The Theology Of Alfred E. Newman
What, me be Catholic?

First, I wrote about the Theology of Punctuation. Then I touched on the Theology of Velcro. From there, it was the Theology of Victimization.

I now give to you, the Theology of Alfred E. Newman. Yeah, you guessed it. The latest and greatest figures are out on those 'momentary lapses in judgment' by sodomite 'priests'. The bishops themselves admit to 783 new credible claims last year, most of which date back decades, and costs of nearly $467 million just for those claims. And get ready for this... homosexual abuse by so-called 'priests' have topped more than $1 billion.

Sheesh, a BILLION samolians sure could have kept more than a few parishes open, ya think? But who am I to question the stalwart leadership and wisdom of such fine fellows Cardinal Roger The Dodger Mahoney, Cardinal Bernard Above The Law or Archbishop Rembert $450,000 Is A Small Amount To Pay To Keep My Boyfriend Quiet Weakland?

And what balloon juice do we get from these same wonderful 'leaders' and their ilk? "As long as he's celibate, it shouldn't matter", "there's no homosexual sub-culture in THIS diocese!", "those who rigidly adhere to Catholic teaching are ill suited for the priesthood", etc, etc, make me puke...

Do these guys honestly think that we're buying off on this bill of goods that they've sold us? Do they really think that we're all that monumentally stupid? Or could it just possibly be that they all adhere to The Theology of Alfred E. Newman?

Breaking News From Rome
Get ready for the REAL 'Springtime of The Church'

Deo Gratias!

It's being reported that the Traditional Latin Mass will soon be available (possibly as soon as next month) for any and all priests of the Latin Rite, without any of the "bishops approval" nonsense.

As Former Altar Boy The Great pointed out just two posts prior to this one, there are waiting lists for the seminaries that are Traditional Latin Mass only.

Hmmm... could it be that it's only a matter of time before certain diocese start opening parishes instead of closing them?

Lupe Moreno for PRESIDENT!
Forget About The California State Senate
Hat Tip to Digi

What? A political candidate who is actually just another working schmuck like you and me? A political candidate who puts their loyalty to America first? A political candidate who actually exercises come common sense??!!

All together now...

LOO-PAY! LOO-PAY! LOO-PAY!

...and don't forget to donate a buck or two!

Scholarships for Latin Mass Priests
Priests seek greater reverence

The Latin Mass Society has launched a training fund to provide training days in England and Wales for priests who wish to learn the Latin and rubrics of the Traditional Latin Mass. It will also provide funds for priests to stay in the European seminaries of the Traditional priestly orders such as the Institute of Christ the King, Sovereign Priest where they can experience the Traditional ethos and receive spiritual and practical advice from Traditional priests.

The two main Traditional priestly orders are the Institute of Christ the King and the [Priestly] Fraternity of St Peter. Their seminaries only provide training in the Traditional rite and they have long waiting lists of young men wishing to serve the Church as Traditional priests.

Julian Chadwick, Chairman of the Latin Mass Society, said: "There is growing interest, particularly among younger priests, in the Traditional rite and the LMS has received many requests for help from priests eager to find out more about this rite. The feeling is growing that a sea change has begun in the Church and priests are searching for greater reverence and spiritual depth in the celebration of Mass."

Re-read the bold text and tell me what more needs to be said.

Cave visitors will also have their hopes raised by reading an interview with Fr. Gabet and Msgr. Schmitz from the aforementioned Latin Mass orders about how the Latin liturgical tradition is leading the faithful to holiness.

What Comes Around, Goes Around
You wouldn't want to make Baby Jesus cry, would you?

This is legit. A brother Catholic is (as we use to say in The Corps) in the Hurt Locker. He's fallen on some hard times, and but for the Grace of God... I haven't yet. If and when I ever become a resident of said Hurt Locker, I'd like to think that folks might help me out as well.

Click here for the straight scoop.

Don't make any of the Cavemen or any of our fellow Blog-Lodytes come to your house and bonk you on the head with our clubs because your freakin' tightwad!!

All joking aside... It's the right thing to do. And besides, God will smile on you.

Are You Loyal To The Red White And Green?
If so, move there

The recent anti-immigration law protests lately really piss me off. Here we have hundreds of thousands who, at a minimum, are in favor of rewarding lawbreakers. Or those who, at a maximum, have a greater (if not an absolute) loyalty to a nation other than The United States of America.

Should we be proud of our ethnic origins? Absolutely. But if my loyalty should ever belong to a nation other than ours, then it's time to vote with my feet and don't let the door hit my ass on the way out.

By the way, I recall a story from the late 1970's about a young man who was one of the Iranian Hostages. A certain Sgt. William Gallegos, USMC. I remember that he scrawled something on his cell wall in Spanish. Some of the Iranian captors thought he had written something revolutionary (a la Che Guevara). Young Sgt. Gallegos most certainly did write something revolutionary on his cell wall... Viva Rojo Blanco Y Azul.

By the way, before I'm labeled a racist, my grandfather on my mothers side was Antonio Diaz Perez, and my grandmother was Estella Pangelinan Perez.

'Nuff said.

I Admit Defeat
This Caveman is jumpin' on that bandwagon

The current John Paul The Great phenomenon is just too much for the me battle alone. A College named John Paul The Great; various Catholic schools named John Paul The Great; the phrase John Paul The Great in numerous writings from various and sundry priests and bishops; websites and blogs out the butt that state John Paul The Great, etc, etc. I'm simply overwhelmed.

I've asked many a time just what it was that made Pope John Paul "Great". I never got a straight answer.

I've stated that prior to JPII, there were 264 legitimate pontiffs and only 2 of them had the title "The Great" bestowed upon them. The obvious question from here is; what made JPII "greater" than the other 262? Yet again, I never got a straight answer.

The best answer I could get for rationalizing "The Great" was "it's the will of the people". Well, I'm one of the people. And John Paul The Great it is.

Oh, and by the way, seeing that I'm "one of the people"... everyone else is "The Great" from now on. Former Altar Boy The Great, PreVatII The Great, Conde The Great, Dymphna The Great, Fidei Defensor The Great, Jeff The Great, Fugger The Great, Der Tommissar Der Great, Rhonda The Great, Digi The Great, Paul Just This Guy You Know The Great, Crescat The Great, Rick Da Great, Gillibrand The Great, Jay The Great, Amy The Great, my pet collie Megan The Great, the breakfast I just are was Great, et cetera, et cetera... and others too numerous to mention The Great.

ADDENDUM ---

Because:

a. Christine asked
b. I stole Advocatus Militaris' "puffs of smoke" idea from him
c. I was braindead and forgot to add Carlton

they are all to be from here on out, known as (insert name here) The Great

ADDENDUM II ---

Because:
a. I don't want Scarlette to be mucho in debt, she is hereby The Great

Are Catholics Returning To A More Traditional Form Of Catholicism?
...and is it scaring the hell out of (and really pissing off) liberals?

That failed experiment known as The Spirit of Vatican II is mercifully in it's death throes. Our ever so brief flirtation with Protestantism is finally coming to an end. We surely have a long way to go, but the obvious is just that... obvious. Deo Gratias.

I've been noticing more and more as of late, news stories such as this bit of drivel "Bishops Bowing To Rome" from The Gazette of Montreal, Canada. Wow, what a concept. Catholic bishops are actually adhering to official Catholic Teaching. And without fail, the likes of Sister Mary NewAge and Father LimpWrist are uber-pissed off.

Now we come to this lovely bit of Yellow Journalism, courtesy of the Evening Chronicle of New Castle, UK. I love the headline, "Extremist Sect Sets Up Church". The first few lines are even better;

It could almost be from the Da Vinci Code. An extremist sect of the Roman Catholic Church, an empty church, a pot of cash and the threat of excommunication by the last Pope. But this tale of intrigue is real and is being played out on Tyneside where the sect is spending £500,000 of Lottery cash to restore a run-down church. St Cuthbert's in Bensham, Gateshead, has stood empty for 16 years. But now the John Dobson-designed building is set to re-open as the North East base of a fundamentalist society rejected by mainstream Catholics.

WOW!! Da Vinci Code... extremist... excommunication. They sure did hit all the hot buttons, 'eh? I particularly enjoy the "a fundamentalist society rejected by mainstream Catholics" line.

