This Moment Of Clarity Was Brought To You By
Carlton over at Upper Canada Catholic

Q. What are the only things that never change in a Jesuit liturgy?

A. The bread and wine.

For Christmas, I want...
THIS shirt!

H/T to Petrus Radii


http://www.thoseshirts.com/atf.html

All Around Bad Ass Of The Day
Miss Brittany McComb

H/T to Catholiceducation.org

It's with great pride that the Catholic Cavemen declare All-American sweetheart, Brittany McComb, valedictorian of Foothill High School in Clark County, Nevada, as our All Around Bad Ass of the Day.

This Norman Rockwell painting come to life is about as much of a threat to the Constitution as a cute widdle fuzzy bunny wabbit. But don't tell that to the ACLU.

Here's what happened at Brittany's High School graduation;

As Brittany stood up at her graduation and began to speak. A few paragraphs into her speech, school administrators cut off her microphone.

She didn't tell a dirty joke. She didn't curse. She didn't insult her classmates or her teachers. Brittany McComb committed the egregious sin of attempting to thank Jesus. "I went through four years of school at Foothill and they taught me logic and they taught me freedom of speech," McComb stated. "God's the biggest part of my life. Just like other valedictorians thank their parents, I wanted to thank my Lord and Savior."

Needless to say, the ACLU is tickled pink. But Brittany had the guts to stand up to not only an non-Christian environment... she stood up to an anti-Christian environment. How many 18 year olds do we know have the backbone of of this young lady?

With that said... Brittany, you are hereby declared the Catholic Cavemen All Around Bad Ass Of The Day (meant in the nicest way possible!).

One Thousand Rats Killed
PETA Pisses Pants... film at 11

WARNING! Harsh language alert. If coarse language offends you, I suggest you pass on this post.

You read it right. There is an outcry from those idiots in the San Francisco bay area over 1,000 rats being put down by the Petaluma, CA animal shelter.

Listen, you stupid bastards.... they were damn RATS!

"This is an unspeakable injustice to those rats who deserved better," Phyllis Mason, a self-described rat lover, wrote in an e-mail. "Why didn't the Petaluma Animal Shelter give us a chance to help? I cannot imagine that all of those rats were ill. It seems to me that they felt overwhelmed and just didn't want to bother with them."

Listen, dip-shits... they were damn RATS!

Tina Bird of Campbell said rat fanciers were in the process of mobilizing when the rodents were killed. "Maybe they would have been better advised to leave the animals in their horrible conditions until we, the rat community, had a few days to get moving," she wrote in an e-mail. "Be sure that animal lovers across the United States will be scrutinizing Petaluma's actions and culpability for this slaughter."

Listen, dumb asses.... they were damn RATS!

All this beating of breasts and wringing of hands over filthy rodents. I wonder how many of these simpletons give a tinker's damn over the 3,800 babies butchered every day in this country?

Should I even hazard a guess?

All Around Bad Ass
Of The Day
Dean Mendell D. Morgan, Jr

The Dean of Library Services at the University of the Incarnate Word in San Antonio, Texas is hereby declared our All Around Bad Ass of the Day.

What exactly did the good Dean and Chief Book Putter Backerer do that rates such high accolades? Simple, he canceled the library's subscription to the New York Times Wednesday to protest recent stories exposing a secret government program that monitors international financial transactions in the hunt for terrorists.

Said designated Bad Ass Morgan, "Since no one elected the New York Times to determine national security policy, the only action I know to register protest for their irresponsible action (treason?) is to withdraw support of their operations by canceling our subscription as many others are doing. If enough do, perhaps they will get the point."

Yeah, yeah, I know. Some will say that canceling a newspaper subscription is no big deal. But this guy has the spheres to come out and tell the NY Times to go straight to hell... and in the liberal world of American Academia to boot.

In my book, that makes Dean Morgan our All Around Bad Ass of the Day.

Perhaps there is hope for Catholic universities, after all.

Say Hello To My Lil' Friend!
Cerberus at 'The Gates of Hell"

This guy may not be a Catholic... but he is DEFINITELY a Caveman!

Hard hitting, tell it like it is, subtle as a napalm run. Be forewarned, some may be offended by some of the postings. So if crude humor ain't your bag, blow this blog off.

But if you would like to see the melding of Full Metal Jacket with Porky's... this is the blog for you.

Multi-Culturalism Works!
No... really... it does!

Honestly, multi-culturalism really does work. I wouldn't lie to you!

Just ask the folks in Rwanda, The Sudan, France, the former Yugoslavia, the former Ottoman Empire, the former Czechoslovakia, the former Austro-Hungarian Empire, the former pre-partition India, the former Soviet Union, and of course, the soon to be former Dominion of Canada.

Interesting Letter To The Editor In Arizona
Forwarded to me by my brother

Excellent LTTE coming out of the Southwest. I couldn't agree more with the guy who wrote it. Nice to see someone stand up to that crazy bishop in Tucson.

Changes to Mass translation
a huge milestone

Regarding the recent Associated Press article, "U.S. Catholic Bishops sign off on changes to Mass translation" on June 16, 2006, much can be said about the current state of the Roman Catholic Church, and her shepherds, the bishops.

However, that the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops have finally approved changes to the English translation of the Latin Rite Mass, to more closely reflect the Latin text, is a huge milestone.

Following the end of the Second Vatican Council (1962-1965), the Mass that had been relatively unchanged since the 6th century, and codified by Pope Pius V in 1570, was turned upside-down and left in shambles.

Changes to the "Mass of the Ages", that had been voted on by the bishops at the council, were subsequently hijacked by a liberal "Liturgical Committee", with the final version submitted to Pope Paul VI in 1969. To make the situation worse, the English translation for the new Mass was often radically different from the original Latin.

If one wants to destroy a religion, start by destroying its traditions. With that in mind, there is an old saying within the church, "Lex Orandi, Lex Credendi" (how one prays is how one believes).

The current Mass, with its uninspiring and banal English text, modern music that would make most non-Catholics cringe, and the introduction of the laity into just about every aspect of the Mass, has often reduced it to a pseudo-Protestant communion service and sing-along.

If the bishops of the Catholic Church truly want to bring the faithful back to Sunday Mass, fill our seminaries again with young, solidly orthodox men, renew belief in the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist, and evangelize the world, they need to go back to what the fathers of the council truly intended to do with the Mass, not what liberal liturgical fanatics and a weak pope did in 1969.

The Toothless Dog Barks Again
...and no one pays attention

Cardinal Alfonso Lopez Trujillo said that the canonical penalty of excommunication, which is applied to those involved in abortion, also applies to involvement in stem-cell research.

In the immortal words of Dr. Evil, "Riiiiiiiight".

By the way, the Apostolic Nuncio, Archbishop Pietro Sambi, is now saying that the giving of Holy Communion to the Butcher of Boston was "likely unintentional". Is he serious? Either the good archbishop is lying or he's monumentally stupid.

By Just One Vote
And why Catholics should be outraged

As we all know by now, the US Senate failed to pass, by a single vote, a proposal which would have let Congress ban the desecration of the flag of the United States.

Those in favor of flag burning vary from the "it's a right to free speech" crowd, to those that say that the flag is nothing more than a mere symbol.

To me and millions of others, desecrating the American flag is the moral equivalent of defecating on a photograph of someone's mother. You just don't do that.

But hey... a picture of someone's momma is nothing more than a chemically treated piece of paper, right? Isn't it my right to poop on a pic of mammy and pappy? Or at least, a pic is just a symbol, right?

But anyhow... from the Catholic perspective. We sometimes have non-Catholics ask us about the statuary in our churches. The short answer is; "we love what that statue represents". We don't "love" the statue itself. It's nothing more than a few bits of lumber and plaster thrown together to form a crucifix... chunk of concrete or marble fashioned into the image of a Saint. It's what they represent that we love.

