Friday, June 23, 2006

Saddam Made Auxiliary Bishop Of NY
"GO YANKS!!"

The former Iraqi leader announced that he would go on a hunger strike in protest over the killing of one of his lawyers by gunmen.

"He has resumed eating after skipping one meal," Lt. Kevin Curry told FOXNews.

Upon notification of this information, the vast majority of the USCCB agreed to consecrate Hussein a bishop.

According to USCCB spokes-individual-of-undetermined-gender, Brucie Sugarbritches, "Bishop Saddam has proven by his actions that he's one with the USCCB. Like us, he's made quite a noise about actually doing something... but when push came to shove, very little actually happened. Bishop Saddam will be a welcome addition to the Council".

Sugarbritches is confident that the addition of the former "Butcher of Baghdad" would placate traditional thinking Catholics. "He [Hussein] gave up ONE WHOLE MEAL! And it wasn't even Lent! That's kind of traditional... isn't it?"

Disclaimer: OK, I made some of this up. So sue me.

10 Comments:

Blogger DigiHairshirt said...

ARRRGGHHHHHHHH!!!

Caveman!

How DARE you sully the New York Yankees by placing a hat on top the head of Saddam Hussein!!!!

Apologize and retract! IMMEDIATELY!!!!

Don't make me go South Bronx on yo' a**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yours in Christ.
The Digital Hairshirt

P.S. - I'll get every good Catholic Mick at St. Brendan's, alongside their fiery Puerto Rican bretheran, to make their way down to whatever God-forsaken Carolina you live in to avenge Joe Torre!!!!

11:07 PM  
Blogger Screwtape said...

Sister Lulu:

Are you nuts!

Joe Torre will be proud and honored to have his hat worn by a Bishop of the USCCB.

We haven't had a Moslem bishop since Wojtyla took his trek down the primrose path.

I don't know how Damsad Hussein will stand up when it comes to worshiping with Jews, American Indians, and pagan snake worshipers. And I'm sure he will draw the line when it comes to genuflecting before homosodomites and lesbians. You can't have everything at all times.

I doubt he'll cavil at bare boobs above the ambo.

He might even restore some semblance of religious fervor to that vestigial assembly.

Congratulations to VSC The Great for coming up with the idea.

11:37 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Don't make me go South Bronx on yo' a**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bring it on, girlfriend!

5:06 AM  
Blogger DigiHairshirt said...

I will, asshole - watch my blog. ;-)

5:40 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

I will, asshole - watch my blog. ;-)

Interesting choice of words... and ever so Catholic ;-)

I wonder... do you speak like this in front of the kids you volunteer with? ;-)

6:01 PM  
Blogger Screwtape said...

William F. Buckley once said of feminist Germaine Greer that she had a "Naugahyde mouth."

Fits Digi to a "T".

A Catholic clone of Germaine Greer, that's all we need!

Maybe if we all pitch in and buy her a still, she'll go back to hills of the Ozarks.

Surely, we're dealing here with a Novus Ordure twit (ooooh, I almost misspelled that!).

6:48 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Now, now Sam! No personal attacks. I'll allow Digi's character (or lack thereof) shine through on it's own ;-)

7:43 PM  
Blogger Screwtape said...

What! Me Worry?

"Naugahyde mouth" is but a description.

As for the last sentence, you will please take note how I went out of my way to avoid the obvious.

I shall receive your praise with all due humility.

12:29 AM  
Blogger DigiHairshirt said...

Caveman, no, I don't use the term asshole in front of the children I teach, of course.

Do you tell your wife's bridge club that "some guy sloshing his penis around in another guy's feces filled colon" is wrong? Or do you judge the audience and use appropriate language?

You were in the Corps - I know you've heard worse.

Go read my blog. I suspect you'll only say I opened a can of whup-ass when it's something you agree with . . . but not this time.

3:08 AM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Caveman, no, I don't use the term asshole in front of the children I teach, of course.

Ahhh... you just go to other peoples blogs and refer to them as such. Now I see!


Do you tell your wife's bridge club that "some guy sloshing his penis around in another guy's feces filled colon" is wrong? Or do you judge the audience and use appropriate language?

Hmm... medically correct verbiage offends you? Shocking!


You were in the Corps - I know you've heard worse.

Sure I did... among the boys. Language like that come from the mouths of ladies. Broads -- yes. Ladies -- never.


Go read my blog. I suspect you'll only say I opened a can of whup-ass when it's something you agree with . . . but not this time.

I have. It's pretty much the transparent tirade I expected. I'm not impressed. Your can of whup-ass is flat. I suggest you contact the manufacturer for a refund.

8:03 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home