What exactly is this extremist sect doing... advocating the burning Protestants at the stake, or the beheading of moslems? They must be doing something extra bad. The Evening Chronicle has me frightened to death!

Oh, I know what it is that's so damn horrible. They celebrate the Traditional Latin Mass. What fringe group are they talking about? The Society of St. Pius X. Wait... wait. I thought they were "a fundamentalist society rejected by mainstream Catholics", right? Dario Cardinal Castrillon Hoyos has already stated "I see no heresy or schism in the SSPX's activities". The Holy Father himself has made no secret that a Regularization is right around the corner. But silly me, both Pope Benedict and Cardinal Castrillon Hoyos and aren't "mainstream Catholics", huh?

Hmmm... does "mainstream Catholic" translate to someone to the left of martin luther? Could be...

And by the way, for all those "mainstream Catholic" blogs out there (and you know who you are) who literally have the hate dripping from your jowls towards anything and everything traditional, orthodox and conservative, I suggest you either get ready to update your templates, or find a nice Protestant denomination that suits your particular brand of heresy.

Quote Of The Day
Why women are inferior to men

~If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base ~

What A Bunch Of Clowns
...I'm not making this up

I knew it was only a matter of time. Now we have a Circus Mass. Was is celebrated at St. Bozo's? Personally, I love the vestments. Lions and tigers and bears (and clowns), oh my! I wonder what the liturgical significance of the vestments are... Silly Thursday of Holy Week?

By the way, is a High Circus Mass said on the trapeze? Is Holy Water shot out of a fake lapel flower? I wonder how many of their priests are sword swallowers?

Maybe I should leave that last one alone... ya think?

Doesn't Violating The Eight Commandment Send You To Hell?
Unless you're the Vicar General of the Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis... then it's ok

WARNING!! Harsh language alert. If you have virgin ears, a limp wrist, protruding hemorrhoids, pattern baldness, are lactose intolerant, etc, etc, you may want to pass on this post.

Roll up your trouser legs... the bullshit's getting deep the the Roman Protestant Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis. Vicar General Father Kevin McDonough stated: "I don't believe in this archdiocese there has ever been an active subculture of homosexual priests who were sexually active and justifying their behavior."

Hold on... back the truck up. I've never personally been backstroking in a pool of shit, but I think the good folks in St. Paul-Minneapolis are about to.

Father McDonough's public assertion was surprising especially since his own brother Professor William McDonough, a priest (active as such at least until 1998) in the diocese, is on public record going against Church teaching on homosexuality. At The Society of Christian Ethics, professor McDonough convened the "Gay and Lesbian Issues Interest Group sessions". In 2001, he presented the paper "Toward a MacIntyrean ethic of same-sex life partnerships". In an issue of Review for Religious he authored "Acknowledging The Gift Of Gay Priestly Celibacy."

Moreover, there is definitely a hornet's nest among clergy in the diocese regarding the Church's teaching on homosexuality. In February 2006, 27 priests of the diocese sent a letter to the bishop saying his support of the marriage amendment was a scandal and act of discrimination, but the archdiocese is unwilling to release the names of the priests who signed the letter. What a shocker, huh?

A week later, over 130 staff and faculty at the Catholic University of St Thomas protested against the administration with a letter stating "the love, commitment and monogamy" of a lesbian couple as "no less real because they are not married."

On Ash Wednesday, 2006, a St. Paul priest who objected to the sexualization of children in the diocesan touching program was silenced by what the "tough" nun in charge promised would be a "two by four" from (you guessed it) Fr. Kevin McDonough.

In 2004, the Vatican intervened in the archdiocese to have a parish pull 'gay pride' promotions from it's website.

I'm stunned that the arrogance of of these wolves in sheeps clothing. The blatantly obvious is staring everyone in the face, yet they feign innocence.

Our Lady of Akita was exactly right when she said; "The work of the devil will infiltrate even into the Church in such a way that one will see cardinals opposing cardinals, bishops against other bishops. The priests who venerate me will be scorned and opposed by their confreres (other priests). Churches and altars will be sacked. The Church will be full of those who accept compromises and the demon will press many priests and consecrated souls to leave the service of the Lord."

"The demon will be especially implacable against the souls consecrated to God. The thought of the loss of so many souls is the cause of my sadness. If sins increase in number and gravity, there will be no longer pardon for them."

Fr. McDonough, I'll come out and say it... you're a damn liar.

Those Whacky Germans!
Is kneeling in silent reverence too much to ask for?

I tell ya... I love 'The Spirit of Vatican II'. Hula Masses, Liturgical Dancers, the 'shrine to saint judas', etc, etc, ad nauseum.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any more bizzare, along comes the most disturbing thing to come out of Germany since Zyklon B and David Hasslehoff-mania.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Damen und Herren, I give to you... Cosmic Body Prayer.

I'm not going to post pictures nor am I going to even attempt to describe it. Yes, it's that weird. But here's what you do; first, copy this address:

http://www.datacomm.ch/kapelle/Dynamischesvaterunser.htm

Now go to this site and paste the address where you see "Translate a Web page" (it's towards the bottom of the page). Make sure you choose "German to English". The translation is kind of funky, but I'm sure you'll be able to make out the "Our Father".

Be prepared to be... aww hell, I don't know what to say. I'm still stunned!

Did Vatican II Really Give Us A New Religion?
One of those 'read between the lines' things

The Catholic News Agency is considered by many to be a legitimate, mainstream, and respectable Catholic news service. Somewhat tilted towards the Left, but still credible. Or so I thought.

The story I linked to has to do with the recent Consistory where one of the main topics of discussion was the Latin Mass. Said article has a paragraph here that I found somewhat... shall I say, disconcerting?

"The Pope and the Cardinals discussed whether or not they may declare a full amnesty for the free use of Pope V's Latin missal; and how to do so without betraying the spirit of the Vatican II Council"

Hold on... back the truck up. Amnesty? I thought amnesty was for those who, at a maximum, had committed some sort of transgression or crime. Or for those who, at a minimum, were unjustly persecuted. Why should there be an amnesty for the Latin Mass? I am utilizing the English language correctly, am I not? Either those who are desirous of the Latin Mass are either criminals or are being oppressed, right?

Also, since when did the usage of the Mass of Pius V (the Traditional Latin Mass) constitute a betrayal of the so-called Spirit of Vatican II? Betrayal is their word... not mine. The only way that a betrayal could have taken place, is if everything since Vatican II, and in keeping with the Spirit of Vatican II, was diametrically opposed to everything Catholic prior to 1962.

In other words, since Vatican II, there's been a new religion. Many of us have been saying that the more liberal minded within The Church have been gravitating towards a total wreckovation of everything Catholic. I think I just found another example of it.

British(?) MP Supports Iranian Nuke Program
Any chance he could join CPT?

Vidkun Quisling, Benedict Arnold, Henri-Philippe Pétain, etc. We can now add British Member of Parliament George Galloway. Reasonable men can have reasonable discussions and reasonably disagree on the War in Iraq. But when we start getting hit with quotes like "the crazed Zionist Crusader fundamentalists", I have to take pause. By the way, that interview was on Abu Dhabi TV on March 18, 2006. Interesting, huh?

Galloway even supports the Iranian Nuke program. Hmmm... gas is 5 cents a gallon in Iran. They desperately need "peaceful" nuclear power for what reason, again?

I've made no secret that I look upon this war as an extension of the Battles of Lepanto, Vienna, Tours, etc. But anyhow, back to Abdullah al-Galloway.

He's the MP from an area known as Bethnal Green and Bow. A constituency in London's East End that comprises approximately four square city blocks and 357,928 moslems, 12 of them actually have jobs. As a member of some abomination called "RESPECT The Unity Coalition", Galloway has the support of such widespread groups as; The International Socialist Group, The Socialist Unity Network, Socialist Resistance, The Communist Party of Great Britain, and let's not forget those party animals, Muslim Association of Britain.

When asked for his comments on the British Armed Forces in Iraq, Galloway called upon Arabs to kill British Servicemen when he stated in 2003 "Iraq is fighting for all the Arabs. Where are the Arab armies?". I can only take that one way.

If and when the moslems do take over Europe, Galloway is setting himself up to be sitting pretty. Maybe a nice cushy job as the Sultan of the British Isles?