How many Catholics would defecate on a Crucifix.... urinate on a photograph of The Holy Mother... burn a wooden statue of our Patron Saint? The answer's obvious. And the same applies to Americans and our flag.

Personally, I could care less about bunch of woven thread. But I sure do love my flag.

Vir Speluncae Catholicus
MSgt USMC (ret)

The Sodomization Of Children Continues
Trading in medical expertise for homo-activism

WARNING! The end of this posting is just so damn weird and sick, it deserves it's own warning. No foul language or anything, it's just... very, very 'bizarre' shall we say?

Interesting goings on at the Pediatric Academic Societies recent gathering and intellectual gang-bang in San Francisco (big shocker, huh?).

Keep in mind, the folks who spoke there are real life pediatricians, and are looked upon highly by many in the Medical and Social Work fields. They highlighted the American Academy of Pediatrics' support of "non-discriminating gender-neutral civil marriage," as well as the Academy's opposition to the Federal Marriage Amendment, which was described by one prominent doctor as as a "nuclear bomb" for gay and lesbian families.

In one of the more disturbing episodes of the annual meeting was when one of the presenters, Arlene Istar Lev, LCSW, CASAC, identified herself as a "lesbian currently in a same-sex, opposite-gender relationship", whatever the hell that is.

Lev emphasized that there are many ways to be boy or a girl. She noted that there are boy-girls and girl-boys. Young men can even put aside "sperm in sperm banks and when they become mothers, can use their sperm to have children."

Ewwww......

And the scarey thing? People in positions of power will take this whack-job seriously.

America Tops In National Pride, Survey Finds
Venezuela a close #2, and I think I know why

When it comes to national pride, Americans are No. 1, according to a survey of 34 countries’ patriotism.

Venezuela came in a close second in the survey, released Tuesday by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago.

So Venezuela of all places, came in second? The crack Caveman Research Team has uncovered the many reasons why....

Just so no one thinks I'm too shallow, know this - if Venezuela had any Girl Scout Leaders, brain surgeons, or social workers who worked with blind kids... whatever... who looked likes these babes, rest assured, I'd have posted their pictures, too.

But I Thought Only Rich, Old White Men
Were Republicans
But how would that explain Kerry, Kennedy and Clinton?

A growing number of Americans who are Black are officially qualifying themselves as Conservatives. Specifically, Republicans.

Michael Steele, 47, Maryland's lieutenant governor and a former international investment lawyer, is running for an open U.S. Senate seat in a heavily Democratic state.

Lynn Swann, 52, a broadcaster and member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, is trying to oust Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell.

Kenneth Blackwell, 58, a former Cincinnati mayor, diplomat, Cabinet undersecretary, state treasurer and two-time Ohio secretary of State, is up against Democratic Congressman Ted Strickland for Ohio governor

Catherine Davis, a human resources manager in Georgia will challenge Democratic Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney.

And as I've already posted, Winston-Salem City Councilman Vernon Robinson is taking on Democrat Brad Miller for US Congress.

Now if we can just get some of the White Republicans to actually ACT like Republicans! President Bush and Governor Schwarzenegger, are you listening?

Papal Nuncio Gives Communion To The Butcher Of Boston
The Cafeteria is OPENED (but was it ever really closed?)

Golly gee. Much beating of breasts and wringing of hands as to just why is it that so many lay Catholics blow off Catholic teaching.

Hmmm... lemme see if'n I can figure this one out. The Pope's representative in the United States personally gave Holy Communion to the Butcher of Boston, John Kerry... the same guy who proudly casts vote after vote after vote to ensure that millions of innocent children are tortured to death in their very own mother's womb.

Here's just a taste of the news story;

The issue of allowing pro-abortion politicians to receive Holy Communion has loomed large in the Catholic Church in the United States with a committee on the matter having been chaired by former Washington Cardinal Theodore McCarrick concluding only last week. While it was finally decided that bishops should decide for themselves on the matter, the church's canon law and the man who now serves as Pope Benedict XVI have indicated that such politicians "must" be denied communion.

Now if I may be so bold, let's take a gander at what The Catechism says about this.

2272 Formal cooperation in an abortion constitutes a grave offense. The Church attaches the canonical penalty of excommunication to this crime against human life.

"Formal cooperation". Supporting it... speaking tours in favor of it.... voting to keep it legal. Yeah, I think that would qualify as "Formal cooperation". But who am I to say?

After all, we have priests, bishops, archbishops, cardinals (and their lay lackies) here in America that go against Church teaching not only on that subject, but on another hotbutton topic, as well. Again, straight from the Catechism;

2241 The more prosperous nations are obliged, to the extent they are able, to welcome the foreigner in search of the security and the means of livelihood which he cannot find in his country of origin. Public authorities should see to it that the natural right is respected that places a guest under the protection of those who receive him.

Political authorities, for the sake of the common good for which they are responsible, may make the exercise of the right to immigrate subject to various juridical conditions, especially with regard to the immigrants' duties toward their country of adoption. Immigrants are obliged to respect with gratitude the material and spiritual heritage of the country that receives them, to obey its laws and to assist in carrying civic burdens.

The Church officially teaches that nations have the right to control their own borders. But who am I to say? I'm just your average, everyday Catholic who understands exactly what "Smoke of Satan" means.

I wonder how those clerics and their lay lackies justify their smashing of official Church teaching? Well, I have read their rationale. And tightly curled and smelly it was.

Tridentine Tabby?
What are the tell-tale signs? (or would that be tell-tail?)

H/T to Iacobus

Aside from the Tabernacle front and center... aside from the altar rail... aside from the architecture that's unmistakably Catholic, here's the one, unmistakable sign that this is a Latin Mass feline --

This cat has to good manners to execute a good Catholic genuflection vice that lazy Novus Ordo bow, or head bob, or wave, or whatever the hell they do before they enter the pew.

A Trickle Of Black Americans Joining Eastern Orthodox Church
Do they know there is a Catholic African Rite?

Interesting story out of Detroit concerning how a small but growing number of Blacks, many of them professionals, are joining Eastern Orthodox Churches.

I just wonder how many of them are aware of the Ge'ez Rite (Ethiopian) within The Catholic Church.

Thus far, there are 4 Ge'ez parishes in the United States; 1 in Washington, DC and 3 in Northern California.

What! And They Didn't Invite Me!!??
That's ok, guys. We're still friends!

Colorado conservatives gathered yesterday to smoke cigars, drink adult beverages and wield firearms, all in the name of the Constitution.

The Independence Institute's fourth annual Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms gathering lived up to its billing as the "most politically incorrect party of the year" as revelers engaged in a series of highly regulated activities without permission or apology.

Said reveler, Jon Caldara, "We're doing this to celebrate individual freedom. And to hack off the left," he added. "Whenever the left sees responsible adults having fun, they go into nanny shock."

"I Love To Tell The Story"
... and other musical abominations

H/T to Brendan the Raleigh Refugee

It was pointed out to me today some of the insipid drivel that's suppose to pass itself off as "Catholic hymns" nowadays. "Muzak" is a more descriptive word. Do Protestants even sing this crap?

"I Love To Tell The Story" - Also known as "Ode to Frankie Pentangeli". Too bad Bernie Law didn't exactly dig this jam.

"Taste and See" - At first, this was going to titled this "Pick and Choose", but the powers to be changed their minds at the last minute. I think it's still the unofficial anthem for the USCCB (US Cafeteria Catholics Bureau)

"Lover of us all" - Shouldn't this me a Mormon song? I hear it's #1 on the Polygamy Top 40.

