Rambunctious muslim Ute Planned On Cutting Off Canadian PM's Noggin
Did you say "Ute"?

You heard it right... those 17 little scamps from The Great White North had one of their more unruly playmates from the He-Man Infidel Haters Club, plan on kidnapping Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, and then beheading him. Those little rascals!

Lawyers for the He-Man Infidel Haters Club complained their clients were being kept in isolation in jail and were barred from seeing family members or praying as a group. "We'd like to be able to facilitate that religious freedom that they're entitled to," said Donald McLeod, noted scumbag and attorney for one of the accused, undoubtedly named mohammed.

Muslims make up some 2 percent of Canada's population of 33 million, and leaders fear the arrests will spark attacks on their community. But as of yet, none of these same 'leaders' have really said a damn word about 17 of their own wanting to kill thousands upon thousands of Canadians.

But knowing the uber-liberal Canadian Judicial System, 'Human Rights Tribunals' and all, I foresee the proceedings going something like this;

Judge: Now you boys know why you're here, right?
He-Man Infidel Haters Club: (Indignantly) Yes, you Western pig, we know why were here!

Judge: Do you boys know that what you did was wrong?
He-Man Infidel Haters Club: (Upon advice from their lawyers, they say...) Yes, you Western pig, we know it was wrong (fingers secretly crossed, again, upon advice from their lawyers)

Judge: (Chuckling) Oh, I just can't stay mad at ya! Run along you little scallywags. And no more of your tomfoolery, mind you!
He-Man Infidel Haters Club: (Whispering among themselves) That dip-shit's the first one we carve up when we get the hell outta here.