Apparently, he must be confusing Iranian President Ahmadinejad with Beldar Conehead, A.K.A. Donald R. DeCicco.

"When my people come to colonize this planet, you will be on the protected rolls, and no harm will come to you."

AlGore-TV
From the "Another Sign Of The Coming Apocalypse" file

Al Gore's cable station, Current TV has expanded to 8 million homes. Hmmm, I wonder what kind of shows they'll be airing? Possibly something like... this?


Al Gore's Dance Party ~ Saturday; 11:30 am. Al single-handedly keeps alive the stereotype that white folks can't move with any rythmn at all. Hosted by Stephen Hawking.




Scraggly Beard Theatre ~ Monday; 2:45 am. Join Al with special guests Michael Moore and the ghost of Che Guevara as they commiserate over the heartbreak of being unable to grow a half-assed decent beard.






America's Funniest Molestations ~ Thursday; 8:00 pm. Al and Tipper take a trip down mammary lane. Al paw's the old girl like it's Jr/Sr Night all over again, but this time on national TV! Tonight's episode: "Off Like A Prom Dress".




Scary and the Hendersons ~ In a remake of the 1987 original, Al plays Harry, a the missing link between liberals and human beings. Harry's hilarious tirades make his adopted family ready to send him back to the wilds of Massachusetts or San Francisco or Washington DC or wherever the hell they found his crazy ass!

Southern Boys Know How To Treat 'Em
Two strikes, your out... the hard way

South Carolina lawmakers are debating if two time child rapists should be put to death. Personally, I think that ONE time rapists of any kind need to ride the needle.

But anyhow, that's one of the things I love about living Down South. Around here, "Yo Honnah, that boy just NEEDED killin'!" is considered a legitimate legal defence.

Ireland Slouches Towards Gomorrah
Irish Prime Minister to Officially Open Homosexual Activist Office

Ireland. A word that was once synonymous with everything Catholic. Not anymore. Ireland is rapidly becoming nothing more than just another post-Vatican II casualty. Another modernist cesspool. Springtime for The Church, my ass.

Anyhow, The Prime Minister of Ireland, Bertie Ahern, will officiate at the opening ceremony for the new offices of Ireland's top homosexual activist organization on April third. Ahern's endorsement of the Gay and Lesbian Equality Network (GLEN) will be the first time an Irish government leader has officially supported homosexual activism.

A recent poll by a major Irish newspaper (Irish Examiner) showed the country is split on the issue, with 51% indicating support for same-sex "marriage."

But don't expect to hear a whole hell of a lot from The Roman Catholic archbishop of Dublin, Diarmuid " don't write off a candidate for the priesthood simply because he is a gay man" Martin. Oh, and he's also in favor of giving legal rights to homosexual "couples". What a shocker, huh?

We need to hold off on baptizing the converted, and start working on converting the baptized.

iPod Meme
With a Caveman twist

Digi and Amy have an interesting meme going on, but I thought I'd devolve mine. What we're suppose to do is play tunes on our iPod, but at a random shuffle. Whatever song is playing is suppose to be the answer to that particular question.

In the immortal words of Bullwinkle J. Moose, "Teeny-weeny chili beanie... the spirits are about to speak!"

1. Is it really true that when all else fails, get a bigger hammer? Cruel To Be Kind by Nick Lowe. Hmmm, Nick Lowe is upbeat and peppy. Who am I to argue with Nick Lowe?

2. An old family friend is converting to the One True Faith. Unfortunately, the DRE in stretch pants has done nothing but confuse her. Should I intervene? Teo Torriate (Let Us Cling Together) by Queen. Sage advice indeed from a dead homosexual. Intervene it is!

3. Will the viewer hits on this blog increase? Suffragette City by Bowie. All I can garner from this is the line "this mellow thighed chick just put my spine outta place". Ewwww... cryptic.

4. Will PreVatII ever get off his dead ass and post more often? Montana by Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention. As I harrumph an indignant "WELL"! If PV Deuce is going to move to Montana and be a dental floss tycoon... then good riddance to him!

5. Was I right or wrong for posting those pictures of the Catholic hottie super model, Adriana Lima? Everybody's Everything by Santana. HELL YEAH! That chick's body IS everything! Woo-Hoo!

6. Will I ever learn the entire Our Father in Latin? I'm The Man by Joe Jackson. Lord, I KNOW You're The Man! Should I take that as a yes?

7. Am I really as cool as my mom tells me I am? Weapon Of Choice by Fatboy Slim. What could be cooler than a dancing Christopher Walken?

8. Will Wal-Mart ever sell clothes made in America? That's Right (You're Not From Texas) by Lyle Lovette. Damn Wal-Mart. Who wouldn't believe young Abe Lincoln... I mean Lyle Lovette?

9. I've been considering getting yet another tattoo. Right across my chest - "Mr Coroner, Please Try CPR One More Time". Should I get it? Synchronicity (Part I) by The Police. I've always wanted to go out with one final laugh.

10. Will at least five other bloggers do the Caveman iPod Meme? God Gave Rock And Roll To You by KISS. Don't make me have Gene Simmons come to your house and vomit blood all over you. DO THE CAVEMAN IPOD MEME!!

Relapsed Catholic Hits The Cave
...and what a hit she is!

Kathy over at Relapsed Catholic not only hit the nail right on the head, she's used up the whole box.

Kathy's about as subtle as a napalm run (but probably smells a whole bunch nicer!). Anyhow, she has a killer-diller posting on Leftist Peaceniks, and what phonies they really are.

Here's a tasty morsel to whet your appetite;

Catholic Worker founder, Popular Front dupe and Communist fellow traveler Dorothy Day put her indelible temperamental stamp on her followers, making it ok to be a crusty bossy bitch as long as you did it for Jesus. She even opposed US entry into World War II.

Look at Gandhi: a misanthropic weirdo who slept with naked girls to "test his celibacy", was obsessed with bowel movements and advised European Jews to let Nazis murder them as a symbol of something or other.

(Jeez, what IS it with these people and Hitler...?)

I think I'll be visiting Relapsed Catholic more often!

San Diego ~ 2d To Last In Vocations
But 1st in the National League West

I sure do miss my hometown. Beautiful weather, great beaches, Catholic priests that would make martin luther proud. Well, maybe I don't miss my hometown all that much.

Take a gander at this, and try not to cry;

Father Tom Shaw went through all of his priestly training for the Diocese of San Diego only to be told in his final interview that he did not have a priestly vocation and would not be ordained here. He believes that the diocesan leadership knows what to do to attract vocations but won't do it. "You have to have a commitment to orthodoxy," Father Shaw says, "which isn't there. When they let me go, I was told by a nationally prominent lay leader in San Diego that they didn't want orthodox priests."

Father Shaw says that seeing so many homosexual priests not only discourages vocations, but also discourages society at large. "Man has been emasculated," he says. "Now you have to be a 'sensitive man.' The entire culture has been emasculated. The Church is reeling right now because it bought into the culture. The Church is supposed to be counter-cultural. The Church teaches truth when it encounters falsehood. You don't water down the truth. But too many priests -- and it's happened widely in San Diego -- have bought into the culture."

"When young men see nothing but effeminate priests," says Father Feinberg, "that doesn't attract vocations."

But oddly enough, the Tridentine Latin Mass Congregation of San Diego recently had the Bishop of San Diego, oh so graciously, give "permission" for a second Latin Mass to be celebrated every Sunday. It seems that the chapel there at Holy Cross Catholic Cemetery was literally busting at the seams (I go to Mass at Holy Cross whenever I visit home). Lot's of young families with plenty o' little 'uns in tow... not just a bunch of old "dinosaurs" longing for the Mass of their youth.

You know... I'm amazed that one of the largest Catholic diocese in the nation can only muster four seminarians. But the FSSP and the SSPX have waiting lists for their seminaries. Isn't that amazing?

She's Young, She's Hot, She's Pro-Life, She's Catholic!
From the "running around in your skivvie drawers" file

Hat Tip to The Bird

For every Kate Moss -- there is an Adriana Lima. From the latest GQ Magazine:

ADRIANA LIMA -- OUR FAVORITE VIRGIN?

Excerpt:
GQ: I take it you're religious?