"City of God" - Has anyone else noticed that you can sing "On Top of Spaghetti, All Covered with Cheese" to the verses of this Sesame Street inspired toe tapper?

"Here I Am, Lord" - Just in case The Almighty lost you.

"One Bread, One Body" - Is it sinful for me to sing "One Bed, Two Bodies"?

"Gather Us In (to the cookout)"

Gather us in, the beef and the chicken.
Gather us in, the pork and the lamb.
Make us to be a barbecued banquet,
Washed down with beer from a keg or a can.

Now I know how Jim Carry felt when he asked the musical question; "is it asking too much just for a little Foghat?". Sheesh.... is it asking too much for just a little 'Come Holy Ghost' or 'Immaculate Mary'?

Thanks to the Society for a Moratorium on the Music of Marty Haugen and David Haas, or SMMMHDH for short.

The Following 'Moment Of Clarity' Was Brought To You By Dymphna
And a wonderful 'Moment of Clarity' it is!

In the current "Mahoney and Brown break vow to fingerprint volunteers" argument, Dympha bestows upon us the following common sense observation;

There is a lovely woman in Virginia who's been teaching CCD in her parish for 30 years. When she was asked to get a background check and be fingerprinted she flatly refused and pointed out that it wasn't little old grannnies who were doing the molestation it was Fr. Been-dating-guys-since-the-seminary-and-everybody-knew-it-but-the-parishoners.

I hate the whole fingerprinting phenomenon. Mahoney made a big public deal out of how this would keep the kids safe, but becaue illegals trump the kids, he's backing out.

Thank you, Dymphna, for that much needed moment of clarity.

The Ecumenical Caveman
Once around the diamond

The Traditional Anglican Communion is closer to reunification with Rome, amid the implosion of US Episcopalianism.

Meanwhile, here's an interesting site on Hebrew converts to The Faith who are under the patronage and protection of Our Lady of the Miracle and St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein). Interestingly enough, practicing Jews are "liberating" themselves right out of existence.

Mahoney And Brown Squeeze Out A Decision
...and a tightly curled, steamy decision it was

H/T to Cletus Huckleberry, The official blog of right-thinking Catholics in Northeast Florida

Illegal aliens have priority over innocent children in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles and the Diocese of Orange, California.

The Roman Catholic dioceses of Los Angeles and Orange have backed away from pledges to prevent pedophiles from working with children by subjecting volunteers to fingerprint background checks, the Los Angeles Times reported Thursday.

Church leaders said they didn't want to lose illegal immigrant volunteers, who lack the legitimate government-issued photo IDs that are required for the checks.

As I've posted before, being an illegal alien is a mortal sin, and now we have 'Cardinal' Mahoney and 'Bishop' Brown being party to such.

Oh... and how many children are now at risk for RAPE due to the PC-worshipping Mahoney and Brown?

For some strange reason, the words "suffer the little children..." keep running through my mind. I also have the mental picture of angels fashioning two rather large millstones in the hereafter. Hmmm....

OK, Maybe I Won't Move To Winston-Salem
Hazleton, PA instead?

Last week the mayor of this former coal town introduced, and the City Council tentatively approved, a measure that would revoke the business licenses of companies that employ illegal immigrants; impose $1,000 fines on landlords who rent to illegal immigrants; and make English the official language of the city.

"Illegal immigrants are destroying the city," said Mayor Lou Barletta, a Republican. "I don't want them here, period."

City officials do not know how many of the new arrivals are in the United States illegally, but say they are fueling the drug trade, joining gangs and committing other crimes.

Municipal officials around the nation, frustrated at what they perceive as the federal government's inability to stem illegal immigration, have increasingly taken matters into their own hands.

In San Bernardino, Calif., voters will decide whether to adopt a measure nearly identical to the one in Hazleton. An Idaho county filed a racketeering lawsuit against agricultural companies accused of hiring illegal immigrants. In New Hampshire, a pair of police chiefs began arresting illegal immigrants for trespassing.

Some Hispanics approve of the measure, saying they are fed up with crime and graffiti. "If I was mayor, I wouldn't let anyone in who had a criminal record," said Rafael Rovira, 69, a naturalized American citizen from the Dominican Republic.

Jose Lechuga, 42, came to the United States illegally in 1982, received amnesty in 1986 and now operates a grocery store and restaurant in Hazleton. He said the mayor is "confusing illegal people with criminals."

Unfortunately, Jose is living proof why we need English as the official language... obviously Jose doesn't understand the basics of such. Hey Jose. I hate to tell you this, but people who engage in 'illegal' activities, are by definition, 'criminals'.

OPERATION: FIND THAT GAL A MAN!!
The Carolina Cannonball, that is

Here's your mission, Catholic bloggers... find that gal a man!

Or as CC herself says;

Find me a single Catholic man 30-45.

I KNOW someone who reads this has to have a brother, cousin, friend, co-worker, sixth cousin twiced removed on their wife's side... Not every man in my age group is married. I know this, I have to beleive this.

Spread the word... post this on your blog "Find the Cannonball a Man". You can start pouring in your offers to solekat205 at yahoo dot com.

After being divorced for 2 years this month, I decided I was ready to start dating again & I am imploring everyone's help.

Look at me, look how cute I am (I am the one not wearing a miter). Look how pious and devout I am standing there next to our Bishop... so obediant & faithful.

Funny, smart, orthodox , good husekeeper, lousy cook, and I love monthy python movies and sports. I am the whole package. Who wouldn't want me as their loving loyal wife?

spread the word! help a fellow Catholic out.

OK... you have your marching orders!

Saddam Made Auxiliary Bishop Of NY
"GO YANKS!!"

The former Iraqi leader announced that he would go on a hunger strike in protest over the killing of one of his lawyers by gunmen.

"He has resumed eating after skipping one meal," Lt. Kevin Curry told FOXNews.

Upon notification of this information, the vast majority of the USCCB agreed to consecrate Hussein a bishop.

According to USCCB spokes-individual-of-undetermined-gender, Brucie Sugarbritches, "Bishop Saddam has proven by his actions that he's one with the USCCB. Like us, he's made quite a noise about actually doing something... but when push came to shove, very little actually happened. Bishop Saddam will be a welcome addition to the Council".

Sugarbritches is confident that the addition of the former "Butcher of Baghdad" would placate traditional thinking Catholics. "He [Hussein] gave up ONE WHOLE MEAL! And it wasn't even Lent! That's kind of traditional... isn't it?"

Disclaimer: OK, I made some of this up. So sue me.

All Around Co-Bad Asses Of The Day
Miss Gianna Jessen and Representative Ted Harvey

A long read... but WORTH IT!

Every so often, someone has the opportunity to show to the world just how phony the Liberals are with their "we're all about making life dandelions and kittens whiskers" mantra-hypocrisy. It's even better when TWO people make it happen. This is one of those occasions.

And that's why we, the Catholic Cavemen, do hereby acknowledge Miss Gianna Jessen and Representative Ted Harvey as our All Around Co-Bad Asses of the Day.

So what did Gianna and Ted do that was so heroic? They had the pro-murder Democrats in the Colorado General Assembly squirming in their seats and uber-pissed that their 'cover was blown' by our heroes. Now we all just how oh, so caring and loving the Democrats in Colorado are. Specifically;

The Colorado General Assembly planned on honoring the 90th anniversary of Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains. Ted, being a pro-life Conservative member of the Assembly, arraigned for a certain Miss Gianna Jessen to sing the National Anthem on the day that PP was to be honored. Gianna belted it out, and had everyone on their feet applauding.

As the song concluded the speaker of the House explained that Gianna has cerebral palsy and is an activist to bring awareness to the disease. "Let us give her a hand not only for her performance today, but also for her advocacy work," he said. The chamber immediately exploded into applause — she had them all in the palm of her hand.