Lima: Yes! I am Catholic. [she pulls out the cardboard scapular hanging around her neck, under her big gray sweater]

GQ: Wow. A scapular. Do you go to church?

Lima: Of course! Every Sunday.

GQ: Is there anything in the teachings of the Catholic Church that you don't agree with?

Lima: No.

GQ: Are you pro-life?

Lima: What do you mean, pro-life?

GQ: How do you feel about abortion?

Lima: I think it's a crime.

How can ANYONE be an atheist!? There's no way in the world that this chick just "fell into place".

Freed Hostages To British Military ~ Screw You
Don't bite the hand that freed ya

Remember a couple of days ago the story of those idiots who call themselves the "Christian Peacekeeping Team"? You know the story I'm talking about... the one where these American, Canadian and British self-anointed do-gooders go to Iraq (in the guise of "Christians") to suck up to terrorists and scream about how horrible The West is. I guess molly-coddling terrorists passes for evangelization nowadays. Silly me.

Anyhow, four of these dip-shits went and got themselves kidnapped by the very same repressed individuals that the CPT professes to have such a deep and abiding love for. Even one of their own was tortured and then had his brains blown out. Sheesh, if this is how the terrorist treat their friends, I would hate to see how they treat their enemies. Oh, wait... these numbskulls call themselves "Christian". That's all the reasoning the terrs need to kill them.

Anyhow, General Sir Mike Jackson, the head of the British Army, expressed the unhappiness of the military last night when he said that he was “saddened that there doesn’t seem to have been a note of gratitude for the soldiers who risked their lives to save those lives”.

Hey Mikey, don't you get it? These CPT ass-holes would have much rather if your boys would have all been killed. In fact, I'd wager that they would have cheered if some (if not all) of the rescuers would have been killed in the rescue attempt, proper.

Here are some interesting stats from what the Brits did to free these ingrate pukes;

RESCUE FIGURES

The hunt for Norman Kember and his fellow hostages involved:

250 men from the Task Force Black US/British/Australian counter-kidnap unit

100 men from Task Force Maroon, the Paras and Royal Marines backing special forces

15 men in helicopter crews

AND tens of thousands of (British) pounds spent on helicopter and transport aircraft flights

and not even a simple "Thank You".

And what is even more galling, this from November, 2005. The CPT officially stated the following; “CPT does not advocate the use of violent force to save lives of its workers should they be kidnapped, held hostage, or caught in the middle of a conflict situation.”

Best bet, let these friggin' morons have their way. They can end up either being found in a back alley in Baghdad found tortured to death, or they can make the 11 o'clock airing of the local news on al-Jazeera being seen in a rather grainy video having their collective heads carved off.

What was that old saying about "dancing with the devil"?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

UPDATE
I've just found out that there has finally been a very belated "thank you" to the rescuers;

"We are grateful to the soldiers who risked their lives to free Jim, Norman and Harmeet. As peacemakers who hold firm to our commitment to non-violence, we are also deeply grateful that they fired no shots to free our colleagues"

The irony was not lost on them or on those involved in the rescue. The military they opposed had saved them.

Add A 51st Star To The American Flag
...and make it a real big red one

President Bush has screwed us again. He's granted a no-bid contract to the Communist Chinese (they're actually Fascist) to operate nuclear detection devices to screen cargo heading from The Bahamas to the U.S.

Hong Kong based Hutchison Whampoa Ltd. will be responsible for U.S. security in this specific case, and get ready for this... this will happen without American customs agents present. That's right, the very same Hutchison Whampoa Ltd. that a U.S. military intelligence report, once marked "secret," cited Hutchison Whampoa Ltd. in 1999 as a potential risk for smuggling arms and other prohibited materials into the United States from the Bahamas.

And the billionaire chairman, Li Ka-Shing, also has substantial business ties to China's Communist government. Interesting, huh? I wonder if "Li Ka-Shing" translated into German really means "Krupp"?

An interesting story from January, 2000, looks like the largest container port in the world was completed in The Bahamas by... you guessed it... Hutchison Whampoa Ltd.

One more lil tid-bit concerning the Panama Canal; Panama's politicians gave Hutchison Whampoa Ltd. the right to control anchorages on both ends of the canal, to hire new pilots to guide ships through the waterway, to block all passage that interferes with the company's business, to take control of key public roads near the canal and to have right of first refusal for control of some former U.S. military bases.

Hey George, thanks a lot. Yeah, I know the Panama Canal debacle was Clinton's doings, but Bush hasn't missed a beat.

Sheesh, with "conservatives" like Bush, who needs liberals? The more I see how things are developing, the more I'm certain that Pat Buchanan was right.

New To The Lair
Say hello to my lil friend(s)! ~ Tony Montana

The Donegal Express. Would an occasional pic of a dog be too much to ask?

A Moof's Take. I hate being all Moofed up! But it's OK, she'll gimme a shot and then I'll feel much better.

Catholic Politicians. Hard hitting, no bullshit, straightforward and honest. Can we all pitch in and buy him a flame-thrower?

The Carolina Canonball. YEEEEE-HAAAAAW! Revisionist history be damned. The Carolina Canonball knows that there was no "Civil War". It's correctly called "The War When The North Invaded America".

4-Year-Old Killed for Refusing To Call Mom's Lesbian Lover "Daddy"
I guess she wasn't all that "gay" after all

In a particularly sad story, a four year old South African boy named Jandre Botha was beaten to death by his mother's butch gal-pal. Evidence showed he had sustained horrific injuries, including a fractured skull and brain damage, as well as broken legs, collarbone, hands and pelvis.

The mother did nothing while her "lover" beat her own son to death.

What's Hell Like?
Which "hell" are you talking about?

1035 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church describes hell as "the chief punishment [of hell] is eternal separation from God". Well, duh. We all know that.

Here's what bothers me... in today's new and improved, Spirit of Vatican II approved, huggy-touchy Catholicism, the above is all we ever hear about hell (with the exception of a very few Novus Ordo parishes, and anywhere that a Traditional Latin Mass is celebrated).

Hey, what ever happened to fire & brimstone, gnashing of teeth, all that jazz? I guess that's been replaced with being placed into the Forever Time Out Corner. Didn't Jesus speak of an unquenchable fire? Is that now just a wood sliver that you'll never quite able to get out? I just know that the Holy Mother showed the children at Fatima a down-right terrifying vision of hell, right? Silly me, Jesus sent His mother to Fatima just to scare the daylights outta three little kids, huh?

I'll readily admit that I'm no learned theologian, but this pain-free, watered down, don't worry-be happy theology is a farce. I know damn good and well that hell is a whole lot more than just a waiting line at the DMV that goes on for all eternity.

Is it too much to ask for priests who will stop telling people what they want to hear... and start telling them what they need to hear?

How Times Change
When the norm becomes extreme

One thing you never want to do is believe anything the popular media has to say about the Church until you’ve confirmed it from official Vatican sources. The press, in general, despises the Church and what it stands for, but also – as their coverage of the last papal election clearly showed – knows very little about the Church or how it works.

With that in mind, it is still interesting to see what the Associated Press had to say about the Pope’s upcoming conclave:

“After thanking the cardinals for coming, Benedict asked them to offer their thoughts on several pressing issues facing the church, including relations with Islam and the split with the ultraconservative group Society of St. Pius X founded by Archbishop Marcel Lefebvre, the Vatican said.”

Just think 40 years ago, or even 400 years ago, SSPX would be considered normal, routine, and common. But thanks to the modernist hijacking of Vatican II and all the novelties, banalities, and nonsense that have flowed from it, a traditional order is now considered “ultraconservative.”

Hypocritical Canadian Lawmakers
Christians don't rate asylum... but homosexuals do

First I had to try to figure out the Canadian fascination with Curling (which I have yet to do) and now I have to make heads or tails of their ridiculous asylum laws.

OK... lemme see if I have this straight; if a certain sodomite gets bitch-slapped and is called a "fag" in whatever nation, said Rump Ranger can seek asylum up in The Great White North. To wit: refugees claiming homosexual persecution are assured of finding protection in Canada. Although sexual orientation is not specified under Canada's legislation, the category "membership in a particular social group" allows claims on grounds of sexual orientation.

Hmmm.... But Canada's IRB (Immigration and Refugee Board) routinely fails to recognize the claim of refugee status from Egyptian Coptic Christians (both Catholic and Orthodox Copts). In one case, the claimant sought refugee status after being beaten by a group of Muslim men because he's a Christian. A Muslim member of the IRB heard his claim, and denied him refuge (what a shocker). His case was appealed and he will receive another hearing. Well isn't that swell of the IRB.

But I guess I shouldn't be too rough on the Canadians. As crappy as their immigration laws may be, at least they enforce them.

Georgie-porgie, are ya listening?

NBC Actor Refers To Troops As '19 And 20-Year-Old Kids Who Couldn't Get A Job'
"I know more about war than troops" ~ Richard Belzer

Yep... you read it correctly. In an exchange with Florida Congresswoman Ileanna Ros-Lehtinen on the HBO program "Real Time with Bill Maher" (big shocker there, huh?) Law & Order's Richard Belzer claims that he knows more about war than the troops that have a combat tour already under their belt.

Interesting, a second rate actor and third rate comedian (who by the way, never spent one day of his life in uniform, and needless to say, he's sans a combat tour) has the gall to say what he said.

I tell ya what Belzer, instead of mouthing off to a Congresswoman in a TV studio where not only the host but the audience is nothing but flaming liberals, try spouting your bullshit to a 19 year old Marine Infantryman who just came home from a combat tour in either Iraq or Afghanistan.

I'd pay good money to watch that young Marine kick your ass up and down the street. But for some strange reason, I don't see Belzer doing that. Pukes like him would rather verbally beat up on women. What a maggot.

Hey Buddy, You Carrying Anything In That Scrotum?
“Male and female He created them.” Gen. 1:27

Balls, nuts, huevos, rocks...slang words for twin parts of the male anatomy, but also a metaphor for the manly virtue known as fortitude, bravery, courage, or another slang term, guts.

Sadly, too many men in this country, and that includes the ones who are Catholic, have forgotten – or never learned – what is means to be a man.

Thanks to the highjacking of Vatican II by the radicals, too many priests have forgotten their role a member of the ordained (and, all male) priesthood and surrendered their positions to liturgical committees usually dominated by women, primarily women with an agenda. A perfect example of how “ball-less” many of our priests have become, just listen to how they water-down, tiptoe around, and downright alter the part about the role of husbands and wives in St. Paul’s epistle to the Colossians. They need to remember that when Jesus spoke, he “taught with authority.”

This effect on our clergy has not been missed by some manly priests. Check out “The Emasculation of the Priesthood” by Father James McLucas.

Thanks to the aggressiveness of the radical feminist movement, the castrating effect of political correctness, and the fear of accidentally offending some overly sensitive woman who overhears male humor and getting an EEO complaint (This is not to be confused with intentionally offensive behavior or, worse, sexual harassment, which should be penalized and which any real man would not tolerate. Real men are also gentlemen who revere, uphold, and protect women.), many men have turned into wimps or pretend to be something they’re not.

Fortunately, the effect on our culture in general has even been noticed by members of academe. (Yeah, I was surprised to learn there was any testosterone on the Harvard faculty, too.) Naomi Schaefer Riley covers it in her article, “Calling All Hombres: A Harvard sage makes the case for manliness.”

Please chime in with your suggestions, but here’s a few things I offer to turn around this trend.

Edify and exhort any manly priest you know. Let them know they’re appreciated and supported. (They have given up a lot to serve the Lord, and us.) Compliment any “gutsy” sermon.

No more homosexuals admitted to the seminary (or ordained, if they’re already in the seminary).

No more “altar girls.”

How about bringing back some masculine hymns. I don’t know about eating quiche, but real men don’t/won’t sing “On Eagle’s Wings.” Give me anything in Latin, say “Tantum Ergo,” or something strong and militaristic, such as “A Mighty Fortress Is Our God” (yeah, yeah, I know it was written by a heretic, but I defy you to find anything un-Catholic in the theology).

Lt. Col. Dave Grossman tells the story of Greek warrior and philosopher Heraclitus. From the battlefield, Heraclitus complained to Athens about the reinforcements being sent to him. He said only 10 out of 100 were fighters, and only one of them was a true warrior. The other 90 were worthless in battle. Is this what the men of the Church in America have become? As it stand today, many would say “yes.”

St. Joseph, man among men, pray for us.

News From The Future... Future... Future... Future
The NEW Novus Ordo Mass

Der Tommisar has a very interesting post concerning the Dumbing Down of prayers to Catholic schoolchildren. And Chris has posted some absolutely bizzare photos of "Catholic"(?) churches in Europe. I figured it was time to re-post and oldie but a goodie.

Few will argue that The Mass has made some... 'er, shall I say "significant" changes since Vatican II? I think "mutation" is a more accurate word... but anyhow, ever wonder where The Mass may be in about another 40 years? click here to read the entire NEW New Mass


But to whet your appitite, here's a lil' peek.....

Novus Ordo Missae
2044 C.E.

Greeting:
Presider: In the name of the Creator, and of the Redeemer, and of the Paraclete. [All together make the sign of the cross. (for those of you that remember how)]
All: Amen.

Option A:
Presider: May the Holy Groove be placed on y'all.
All: You too, dude

Option B:
Presider: Right on, right on, right on.
All: Right on

Option C:
Presider: Hi there.

Or Bishop: (sounding very official) Hi there.
All: Back at 'chya [The presider or another minister may then briefly introduce the Mass of the day, saying something about the readings, the feast, and/or the special occasion being celebrated, such as Kwanzaa, Shiva's Birthday, Earth Day, The Feast of St. John Calvin, Gay Pride Day, etc.]

Rite of Blessing and Sprinkling Holy Water:

Presider: Groovy People, this water will be used to remind us of our childhood Coming-Out Party/Baptism. Let us ask the Divinity of Undetermined Gender to bless it, and to keep us faithful to the Spirit It has given us. [or similar words of insipidness]

Option A:
Presider: God our Divinity of Undetermined Gender, your gift of water brings life and freshness to the earth we worship.

All: Whoa, dude... that's deep

Option B:
Presider: Some of us can really use a shower.

All: Darn tootin', Fig Newton.

Option C (during the Easter Harvest Season):
Presider: It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring

All: What he say? [After blessing the water, the presider moves through the communal worship space sprinkling all of the people while an antiphon or other song is sung, such as "Raindrops Are Fallin' On My Head", or "Rainy Days And Mondays Always Get Me Down". When the sprinkling and the song is finished, the priest concludes this rite as follows:]

Presider: May our Big Buddy in the Sky cleanse us of our sins, if any actually exist or not... that's irrelevant, and through the symbolic eucharist we celebrate make us worthy to sit with equality at the table in the heavenly kingdom.

All: See me, feel me, touch me.

[This rite is commonly celebrated during the Easter Season, but may also be used at other times. When it is used, the Penitential Rite is omitted, and the Mass continues with the Gloria (on most Sundays and solemnities) or with the Opening Prayer (during Advent and Lent, and on weekdays). Or in keeping with the 2009 ruling of the Council Of American Catholic Bishops, you can simply make it up as you go along]

The Ultimate Quiet Man Trivia Test
Warning John Wayne fans... this is NOT an easy test

You have to be a REAL Quiet Man fan to pass this test. But if your Irish is up... have at it!

1. What relative was Sean Thorton named after?
2. What was Father Lonergan's first name?
3. The O'Flynn's anscestral home was taken from them by who?
4. How many years had it been since the Mayo Hurlers were beaten west of the Shannon?
5. What was Sean Thorton's boxing name?
6. How many Pounds in notes and silver had Mary Kate earned over the past 15 years?
7. What was Mr. Playfair's title on official occasions?
8. How much did Sean Thorton pay for White O' Morn?
9. What was Michael O'Flynn's horse's name?
10. *What is the title of the song played during the fight scene? (It's the same song played at Notre Dame football games when the Irish score.)
11. The town of Inishfree was also mentioned in what other John Wayne film?
12. What did Sean and Mary Kate end up doing with the 350 Pounds that they finally got from Red Will?
13. Where did Mr. Playfair box?
14. How far was it from Inishfree to Castletown?
15. What was the name of the real Irish village where The Quiet Man was filmed?

Can anyone think of anymore?

*Digi, you can't answer this one because I told you this already!