Ted then further explained to the Assembly that Gianna was born premature. She was given up by her mother. She was raised in foster homes. She was never suppose to walk. As Ted said;

"Two years ago, she walked into a local health club and said she wanted a private trainer. At the time her legs could not lift 30 pounds. Today she can leg press 200 pounds."

"She became so physically fit that she began running marathons to raise money and awareness for cerebral palsy. She just returned last week from England where she ran in the London Marathon. It took her more than eight-and-a-half hours to complete. They were taking down the course by the time she made it to the finish line. But she made it, nonetheless. With bloody feet and aching joints, she finished the race."

"Members would you help me recognize a modern-day hero — Gianna Jessen?"

At this point the chamber exploded into applause which lasted for 15-to-20 seconds. Gianna had touched their souls.

Ironically, Alice Madden, the majority leader and sponsor of the Planned Parenthood resolution, walked over to Gianna and congratulated her.

Now came the time for Ted to drop the hammer...

"The cause of Gianna's cerebral palsy is not because of some biological freak of nature, but rather the choice of her mother."

"You see when her biological mother was 17-years-old and 7-and-a-half months pregnant, she went to a Planned Parenthood clinic to seek a late-term abortion. The abortionist performed a saline abortion on this 17-year-old girl. This procedure requires the injection of a high concentration of saline into the mother's womb, which the fetus is then bathed in and swallows, which results in the fetus being burned to death, inside and out. Within 24 hours the results are normally an induced, still-born abortion.

"As Gianna can testify, the procedure is not always 100 percent effective. Gianna is an aborted late-term fetus who was born alive. The high concentration of saline in the womb for 24 hours resulted in a lack of oxygen to her brain and is the cause of her cerebral palsy.

"Members, today, we are going to recognize the 90th anniversary of Rocky Mountain Planned Parenthood…"

BANG! The gavel came down.

Just as I was finishing the last sentence of my speech — the climax of the morning — the speaker of the House gaveled me down and said, "Representative Harvey, I will allow you to continue your introduction, but not for the purposes of debating a measure now pending before the House."

At which point I said,

"Mr. Speaker, I understand. I just wanted to put a face to what we are celebrating today."

Silence.

Deafening silence.

Is it any wonder they're our All Around Co-Bad Asses Of The Day? Way to go, Gianna and Ted. The Cavemen got yer back.

I Want To Move To Winston-Salem!
Just so I can vote for Vernon

H/T to Former Altar Boy

See the commercial that everyone's talking about!

Here's just one example from his website;

"Robinson has cited [opponent Brad] Miller's sponsorship of both the gas tax increase and the "Foreign Homosexual Importation Act" (which would give marriage visas to the foreign homosexual lovers of gay Americans) and Miller's votes in support of open borders and amnesty for illegal aliens, homosexual marriage, a handgun ban, partial-birth abortion, burning the American flag, and taking "under God" out of the Pledge of Allegiance as examples of how Miller is out of touch with an overwhelming majority of 13th District voters. Robinson says, "Those are San Francisco values, not North Carolina values."

And in a particularlary ugly episode, NC Democratic state Supreme Court candidate Rachel Lea Hunter said of Robinson; "Like a good slave, he has returned to the plantation" . Hunter later revised her statement, calling Robinson's behavior like that of an "Uncle Tom".

Reason #3,060,761,545 To Suppress The Jesuits
Other than the usual heresy

The Dominicans were established to combat the Albigensian heresy, the Jesuits were established to fight the Protestant heresy.

Met any Albigensians lately?

Southern Fried Catholicism
Cornbread, Sweet Tea, Collard Greens... all the fixin's!

God bless my South Carolina born and bred wife, or as she calls herself, a 'Confederate-American'. My dear wife's a convert and has the fervent faith of a convert. But like she says "I never converted, I just returned to the Faith of my ancestors". Truer words were never spoken.

But anyhow, back to the point.

My wife doesn't have very much of a Southern accent. Until she gets mad. And when she gets mad, it's a slow, deliberate, ever increasingly Southern accented mad. Then there is no doubt in anyone's mind that this particular Flower of The South has thorns... and knows how to use them. The phrase "duck for cover" comes to mind.

During a recent visit to her sister's back in Charleston, my wife's exceptionally Southern Baptist brother-in-law was asking her questions about Catholicism. The Old Girl handled herself wonderfully. She had bro-in-law stumped at every turn.

Unfortunately, none of the answers my wife gave were acceptable to bro-in-law. He was steadfast in his obstinacy, and the wife was getting pretty steamed concerning said obstinacy. It all came down to bro-in-law making the comment "I just don't understand why you Catholics have to kneel so much!"

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. The Stars and Bars Mushroom Cloud made it's arrival. The exact quote my dear wife gave was (keep in mind, the accent gets thicker in direct parallel to her anger);

"When that priest raises that Consecrated Host and says "This Is Mah Body", you had bettah DROP TO YO KNEES IN REVERENCE! DO YOU UNDUH-STAYAND THAT!?

For a second there, I thought she was going to call him a Damn Yankee.

Rapist Tracking System
100% Effective!

We in America can't seem to keep track of our rapists. What's a progressive and liberal-minded society to do?

I've been hearing lot's of talk lately concerning GPS tracking devices strapped to the ankles and such for released rapists, child molesters and other such deviants. I already foresee thousand of dollars per scumbag being spent on this... not to mention the ACLU slapping lawsuit after lawsuit on the government for violating the rights of said scumbags by forcing an ankle bracelet on them.

I have the perfect solution. My tracking device for rapists will absolutely never fail. It's simply impossible to lose track of them. We will ALWAYS know where they are. As Justin Wilson, the Cajun Cook, use to say "I Gar-un-TEE!"


See! I told you!!

The USCCB, Just As Clueless As Ever
"US BISHOPS URGE CONGRESS TO GRANT ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ‘PATH TO CITIZENSHIP’"

The USCCB, you know them, don't you? They're that same bunch that recently slapped each other on the back to no end, for finally voting to propose more traditional language changes to the Mass of Paul VI (pssst, just don't remind them that they initially wanted extremely watered-down and flat out non-Catholic language added to the New Mass... until Rome gave 'em all a quick kick to the groin to snap 'em out of it).

Well, those swell guys are now urging congress to "resolve differences on immigration reform and to give the estimated 12 million illegal immigrants already in the country a path to citizenship".

Being the self-avowed swell guy that I am (I remind myself constantly)... never let it be said that I didn't do my part to help out.

Hey USCCB, I'll save all of you a whole bunch of time and effort. HERE is the answer to all your qualms, concerns and questions concerning those 12 gazillion illegals here.

Hope this helps,
Hugs and kisses all around,
VSC

All Around Bad Ass Of The Day
Professor Margaret Somerville

Liberals still scream about freedom of speech. Bravo Foxtrot Delta, right? Obviously, freedom of speech applies only to those who adhere to liberal views. Once in a great while, someone stands up to the Left and shoves their hypocrisy down their collective throats.

And that's why we, the Catholic Cavemen, do hereby acknowledge Canada's McGill University Professor Margaret Sommerville as our All Around Bad Ass of the Day.

What did Maggie do that was so heroic? She publicly told the Recreational Proctology Department And Friends at Ryerson University the truth. Specifically;

Somerville believes marriage is primarily about having children, and gay marriage conflicts with a child's right to a biological mother and father.

In an amazing show of class and grit, Professor Somerville said, "some people are hurt by some of my views, and I want to say that although I believe that I must stand by those views, I genuinely regret the hurt that that causes them"

Acknowledging she has many critics, Somerville said it's important academia operate in "a discourse of mutual respect" about unpopular views rather than succumb to the "chill of political correctness."