News Briefs & Commentary
From the Caveman News Network

Dateline: BOSTON - Seven priests, including a former vice chancellor, from this diocese, who were accused of molesting children and prepubescent boys have been defrocked by the Vatican. Archbishop O'Malley expressed his "deepest sorrow for the grievous harm" done by the molesters, as he continued to use the multi-million lawsuit settlement as an excuse to close churches and schools and sell off church property.

COMMENTARY: Dear Pope Benedict, Good start, but justice will not be done until "Cardinal" (ugh) Law -- the accomplice after the fact -- is either defrocked or, at a minimum, stripped of his pallium and sent to a monastery in Iraq.

Dateline: WASHINGTON - Two more women have died after taking the baby-killing pill known as RU-486, bringing the death total in the U.S. to six dead expectant mothers with six dead babies. The women had received the abotificient from Planned Parenthood, the same organization that supplied the lethal pill to the other four. The women did not follow the FDA-approved instructions for killing their babies and instead used a procedure suggested by Planned Parenthood. The pro-abortion group said they would stop recommneding that procedure, but quickly countered with statistics that showed they have successfully helped kill 560,000 babies with RU-486 since it was approved for use the U.S. in 2000.

COMMENTARY: How about a warning label on the box, "The contents of this box may kill you and will definitely kill your baby."? And where is the so-called Women's Rights movement on this one - a pill that kills women and not a peep from the feminazis?

Dateline: OCEANSIDE, Calif. - The Mission San Luis Rey de Francia celebrated the 141st anniversay of the return of the mission by President Abrahan Lincoln on this date, less than one month before his assassination. The mission was founded in 1798 and flourished until the Spanish pulled out. In 1846, it was sold by the Mexican governor. The mission's property was divided up, its buildings stripped of all material goods and the mission left for ruin. A patent and proclamation restoring Mission San Luis Rey to the Roman Catholic Bishop of Los Angeles was signed by President Lincoln on March 18, 1865.

COMMENT: Obviously the ACLU wasn't around then, suing to prevent the government from returning seized property back to the Catholic Church. Of course, if Blessed Father Junipero Serra could see the inter-faith religious center the Franciscans have turned the mission into, he'd roll over in his grave.

What Did Jesus Really Look Like?
Probably not like He's portrayed

Ever notice just how many paintings of Christ make Him look like some anorexic 16 year old, narrow shouldered little girl with a beard? If anything, Jesus was the Hulk Hogan of the Holy Land.

Anthropologists have determined that the average Semite male 2,000 years ago stood at a towering 5' 1" tall and weighed in at a whopping 130 lbs. With that said, I for one firmly believe that the Shroud of Turin is in fact, the burial cloth of Christ. The image shows a Man who was 5' 10" tall and tipped the scales at approximately 190 lbs. When people looked up to Jesus... they looked UP to Jesus!

And let's not forget that He was a carpenter by trade. No power drills, just hand drills. No power saws, just hand saws. No nail guns, just big iron hammers. No pick-up truck to haul around 8"X8"X10' cedar lumber, just two strong shoulders and an exceptionally strong back. Any wonder why they sent a whole slew of soldiers to arrest Him in the garden? He was not a Man to be taken lightly.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I kind of chuckle when I see those rather effeminate paintings of Him. If anything, Jesus was (what they use to call back in the old days) a man's man!

Why Is Our Lady Crying?
Shame on UND

WARNING!!!
Harsh language alert! If you have virgin ears, a weak stomach, loose bowels, the heartbreak of psoriasis, no backbone for the truth, a limp wrist, etc, etc. You just may want to pass on this post.

Why is Our Lady crying? Possibly because the University that bears her name has embraced and accepted Sodomy, which is one of the Sins That Cry To Heaven For Vengeance (Gen. 17:20-21).

From the official Notre Dame website, we have an interesting story on how the The Standing Committee on Gay and Lesbian Student Needs at the University of Notre Dame has been restructured, including the addition of a student co-chair and the adoption of a new name. So saith "Father" Mark L. Poorman, C.S.C., vice president for student affairs.

So committing a sin that cries to Heaven for vengeance is now considered a "student affair"? This reminds me an awful lot of the same stuff I use to shovel out of horse stables when I was a kid.

We also have “Since the creation of the standing committee in 1996 and the adoption of our ‘Spirit of Inclusion’ a year later, Notre Dame has sought to better address the needs of our gay, lesbian and bisexual students within the parameters of Catholic teaching,” said Rev. John I. Jenkins, C.S.C., the University’s president.

What??!! "Within the parameters of Catholic teaching"? Ummm... "Father" Jenkins, with all due respects, you're patently full of shit. Don't try to insult our collective intelligence by throwing about phrases like "Catholic teaching". You wouldn't know Catholic teaching if it bit you dead on the ass.

Does anyone really... I mean really think that UND is going to instruct these kids on the real Church teaching towards homosexuality? Hell no. Is UND going to do everything in their power to direct these kids to living celibate lives? Hell no. This is simply another example of what Father Amorth spoke of when he said that legions of demons that have installed themselves in the Vatican.

If you doubt my accusation that UND has embraced and accepted this particular sinful lifestyle, just see what the last sentence was in this article;

The [Standing Committee] group hosts monthly coffee hours, sponsors topical speakers, and organizes “Solidarity Sunday” and events to mark National Coming Out Day.

And National Coming Out Day is suppose to reject homosexuality... it's suppose to make a pledge to live celibately... it's suppose to reject sinful urge? Pray for the conversion back to Catholicism for "Father" Jenkins, "Father" Poorman, and the current Chair of this whole debacle, "Sister" Mary Louise Gude.

May God have mercy on the staff and faculty at the University of Notre Dame. They'll need it.

"Catholic" Universities Link To And Endorse Local Abortuaries
Caveman sez: "Shut every damn one of 'em down"

Enough is enough. The Cardinal Newman Society names names.

Here's just a taste;

Whether it’s internship and job placements with abortion-rights groups, or health center referrals to Planned Parenthood, or general “resource” links, the Web sites of Boston College, DePaul University, Dominican University of California, Georgetown University, Loyola University of Chicago, Loyola University of New Orleans, Our Lady of the Lake University, Santa Clara University, Seton Hall University and the University of Detroit Mercy are under criticism by CNS.

Another Catholic college—the College of St. Catherine in St. Paul, Minnesota—posts online information encouraging students to use contraceptives and abortifacient devices.

Ready for more? Try this on for size;

The Web page of the Women’s and Gender Studies Program at DePaul University (Chicago) offers students links for “Jobs, Internships, Volunteer Opportunities,” including a link to the pro-abortion Feminist Majority Foundation’s “career center.” The “center” lists jobs and internships at abortion-rights groups including NARAL Pro-Choice America, Catholics for a Free Choice, the National Abortion Federation, the Planned Parenthood Federation of America, and the American Civil Liberties Union.

Wait... is that the SAME De Paul University that is now offering a Minor in "Queer Studies"? Yep, sure is.

I don't want just the designation "Catholic" revoked... I want heads to roll. Certain people need to be fired... certain people need to be censured... certain people need to be excommunicated.

What was that story I just posted about The Vatican's Chief Exorcist saying about how the 'Smoke of Satan' has seeped into even the highest of Catholic institutions? Lucifer is alive and well and matriculating on many a "Catholic" campus.

The Feast of St. Joseph
A man of honor. Matt. 1:19

March 19th is the Feast of St. Joseph, one of the heroes of our Church who -- prior to the "liturgical vandalism" following Vatican II -- used to have a statue in every Catholic church and whose feast, unfortunately, gets oversdhadowed by the continued secularization of St. Patrick's day.

Father Tom Euteneuer has a nice piece on St. Joseph in his latest e-letter. Lest you forget to honor him this Sunday, take a few moments to say the following:

Litany of St. Joseph
God the Father of Heaven, have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world, have mercy on us.
God the Holy Spirit, have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, One God, have mercy on us.
Holy Mary, pray for us.
Saint Joseph, pray for us.
Noble son of the House of David, pray for us.
Husband of the Mother of God, pray for us.
Most chaste spouse, pray for us.
Guardian of the Virgin, pray for us.
Foster father of the Son of God, pray for us.
Faithful guardian of Christ, pray for us.
Head of the Holy Family, pray for us.
Joseph, chaste and just, pray for us.
Joseph, prudent and brave, pray for us.
Joseph, obedient and loyal, pray for us.
Patron of husbands, pray for us.
Patron of fathers, pray for us.
Model of workers, pray for us.
Patron of carpenters and woodworkers, pray for us.
Guardian of virgins, pray for us.
Pillar of family life, pray for us.
Comfort of the troubled, pray for us.
Hope of the sick, pray for us.
Patron of a happy death, pray for us.
Terror of evil spirits, pray for us.
Protector of the Church, pray for us.

The Vatican II Rite Of Exorcism A "Joke" ~ Vatican's Chief Exorcist
This is a MUST READ article

Get ready to be knocked off your chair. In an interview with Italy's 30 Days magazine, The Vatican's chief exorcist, Father Gabriele Amorth slams both the Second Vatican Council and the "Spirit of Vatican II" when it comes to the Rite of Exorcism.

Here's just a taste;

AMORTH: During the Second Ecumenical Vatican Council, every commission was assisted by a group of experts who worked alongside the bishops. This custom continued even after the Council every time parts of the Rite were reworked. But not in this case. And if ever there was an area where experts were needed it was this one.

30 Days: Are you saying that the new Rite is useless in the struggle against the Devil?

AMORTH: Yes. Their intention was to arm us with a blunt sword. Some effective prayers were canceled, prayers with 12 centuries of history. New ineffective prayers were written in.

Further in the interview, this bombshell was dropped;

30 Days: Satanism is spreading more and more. The new Rite makes it difficult to perform an exorcism. Exorcists are prohibited from participating in a Papal Audience in Saint Peter’s Square. What exactly is happening here?

AMORTH: The smoke of Satan gets in everywhere, everywhere. Perhaps we were kept out of the Papal audience because they were afraid that all those exorcists might have cast out the legions of demons that have installed themselves in the Vatican.

30 Days: You’re joking, aren’t you?

AMORTH: It might sound like it but I don’t think it is a joke. I have no doubt whatever that the Devil is tempting the upper levels of the Church, above all, just as he tempts every upper level – political and industrial.

Do yourself a favor... read this article. Have your spouse read it, your kids read it, your friends read it. If you're feeling especially cocky, ask your parish priest to read it. You might be... ummmm, surprised at the response you get.

Homosexuality No Longer A Sin!
According to 1,400 Protestant congregations (*and most of the USCCB)

Well, well, well. The sodomy rights movement has found God.

After decades of working to change secular institutions, the national movement, which has largely convinced society that homosexuality is neither a mental disorder nor a crime, is focusing on what its leaders say is their last, and biggest, challenge: convincing believers that it's not a sin.

The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force... announced Monday that a religious organization representing 1,400 Protestant congregations that unconditionally welcome gays and lesbians has merged with the task force.

Ahhh... so God gave us The 10 Suggestions? I hate to tell the Butt Pirate Mafia this, but if you define some guy sloshing his penis around in another guy's feces filled colon as normal or natural or even as acceptable to God... then you obviously have some perverted ideas as to what's normal or natural or even acceptable to God.

*ok, I made that part up, even if it's probably true.

Mahoney To Priests; "Defy Immigration Law!"
Caveman to priests; "Defy Mahoney!"

Roger the Dodger is at it again.

Los Angeles Cardinal Roger M. Mahony said Wednesday he would instruct his priests to defy a proposed federal requirement that churches check the legal status of parishioners before helping them.

The U.S. House of Representatives included the requirement in an immigration bill that the Senate Judiciary Committee is to begin debating this week. The legislation also would penalize social organizations that refuse to meet its requirements.

When asked if he would be willing to go to jail for the stance, Mahony said "yes" because "helping people in need were actions that are part of God's mercy."

Fine... I say put his ass in jail. Then revoke the tax exemption for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. We're not talking about protecting unborn children, we're talking about protecting people who have broken the immigration laws of this country... period.

Also, "Unless you are a Native American, everyone in here is the son or daughter of immigrants," said Mahony. Apparently Mahoney never hear of the Bering Straights Land Bridge. American Indians are the descendants of the natives of Northeast Asia. Yes, American Indians are descendants of immigrants, too. I certainly hope Mahoney's theology is better than his history.

Da Vinci Code, Schlaminski Code
Jesus in Japan, England, Kashmir and America?

Only a hack New-Age writer would put Jesus in France. After all, other than pretentious, self-absorbed Hollywood creeps... who would want to move to France?

But anyhow, here's an informative (and fun) article from our good friends Down Under who touch on some of the more interesting "Jesus Slept Here" legends.

Here's a neat one from Japan;

Followers of this modest religious group, apparently of Shinto-Christian origins, believe that the Saviour “escaped” from Palestine and traveled, via the former Soviet Union, to northern Japan. Here Christ married a Japanese woman and lived to the age of 102. In a small town in Aomori prefecture, there are two burial mounds said to be the graves of Jesus Christ and his Japanese wife.

Then we have The Savior hangin' out in England and Wales, undoubtedly ready to leave post-haste due to the horrid food. "Shall I boil your beef for you s'more, Guvnah? Were the jellied eels to your liking, Yer Lordship?"

From there, we have a lovely story of The Lord, The Holy Mother and St Thomas making their way to Kashmir. Possibly this is where Zep got their inspiration for the song of that same name? [side note: Jimmy Page is officially a Rock 'N Roll Judas after he teamed up with Sean P-Diddy Puffy Heinz Kerry Rodham Clinton Combs on that blasphemous version of Kashmir. Was the 30 pieces of silver worth it, Jimmy?]

And lets not forget those fun loving, toothsome, All-American, gods-in-the-larval-stage Mormons. Yeah, we all know about Jesus making a pit stop in upstate New York. Hey... I know Jews love going to the Catskills, but this is ridiculous!

Dumb And Dumber To Wed
Combined IQ of 43

It's being reported that World Class Homewrecker and Collector of Cambodian Babies, Angelina Jolie has cracked the whip, yet again, on monosyllabic boy-toy, Brad Pitt.

They plan on pledging their undying and never ending love for each other on a boat in the middle of a lake in Italy. Hell, I'm getting seasick just thinking about it.

It's also being reported that "the stunning couple are reportedly buying a love nest in France... the pair are said to be keen on France because celebrities are able to lead relatively paparazzi-free lives there". Really? Tell that to Lady Diana.

By the way, I'm not saying Brad Pitt's dumb, it's just that he makes Barney Rubble look like Sir Alec Guinness.

Lesbo "Bishop" Threatens To Unravel Anglican Communion
Why do you have priestesses anyway?

More news from the Chicks With Pyx front... but this time it's the ECUSA. Looks as if them whacky and wild Episcopalians are seriously considering ordaining Father... or is it Mother... or is it Reverend... or is it Ecclesiastical Presider of Undetermined Gender Bonnie Perry to be the next Head Honchoette of the Bishopric of California.

Oh, and did I mention that she's shacking up... with a woman? Her previous lecture presentations include: "How Body Piercing Can Enhance Your Congregation: Creative Liturgies to Reach Generation X". She is a certified kayaking instructor and describes herself as "a recreational tree climber and avid reader". Shouldn't that be avid tree hugger and recreational bush finder?

Well, it also seem that the Archbishop of Canterbury is going apoplectic and saying that if Presiderette Perry is made bishop, that it would cause an unraveling of the Anglican Church.

To my Anglican/Episcopalian friends out there... John Cardinal Newman had the right idea. C'mon over. I'll even pay the ferry costs for you to Cross the Tiber.

John Paul The Great?
Based on what?

Looks as if my hometown of San Diego, California has launched John Paul The Great Catholic University. I don't know how they can call themselves a University, seeing they don't offer any Masters/Doctorate degree programs. But I'll bet they found a loop-hole. How appropriate.

Nonetheless, below is one of the original postings I wrote when I started this blog. Even though it's more geared towards the current push to canonize Pope John Paul II, the theme still rings true... how in the world does Pope John Paul rate to be referred to as The Great? Only two popes in the history of Catholicism have The Great affixed to their titles. And may God have mercy on his soul, but Pope John Paul did nothing compared to Popes Leo and Gregory The Great. Even Pope St. Pius V, who saved The Church from the double threat of Protestantism and islam hasn't been deemed The Great.