Professor Somerville had the proverbial spheres to stand her ground and refuse to allow the Pink Gestapo intimidate her.

Is it any wonder she's our All Around Bad Ass Of The Day? Way to go, Maggie, The Cavemen got yer back.

All Around Bad Ass Of The Day
Professor Indrek Wichman

Moslems are still pissed off over the Danish cartoons. Bravo Foxtrot Delta, right? But anyhow, we the Catholic Cavemen do hereby acknowledge Michigan State University Professor Indrek Wichman as our All Around Bad Ass of the Day.

What did Indie do that was so heroic? He publicly told the CMPMS (Crescent and Moon Piss and Moan Society) at MSU to pack their shit and haul ass. Specifically;

Dear Moslem Association: As a professor of Mechanical Engineering here at MSU I intend to protest your protest. I am offended not by cartoons, but by more mundane things like beheadings of civilians, cowardly attacks on public buildings, suicide murders, murders of Catholic priests (the latest in Turkey!), burnings of Christian churches, the continued persecution of Coptic Christians in Egypt, the imposition of Sharia law on non-Muslims, the rapes of Scandinavian girls and women (called "whores" in your culture), the murder of film directors in Holland, and the rioting and looting in Paris France.

This is what offends me, a soft-spoken person and academic, and many, many, many of my colleagues. I counsel you dissatisfied, aggressive, brutal, and uncivilized slave-trading Moslems to be very aware of this as you proceed with your infantile "protests."

If you do not like the values of the West -- see the 1st Amendment -- you are free to leave. I hope for God's sake that most of you choose that option. Please return to your ancestral homelands and build them up yourselves instead of troubling Americans.

Cordially, I. S. Wichman, Professor of Mechanical Engineering

Way to go Indie. The Cavemen got yer back.

Fast Food Catholicism?
The Caveman has PROOF!!

We've all heard of 'Cafeteria Catholicism'... but how many of us have heard of 'Fast Food Catholicism'? You know, that's the brand that's quick, cheap, easy, and greasy.

So, dear reader, for your intellectual curiosity and gentle humor, I offer the following...


St. Missed The Mark Catholic(?) Church, Wilmington, NC

St. McDaniels Farms, Right Around The Corner

Proof of What Wearing a Habit and Being Faithful to the Magesterium Will Do
Teaching Order Blessed with 1400% Growth

H/T to “The Window”

The Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist
were founded nine years ago by Cardinal O'Connor of New York. They now number 59, a growth rate of 1400 percent. They are expected to be 70 in all by 2007.

The average age of the professed Sisters is 28, and the average age of those in the novitiate is 24. Astoundingly, 173 young women attended their vocations retreat in February of this year. Mother Assumpta Long, the driving force behind the community, has a simple explanation for their success: "It all begins in the chapel. If it doesn't happen there, it's not going to happen. The most important thing is our religious life."

The Sisters were invited to Michigan by Bishop Mengeling and funded initially by pizza magnate Tom Monaghan. Trained to be teachers, the Sisters already run two schools in Ann Arbor, but soon will be sending two groups of four Sisters each to South Carolina and Arizona at the request of Bishops Baker and Olmstead.

Ahhh... So THAT'S What He Looks Like!
No longer an Internet Man of Mystery


Here's me and my pride and joy a few weeks back as we went to Petco Park to watch our beloved Saint Didacus Priests (AKA The San Diego Padres) play. Unfortunately, my wife couldn't make it, but my daughter was thrilled because she got to see Clemson grad, Khalil Greene, play. Now you know what the only Padre fans in all the Carolinas look like.

"This Is What Alcoholics Call 'A Moment Of Clarity'" -
Samuel L. Jackson's character, Jules Winnfield, in "Pulp Fiction"

My brother-in-law down in Charleston (or as they pronounce it in South Carolina -- CHAAAL-stun) pointed out the obvious that too many of us failed to realize.

To quote exactly ~ "Those damn Democrats! I'm sick of hearing them bitch about our 'invasion' of Iraq! Hell, we only got 120,000 of our boys there... and they call that an invasion? You want to know what a REAL invasion is? 13 MILLION ILLEGAL MEXICANS! THAT'S an invasion! Why don't those damn Democrats ever talk about THAT invasion?"

As Al Gore would say, they're ignoring "An Inconvenient Truth".

No... Not Even ONE!
Hmmm, I wonder why

As those of you who come to this blog regularly know, I've posted on a number of occasions concerning the fully Church approved apparition of the Holy Mother to Sister Agnes Sasagawa in Akita, Japan in 1973.

Anyhow, I searched and searched to see if there was even ONE Catholic institution in the United States dedicated to Our Lady of Akita. Here's what I found;

Our Lady of Fatima - 89
Our Lady of Guadalupe - 139
Our Lady of Lourdes - 163

But not ONE SINGLE "Our Lady of Akita" in the United States. Or Canada, or the UK, or Australia, or New Zealand, or Ireland. Could if possibly be because Our Lady warned;

"The work of the devil will infiltrate even into the Church... The Church will be full of those who accept compromises and the demon will press many priests and consecrated souls to leave the service of the Lord."

In all fairness, I did find ONE church in the entire world that's dedicated to Our Lady of Akita. Are you ready for a shocker? It's in Akita, Japan.

Hmmm... I wonder why there aren't more parishes dedicated to her?

First Rate Satire!
Survivor Liturgy Island - Part One

H/T to Dymphna

Swing on over to the Ox Files. Hilarious stuff! Don't forget to check out the Mozart Conspiracy

"Heresy Everywhere"
Now he thinks he's a songwriter

Sung to the tune of Johnny Cash's "I've Been Everywhere".

Due to the rapid fire lyrics, it might be hard to match them with the midi player. But have fun anyhow! Click here for midi player . Don't try to rush the lyrics... nice and slow. Enjoy!


I was seeking admission to the Notre Flame seminary
And in flittered the Vocations Director just like some swiveled-hip gay fairy
"If you seek admission here, I'm the man who can get it done...
But first I have to run it by a pack of tattooed lesbian nuns"
Then he took a huge toke off his bong
And asked if I thought Catholic teaching was all wrong
I said, "listen, Mac... what do you think? I'm wearing my sister's thong"

Heresy everywhere, man
Heresy everywhere, man
Speakin' Latin's rare, man
Comin' out of their Lair, man
Please don't listen to the Caveman
Heresy everywhere

I've preached
Heresy in Yamassee
Apostasy in Santee
Blasphemy in Chicopee
USCCB
Smoke of Satan out in Dayton
Loss of your salvation
Damnation you're facin'
Can you feel your heart racin'?
Let's join the Freemasons!

Heresy everywhere, man
Heresy everywhere, man
Speakin' Latin's rare, man
Comin' out of their Lair, man
Please don't listen to the Caveman
Heresy everywhere

I'm a big damn phony baloney
I work for Roger Mahoney
Something new? Woo-Hoo!
It's the Spirit of Vatican II
Just like Bernardin
You decide what is 'sin'
Prots thought he was super-duper
A modern day Martin Luther

Heresy everywhere, man
Heresy everywhere, man
Speakin' Latin's rare, man
Comin' out of their Lair, man
Please don't listen to the Caveman
Heresy everywhere

I hate Bishop Finn
If you kneel, it's a sin
Oh, baby can't ya see
I really love "The O.C."
I know that I hafta pass
on that old fashioned Latin Mass
I'm on my way to your town
To keep the Mass watered-down

Heresy everywhere, man
Heresy everywhere, man
Speakin' Latin's rare, man
Comin' out of their Lair, man
Please don't listen to the Caveman
Heresy everywhere

I Always Knew The Pope Could Kick The Crap Out Of G.I. Joe's Sorry Ass
Just in time for Father's Day!

His Hardness, God's Mortal Messenger

Complete with Holy Cross kali stick and 'Meek and Mild' Walther PPK handgun
I think I'll also buy one of the "Jihad" action figures just so I can tape firecrackers on him and blow him into a million pieces. That must be what they mean by 'Religion of Piece'.

Hey... art imitates life.

Smoke Of Satan Example #197,852,090,754
When it's OK to tell a bishop to go pound sand...

Not long ago I posted of the whacky goings on in the Roman Protestant Diocese of Orange, California. Remember, that's the place honcho'ed by Presider Todd "The Wad" Brown. He's the one who authorized the edict that kneeling during Mass is a mortal sin.

I just thought that some of might find these cartoons a nice way to keep things in perspective and thought provoking.

Enjoy...

Are You Sure That Wasn't From The Archdiocese of Los Angeles?
Don't believe the Ecumenical lie

For those knee-deep in the, as Anna Haycraft called it, "Protestantised happy-clappy stuff", I offer up to you some examples of how our "separated brothers and sisters" look upon our Church and Holy Pontiff(s). (Shhhhhh..... don't tell Father Limpwrist or Sister Mary Polyester or Bishop Grouphug!)

The "Statement on the Antichrist" was adopted by the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod at its convention in Saginaw, Michigan, in 1959, without a dissenting vote.

Therefore, even though the bishop of Rome had the primacy by divine right, yet since he defends godless services and doctrine conflicting with the Gospel, obedience is not due him; yea, it is necessary to resist him as Antichrist. The errors of the Pope are manifest and not trifling.

Therefore on the basis of a renewed study of the pertinent Scriptures we reaffirm the statement of the Lutheran Confessions, that “the Pope is the very Antichrist” (cf. Section II), especially since he anathematizes the doctrine of the justification by faith alone and sets himself up as the infallible head of the Church.

We thereby affirm that we identify this “Antichrist” with the Papacy as it is known to us today, which shall, as 2 Thessalonians 2:8 states, continue to the end of time, whatever form or guise it may take.

Well, I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy. How 'bout you? But the WELS isn't the only one to fail to reach out in a spirit of huggy-touchy ecumenism. *pout*

The so-called "Heidelberg Catechism" is utilized as a preaching and teaching tool by almost 800 various Protestant sects, to include the Presbyterian Church (USA), the Reformed Baptists, the United Church of Canada, the Christian Reformed Church, etc, etc, Fracture-ius Maximus...

Oh, I almost forgot... the Heidelberg Catechism is 1563 Protestant doctrine declaring the Catholic Mass "a condemnable idolatry". Isn't that special?

But then again, I shouldn't be so hard on Protestants. We can find so-called "Catholic clerics" who adhere to the same beliefs.

Anyhow, if one desires to be a Protestant, fine. Be the best Protestant you can be. Adhere to Sola Scriptura, Sola Fide, deny papal authority, etc, etc. But if one desires to be a Catholic.... damn it, BE A CATHOLIC! What's so hard about that?

Oh, by the way, don't think for a minute that this "Jesus was married" crap started with Dan Brown and his 'Da Vinci Hoax". The Mormons have been spewing forth that garbage for over a hundred years. And no... I'm not lumping the Mormons in with Protestants. At least the Protestants believe in the Trinitarian God. Mormons aren't even Christians. Their own so-called 'theology' bears that out.

'Nuff said.

"Gay Pride Week" In Boston
What it's really all about

WARNING: This is REALLY disgusting. The site I linked to has censored nothing. This is NOT for the kids. What I'm posting is mild (and self-censored), but still could be offensive to many.

A few days back I posted about the two Democrat candidates for governor of Massachusetts who both are actively stumping for the homo-lesbian-bi-sexual-transgendered-necropheliac-bestiality-incest vote, both made an appearance at the Boston "Gay Pride Week" orgy.

MassResistance.com has the lowdown on the goings on that the MSM seemed to have conveniently failed to tell the rest of the world about.

The first thing you'll see is the homo-rainbow flag flying over Boston's City Hall. And that was the tamest of all. You'll be treated to the parade emcee (a transvestite who calls itself Hedda Lettuce) screech into the microphone (that could be heard for blocks) such classy things such as;

"Oh, last year with the gays it was Chihuahuas, Chihuahuas were all the rage. This year, people, it's Filipino babies, and you know why? Because they're beige, and they go with everything."

[to the tune of the Dixie Chicks' "Wide Open Spaces"] "Done crystal meth since he was a child. He could f*** and f*** for days, that boy was wild. But his b*** hole was large and wide. You could stick both hands in and clap [claps twice] clap inside, I'm tired of- everybody- wide open spaces."

"How many men in the audience, and this can go for the lesbians too, have a big d***? Oh, that's wonderful, I like men with big d****, I just don't like the men they're attached to most of the time...."

What a class act. But then it got even worse. We see the handouts given to the crowd (to include children). Here's a couple of examples;

A "female condom" with detailed instructions handed out with it describing how to use it for anal sex. Packets of anal lube cream were apparently a popular item.

But remember folks, homosexuality is just an "alternate... normal lifestyle", right?

And a big thank you very much to Macy's Department Store, Verizon, Delta Airlines, Mayor Thomas Menino, and all the other supporters of Queer Pride Week.

Our Lady Of Akita Is SCREAMING To Us
"If sins increase in number and gravity, there will be no longer pardon for them"

In what I have dubbed the Apparition that no one wants to talk about, the Church approved vision of The Holy Mother to Sister Agnes Sasagawa in Akita, Japan in 1973 warns "The priests who venerate me will be scorned and opposed by their confreres (other priests)".

Catholic Citizens has a fascinating article on the persecution of priests by their confreres. But what are they being persecuted for? Simple... exposing the homosexual Lavender Mafia cockroaches to the light of day.

Here's some of the article;

The true doctors [who want to cure the disease from within] are faithful priests who love the Church and want to purify her. Instead of thanking their loyal sons, bad bishops persecute and vilify them. Meanwhile the quacks and charlatans flourish.

How many ways do bad bishops punish good priests? Take your pick: exile, silencing, mandatory evaluation at pseudo-psychiatric facilities like St. Luke's, frequent reassignment, making them permanent parochial vicars with no hope of becoming pastors, marginalization, driving them out (to other dioceses or the military vicariate), whispering campaigns that designate them "mentally unstable" or "unfit for ministry," etc. The ultimate punishment, the bishop's sword of Damocles, so to speak, is suspension. It hangs over the head of a good priest who knows his "spiritual father" will use it. How many orthodox priests hear variations of the threat, "You have no idea what I can do to you!" But the good priests do know. They've seen the sword fall on their brothers.

Recently a priest in Florida, Fr. John Pasquini, e-mailed me asking for help. He's in trouble because he wrote to a local newspaper criticizing homosexuality in the Episcopal Church. But I'll let him tell the story in his own words. "I was assigned as a parochial vicar at St. Juliana's Church in West Palm Beach when the episcopalian Bishops voted to consecrate an openly homosexual bishop and approve the blessing of gay marriages. I wrote an editorial arguing that this was contrary to 2000 years of Christianity, that homosexual actions are contrary to God's law, Scripture, natural law and the complimentarity of the sexes. Shortly after my editorial, the Episcopalian bishop for the region of Florida wrote a letter to the chancery arguing that my statements were harmful to ecumenism.

Stunned yet? Well, (as the man use to say) you ain't seen nothin' yet. Imagine te worst and prepare to be disgusted. Click on the link above to read the rest of this priest's silent martyrdom.