But anyway, on with the posting of Nov 10th, 2005;

Yes, yes... everyone loved the former Holy Father. But as what? A strong Vicar of Christ... a guiding figure of moral absolutes in an uncertain world... a cuddly, if not somewhat confused but still very cuddly grandfather figure?

I say we pull in the reigns on this idiotic "Insta-Saint, Just Add Holy Water" fad. Are we talking Holy Canonization, or some type of ecclesiastical popularity contest? Sheesh... it took forty years to finally canonize the most recent pope to achieve Sainthood, Pope St. Pius X. Sorry, Pope John Paul ain't no Pope St. Pius X.

But I digress, I'm dead set against this break-neck speed race for JP 2's canonization. For many reasons, actually.

1. What great happened under his pontificate? Other than empty seminaries, empty convents, empty pews, sodomite-rapist "priests", rapist protecting bishops, a Lavender Mafia, Catholic schools closing by the truckload, a majority of Catholics that don't even believe in The Real Presence, etc, etc... gee, I can't think of anything great that happened under his watch.

2. John Paul II did produce some utterly brilliant writings. Unfortunately, he was promptly ignored. And to make matters worse, he did absolutely nothing about it. What good is a shepherd who is unwilling (or afraid) to use his crozier?

3. Lastly, this mad dash to Sainthood simply cheapens the entire notion of canonized Saints. Hence, it cheapens Catholicism.

Sacrifice-Free Catholicism
Leave well enough alone

Idea stolen from Digital Hairshirt (Digi and I don't always see eye to eye on a lot of things, but she's still one cool chickie!)

Oh, barf. Anything the American Bishops can do to make Catholicism more user friendly (and sacrifice-free)... they will. Many Holy Days are now moved to Sunday. Even Ascension Thursday is now on a Sunday??

Now many are granting a dispensation for meat this upcoming St. Patrick's Day. That way, us mackerel-snappers can have corned beef. Hold on... if I can have corned beef this upcoming Friday, does that still make me a mackerel-snapper?

Now this may be really presumptuous of me, but isn't abstaining from meat on Fridays suppose to be a sacrifice? Aren't we suppose to bear sacrifices happily? In fact, what ever happened to embracing our sacrifices? If "the bar" were any lower, it would be indistinguishable from a sewer pipe.

I have a new motto specifically for the USCCB; Cast Aside Your Cross And Follow Me

Supreme Court Upholds Anti-Catholic Statue
Where is the "Conservative Majority" I keep hearing about on the SC?

Washburn University, a taxpayer funded school in Kansas, has the Supreme Court of the United States of America on it's side... when it comes to bashing Catholics.

Washburn U. recently unveiled a statue entitled "Holier Than Thou" which depicts a scowling Catholic bishop whose mitre is actually a penis.

The Topeka school's Campus Beautification Committee selected the display to help fulfill its goal of having "one of the most beautiful campuses in Kansas." Also, the university's president, Jerry Farley, defended the display as a fulfillment of the purpose of art, "to engage us intellectually and emotionally."

I just can't help but wonder if President Farley, the Campus Beautification Committee, and the rest of the hypocrites at Washburn would ever consider a bust of Martin Luther King as a lawn jockey... or a Jew with a rather prominent hooked nose portrayed as a money grubber... or even *GASP!!* maybe even Washburn should display some cartoon drawings of mohammed. Do you think Washburn would ever do anything like that... just so they could to engage the student body intellectually and emotionally? Nahhh... I didn't think so either.

By the way, the so-called "artist", Jerry Boyle, describes himself as a "practicing Catholic". I think he needs more practice.

The Da Vinci Mess
Part I: Sanatizing Satanism

Hat Tip to Fr. Tom Euteneuer

Father Thomas Euteneuer, president of Human Life International, has also taken fingers to keyboard about the upcoming movie adaptation of The DaVinci Code in his e-newsletter which is excerted below:

Would it surprise you to know that The DaVinci Code contains a glorified description of a satanic orgy?

What Dan Brown calls hieros gamos, an ancient pagan “sacred marriage” ceremony, is nothing other than a perverse mockery of holy matrimony depicted in living color in the pages of Brown’s book. If this act was “sacred” it was only so to the devil.

It is important to understand Brown’s main reference to this act. The ceremony he describes was featured graphically in the despicable 1999 Stanley Kubrick movie called Eyes Wide Shut.

Brown says that “there were many inaccuracies” in the Kubrick movie but that it was essentially a correct enactment of this “sacred marriage” ritual described in the book. How does Dan Brown know that the movie depiction of this secret ritual was “inaccurate”? I can only conclude that he must have detailed inside knowledge of the ritual himself because Satanists do not generally disclose their trade secrets. Brown’s use of media to glamorize the lord of evil and ritual satanic worship is not to be taken lightly by people of faith.

At our baptism we pledged to “reject Satan, and all his works and all his empty promises.” Who needs to be convinced that the devil uses the entertainment industry to communicate all of his empty promises? The book by Dan Brown sanitizes one very frightening but real work of Satan, and the movie will undoubtedly follow suit. Should any Christian see this movie? It should be rejected with the devil himself.

Ex-NFL Lineman Joins Marines
"I wanted to be a part of something that is going to live forever instead of getting trophies"

Private First Class Jeremy Staat, formerly of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Oakland Raiders, Seattle Seahawks, St. Louis Rams and the Los Angeles Avengers just graduated from Boot Camp at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot, San Diego, California.

“The big reason [I joined] was because I was just really disgusted with the amount of money entertainers get and what they pay troops overseas,” said Staat. “It didn’t seem right that we pay all those entertainers millions to catch a football and we pay our Marines pennies to a dollar to catch a bullet.”

The Da Vinci Hoax
A Tour de Distortion

Hat Tip to Chuck Colson

Charles Colson went to prison for his part in the shenanigans of the Nixon White House. While there, he found the Lord and has devoted his life to prison ministry. Colson also publishes an e-letter called "BreakPoint," to which I have subscribed for some time. Well, if the truth will set you free, an honest search for the truth will lead one to the True Church. I throw that in because I have been impressed with Colson's constant defense of false attacks on the Catholic Church. He is also apt to quote from Catholic saints with some regularity. In this latest edition, he covers the errors of the DaVinci Code, which is exerpted below:

G. K. Chesterton famously said something to this effect: When people stop believing in God, they don't believe in nothing—they believe in anything. A good example of this is Umberto Eco's novel Foucault's Pendulum, in which a group of friends program a computer to "write" a book about secret hidden knowledge. Titled The Plan, the book is the result of random links between things like Kabbalah, Rosicrucianism, the Knights Templar, and other crackpot ideas. While The Plan was intended as a prank, other people take it seriously, with tragic results.

Well, Foucault's Pendulum shows us how gullible unbelieving people are. And this is particularly so in our postmodern age when truth doesn't matter. This phenomenon partly explains the remarkable success of The Da Vinci Code.

Author Dan Brown gives us a Jesus who neither died on the cross nor rose from the dead. Instead, He married Mary Magdalene and had children by her. This "sacred blood line" is the treasure safeguarded by groups like the Knights Templar and the Masons. And the Catholic Church, in a desperate attempt to cover up this secret, murders those who threaten to expose it.
With the upcoming film, interest in The Da Vinci Code will explode. Christians need to seize this teaching opportunity, preparing ourselves to answer questions readers are asking.

The first is: Are the historical events portrayed in Brown's story true? Brown claims to have done extensive historical research and gives his readers no reason to doubt the novel's accuracy. Since the average person knows almost nothing about Christian history, they're vulnerable. For example, when Brown says that Knights Templar were put to death by the Catholic Church because they knew the "true story" about Jesus, people have no basis to question it, never having heard of the Knights Templar. Or when Brown says that at the Council of Nicea, the Vatican consolidated its power, most people are unaware that the Vatican didn't even exist in A.D. 325.

It is our job to expose the falsehoods. We can learn to answer Brown's lies with the truth by reading books like Darrell Bock's Breaking the Da Vinci Code and Erwin Lutzer's The Da Vinci Deception.

Next time: Another commentary on the DaVinci Code from Father Ike.

Bin-Laden's Niece To Star In Reality TV Show
She can declare a Fatwah against me ANYTIME!!

As of yet, no word from Uncle Usama