You know... now that I think about it, there are a couple of (faithful to Catholic teaching) priests in this Deanery who have been "reassigned" to the boondocks recently. Hmmmm......

Keep Things In Perspective
We've faced worse times before

We just reached a terrible milestone - 3 years and 3 1/2 months after the start of Operation Iraqi Freedom, our nation just suffered it's 2,500th combat death. Each and every one of these deaths are tragic, to be sure.

But like I recently posted, even the terrorists as much to admitted they're losing. And like the title of this posting says... keep things in perspective.

Just one suggestion ~ take a good hard look at the casualty totals and the time frames noted below.

Iraq (War on Terrorism) - 2,500 US Servicemen dead in 1,197 days

In no particular order ---

Chosin Reservoir (Korean War) - 2,692 Allied dead in 18 days

Iwo Jima (World War II) - 6,821 Marines dead in 36 days

Gettysburg (War Between The States) - Both Union and Confederate - 3,608 dead in 3 days

Tarawa (World War II) - 1,009 Marines dead in 3 days

Normandy (World War II) - 71,700 Allied dead in 79 days

Antietam - (War Between The States) - Both Union and Confederate - 3,654 dead in a matter of hours

Belleau Wood (World War I) - 1,811 Marines and soldiers dead in 26 days

Okinawa (World War II) - 12,500 Marines, sailors and soldiers dead in 81 days

I could give a tinkers damn less what the MSM says... we're winning! Stay the course, defeat Islamo-Fascism. Don't let the Battles of Tours, Vienna and Lepanto be in vain.

Smoke Of Satan Example #197,852,090,753
I'll bet he never saw any 'priests' raping Altar Boys, either

What the hell is going on in Tucson? Bishop Kicanas just looks the other way while pro-abortion and pro-homosexuals use Catholic facilities to advocate their agendas.

Here's just a taste of the article;

In June 2004, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops forbade the granting of speaking platforms or the giving of honors to “those who act in defiance of fundamental moral principles which ‘would suggest support for their actions’ according to the Statement “Catholics in Political Life” adopted by the Bishops at their semi-annual meeting that year. “In an increasing amount of smokescreen activism reported by the press, Bishop Kicanas has not only remained outrageously inactive when obligated to enforce this USCCB norm in his Diocese, but has heaped lavish praise upon those who notoriously defy fundamental moral principles in contradiction with both Vatican and USCCB norms – and not only in matters concerning abortion” says Kelly Copeland, Director of the Holy Family Society of Tucson.

“In open departure from official doctrine, Bishop Kicanas has preached that the fight against poverty -- not abortion as Pope John Paul II taught -- as “first and foremost” among moral duties; honored radical pro-homosexual marriage activists such as Rep. Jim Kolbe with glowing and fond words; spoken against Vatican policy encouraging intervention by public authority in regulating Internet content; and sided with migrants who break the law to gain access into this country against the explicit teaching of the Catechism, which holds that a nation has the sovereign right to set conditions for legal entry.”

Take A Wild Guess Where This Guy Use To Work, And Who He Influenced
I dare you...

Interesting article from the Louisville, KY Courier-Journal, Here's a taste;

For myself, I find married life such an enriching experience that I would want to share it with as many couples as possible, regardless of their sexual orientation. Gay and lesbian marriages pose no threat to my marriage. Indeed, the depth and fidelity of some homosexual unions are a magnificent inspiration for both me and my wife. That is why I hope the bishops will reconsider their destructive stance on this matter.

The author of the above is none other than "Catholic" Vincent Giegerich, who taught philosophy at the supposedly Catholic Bellarmine University, and is a former Passionist priest (married to an ex-nun). He must be someone of some importance in the Louisville, KY area. He has access to the ink at the The Courier-Journal.

Guess What? We're Winning In Iraq
But CNN, ABC, NBC, and CBS won't tell you that (or at best, they'll glaze over it)

In what's been described as a "huge treasure" of documents found in Zarqawi's hideout following his death, Coalition forces have carried out 452 (that's right four HUNDRED and fifty two) raids across Iraq using information gained from the attack that killed terrorist leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, and 104 insurgents were killed during those actions. But CNN, ABC, NBC, and CBS won't tell you that (or at best, they'll glaze over it).

According to a translation of the document, insurgents were being weakened by operations against them and by their failure to attract recruits. To give new impetus to the insurgency, they would have to change tactics, it added. But CNN, ABC, NBC, and CBS won't tell you that (or at best, they'll glaze over it).

"Generally speaking and despite the gloomy present situation, we find that the best solution in order to get out of this crisis is to involve the U.S. forces in waging a war against another country or any hostile groups," the document said. "We mean specifically attempting to escalate the tension between America and Iran, and American and the Shiite in Iraq". But CNN, ABC, NBC, and CBS won't tell you that (or at best, they'll glaze over it).

The captured documents said the insurgency was being hurt by, among other things, the U.S. military's program to train Iraqi security forces, massive arrests and seizures of weapons, tightening the militants' financial outlets, and creating divisions within its ranks. But CNN, ABC, NBC, and CBS won't tell you that (or at best, they'll glaze over it).

I don't understand all this... according to CNN, ABC, NBC, and CBS... we're losing, right?

I Hate Gyno-TV
WE, Lifetime, anything with Rosie O'Donnell

My wife's crazy for those chick-channels. If I have to walk into the house after a hard day's work and be greeted by some estrogen driven made-for-TV-movie with an insipid title.... I think I'm gonna go Postal.

And speaking of titles, why do they all have titles like;

Eternally For Now

Love's Broken Promise

Diagnosis: DANGER!

The Final Kiss Before Goodbye Into The Night

She Just Wanted To Be Held

Restraining Order Of Love

My Daughter's Wife: A Tale Of Forbidden Love

Love In A Backpack

Child Of Violence, Child Of Love

I Love My Dead Gay Son

Spoonss

Love Never Means You Have To Tell Him About Your Genital Herpes

Let's cut through the crap... all these damn movies revolve around the following main themes: a hatred of men, female-specific illnesses, a hatred of men, rape, a hatred of men, long lost children (almost always daughters), a hatred of men, and lastly, a hatred of men.

AAARH! I can't take it anymore!! *storming out of the room* I'M GONNA WATCH RESERVOIR DOGS!!

Yer A Bum, Rock... A BUM!!
Who am I to argue with Dymphna?

One of the blogs I go to frequently, Dympha's Road, has an absolutely 1st rate posting titled; Men and women are different ---example #568,127. Short, sweet, to the point. And a hilarious ending.

Check it out, you'll be glad you did. By the way, I may not know Rocky... but I know where he's comin' from.

If I Was On The Outside Looking In
Put yourself there for just a sec or two...

As I cruised through the various Catholic news services I check every day, I noticed a few headlines that screamed out at me. Now before anyone lectures me about nit-picking and going out of my way to actually find horrible articles, just let me say this... that thought crossed my mind as well.

So in all sincerity and honesty, know that I really do see something horribly wrong here. For just a moment or two, place yourself on the outside of Catholicism and look in. What would YOU think?

The first offering, this tasty tid-bit from India concerning the Eastern Rite Syro-Malabar Catholics. One of the priests there is bemoaning how the outwardly devout Catholics of India have actually swallowed the government line that population control (abortion) is a virtue. I just have to ask... haven't the priests there been teaching any moral absolutes? When THIS MANY Catholics openly embrace abortion, I just have to wonder where the priests have been.

Then from the uber-liberal Archdiocese of Milan, Italy, we read all about the Church of the Future, complete with video installations, electronic music, and abstract art. With Lenten readings from Oscar Wilde and Jack Kerouac. With the pulpit given over to nonbelievers. All this in the great diocese whose patrons are Saint Ambrose and Saint Charles Borromeo. Say it with me everyone --- CULT OF MAN.

Then oddly enough, once again from Northern Italy, a none too subtle slap at the Traditional Latin Mass. These simpletons illuminate us with the following; Having the priest face east, usually away from the people, when celebrating Mass is not a magic way to ensure that both the priest and the congregation focus on Jesus, said participants at a conference in northern Italy. Whoever said that the priest facing east was "magic"? But silly me, the priest facing east (and not to mention God in the tabernacle) simply smacks of Pre-Vatican II Catholicism. Can't have any of that, now can we?

Oh, and these same individuals tell us "...and liturgical experts from Orthodox, Anglican and Protestant churches". Ummm, I hate to point out the obvious to these folks, but Anglicans ARE Protestants. The Church declared that, oh... a few hundred years ago, right?

Lastly, this wonderful tale from Spain. Turns out that Spain’s Ministry of Employment and Social Affairs has provided a subsidy of €17,000 for a conference organized by homosexual associations that will take place on the eve of Pope Benedict’s visit next month. What happened to The Church that was once ruled by 'Their Most Catholic Majesties, Ferdinan and Ysabella'?

OK, with all that said... if I was on the outside looking in, I'd say that I see many things. First off, the Catholic Church is it's own worst enemy. Where Catholicism was once a powerhouse, it's now a sick, irrelevant, doddering old man. I'd also get the distinct impression that the fox is in the hen house. And if'n someone doesn't do something... and damn quick... this thing called "The Catholic Church" will be dumped into the dust bin of long forgotten movements that imploded upon themselves.

I remember that I posted some info about a certain Anna Haycraft, may she rest in peace, a few months back. Her criticism of the Second Vatican Council and it's subsequent "fruits" are just as thought provoking (and hilarious) as anything that good ol' Gilbert ever wrote. Just a few examples:

She declared that the Second Vatican Council had unleashed a "tide of sewage", and lashed out at guitars and ecumenical priests - all the "Protestantised happy-clappy stuff" which would end in the "triumph of Chaos and old night".

"In place of the old rigours we have sentimentality, confusion, untruth, meaningless talk of renewal and improvement, and sharing and caring where once these were taken for granted and practised in a specifically and recognisably Catholic fashion."

"Now the Church has lost its head, priests feel free to say what they think themselves, and they don't have any thoughts at all except for some rubbish about the brotherhood of man. They seem to regard Our Lord as a sort of beaten egg to bind us all together."

On her on-going battle with ultra-liberal Liverpool Archbishop Derek Worlock (and this applies to every other cleric in Western Europe and North America) - "But look what he did for the ecumenical movement," his friends cry. "And look what he did to the Church," we respond....Ecumenism seems to mean taking something pure and strong, mixing it up with something weak and polluted, slashing it about, watching the churches empty and then congratulating yourself on your progress."

How she viewed The Church since Vatican II (and my personal favorite) - "It is as though one's revered, dignified and darling old mother had slapped on a mini-skirt and fishnet tights and started ogling strangers. A kind of menopausal madness, a sudden yearning to be attractive to all. It is tragic and hilarious and awfully embarrassing. And of course, those who knew her before feel a great sense of betrayal and can't bring themselves to go and see her any more."

Pray hard for us, Anna... we need all the help we can get.

Loose Lips Sink Ships
... and can get your ass vaporized

Iranian Foreign Minister Sheik Manouchehr Mottaki Yerbouti (yes, HIM again!) just screwed up royally... and on TV no less.

While being interviewed on Iranian television, Yerbouti said "We emphasize the peaceful nature of our nuclear weapons... I mean... of our nuclear power plant, and nuclear energy and activities."

Oops.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Why does a nation that has 5 cent a gallon gasoline need a nuclear reactor? The phrase 'weapons grade' keeps coming to mind.

Don't Let The Facts Get In The Way
... and other Liberal commandments

By now, we've all heard of the proprietor of Geno's Philly Cheesesteaks placing a sign in his store window stating; "This Is AMERICA: WHEN ORDERING 'SPEAK ENGLISH'".

An op-ed writer up in Philly... a certain Mary Shaw... has labeled Geno's owner Joseph Vento, an "embarrassment" and anti-immigrant. Never mind the fact that Vento was quoted saying "they don't know how lucky they are. All we're asking them to do is learn the English language, we're out to help these people, but they've got to help themselves, too."

Strike one Mr. Vento. You just violated a Liberal commandment... expect individual responsibility. Silly you.

Then Madame Shaw lights further in our hero. "But now the Philadelphia Commission on Human Relations has filed a complaint, indicating that Geno's message is so unwelcoming, it may actually violate a Philadelphia civil rights / fair practices ordinance."

"Unwelcoming"? Hmmm... it's been reported that "Vento said his staff is glad to help non-native speakers order in English and has never turned someone away because of a language barrier". How can you be unwelcoming, and simultaneously NEVER turn someone away?

Also, it was reported that "When a non-English speaking customer showed up at the window a short time later, a clerk patiently coached him through the process. Eventually, both said 'cheesesteak'".

Nonetheless. Strike two, Mr. Vento. You just violated another Liberal commandment... you and your staff assisted others simply to benefit ALL of society. Silly you.

Shaw also said "Yo, Geno's: Philadelphia is supposed to be the City of Brotherly Love, not the City of Xenophobic Bigotry." as well as "On one hand, I feel that it might be his First Amendment right to hang that disturbing sign in his store. And I hope that it costs him millions of dollars in lost business."

Shaw illustrates beautifully the true mindset of Liberalism;

1. If liberals have nothing to back up their argument... then they resort to personal attacks.

2. Constitutional rights are great, but only if you agree with liberals.

3. If you dare disagree with liberals, may ruin befall you.

As far as Shaw's "xenophobic bigotry" crack goes, too bad she didn't bother to check that Mr. Vento's grandparents learned English after immigrating from Sicily in the 1920's. And learn they did. But by Shaw's own logic, Vento wouldn't even serve his own grandparents... or the thousands of other non-native born that he obviously HAS SERVED.

But then again, never let facts get in the way when arguing with a liberal. It only confuses and ultimately pisses 'em off. But none of that matters. Strike three for the owner of Geno's.

By the way, Mary Shaw is the Philadelphia Area Coordinator for Amnesty International. Psst, hey Mary... shouldn't you be out raising money for those misunderstood boys up in Canada who wanted to cut the Prime Ministers head off and kill thousands of people?

Oh, and Mr. Joseph Vento... any chance you deliver to North Carolina? I like mine "wid".

I've Heard Of The "Dumbing Down Of America"
... but this is ridiculous

Extreme fake-over, Sen Joe Biden recently stated in an interview concerning the possibility of civil war in Iraq; "...and all the kings horses and all the kings men will not be able to put Iraq back together again.''

You gotta be yankin' me. THIS is how a United States Senator speaks to the public? Does he really think that we're all so stupid, that the only way he can relate his thoughts to us is for him to break it down to the nursery rhyme level? Duuuuuuuuh... I tink so!

Gimme a break, Biden.

I guess when asked about his support for further NASA funding, will this doofus regale us with "Hey diddle, diddle. The cat and the fiddle. There's no way we're going back to the moon'?

But seriously, this is the same guy who said (concerning when life begins) "I'm prepared as a Catholic to say its the moment of conception, but I'm not prepared to enforce that on the rest of the world. What we should be talking more about is the culture of life. We Democrats have found ourselves in a position as party, where we appear to be supportive of abortion. Who the hell is supportive of abortion?"

Ummm, Mr. Senator... YOU ARE, you dumb son of a bitch! In case you've forgotten, you've advocated the wholesale slaughter of the unborn for decades.

With "Catholics" like Biden, who needs Orwellian doublespeak baby killers?