GUMBY ALERT!!
His most shocking sermon yet...

Winner of the Sesame Street's "The Count" Look-A-Like Contest, pseudo-Catholic bishop Tommy Gumbleton of Detroit has given The Holy Inquisition all the kindling wood it needs to eliminate Gumby's particular brand of heresy. Keep in mind, this was his CHRISTMAS sermon .

Discussing the ongoing War on Christmas, here are just some of the gems that The Gumbinator has spewn forth...

How do you suppose the first Christian community would have reacted to this kind of a controversy? They would not even been able to think of such a thing, because the first Christian community didn't celebrate Christmas.

Oh... and it just got better from there. Gumby essentially "preached" how Christmas wasn't even celebrated in the Early Church. How the hell does HE KNOW?!

The second most important Holy Day in The Church's liturgical calendar, and Goombaton essentially blows it off as if Christmas is nothing more than a minor Feast Day for some obscure monk from 9th century Lower Slobovia.

The first part of his sermon was simply disgusting. I didn't think it could get any worse... then I read the second half. I guess pooh-poohing Christmas wasn't bad enough. Comrade Gumbelovich decided to launch an attack on America.

What does our Congress do? They pass a budget where they eliminate money to pay heating costs for the poor. They eliminate health care money for the poor. They eliminate education assistance for the poor. They pass a budget that is a disgrace! If you try to follow the way of Jesus it's a complete contradiction.

Can someone who lives in the Detroit area please swing by His Eccentricy hacienda and possibly snap a photo of exactly what his residency looks like? I'd be willing to bet that it's a rather opulent kinda place. And while you're at it... fill us in on what kind of car he tools around in. Geo Metro... Kia... Ford Escort? NOT!!

And our own little Statue of Liberty even has time to weigh in on illegal immigration (the key word here is "illegal")

I was thinking, too, of the immigration bill that was passed. If Jesus wanted to enter our country he couldn't do it as an immigrant or refugee, because we want to build a wall to keep people out even though we're a nation of immigrants.

Uhhh.... nooooo.... Jesus will descend upon the clouds with a Host of Angels surrounding Him. But hey, mean ol' America must HATE JESUS because we are desirous of protecting our borders. The way Chicken Gumbo can manipulate words is certainly something to marvel at.

Had enough? No way, baby! It's time for the Piece of Resistance (sorry, I can't spell in French).

Jesus was always inclusive, but in our church we exclude. We don't want gay men to be priests. How evil is that? We don't welcome gay and lesbian people into our community and allow them to be fully active members. We in our church don't give full possibilities to women to serve in every way within our church.

Whooooooa. As they say on the loading docks, back the truck up! Did Gumberiffic just refer to Holy Mother The Church... The Bride of Christ... as EVIL?? Did he just call for homosexual priests? Did he just call for both normal and lesbo women to be priests? Now I'm just a simple retired Master Sergeant of Marines... all I have is a double major Bachelors degree. But I think I'm smart enough to realize that this guy is going WAY beyond the pale. Hey Gumby, turn around.... see that line you just stepped over?

Now I know for a fact that His Holiness likes to swing by The Lair on a semi-regular basis, so when he does, I just gotta let him know; "Benny... goomba... you and me, we're tight, right? Paisan, do something about this strunzo, would ya Big Daddy? Thanks heaps.

Your pal,
The Caveman

His Excellency gives the Final Blessing

Five Weird Habits
Of highly defective people

Tom over at Boomer Times just tagged my concerning my strange ways. Hmmm... name 5 weird habits, 'eh?

1. I have the uncontrollable urge to chase after Fire Trucks.

2. I walk in a circle eight times on the mattress before I go to sleep.

3. I like hanging my head out of the passenger side window.

4. I can hear things that you mere humans can't.

5. (Hmmmm.... should I even bring up the whole Thirst and the Toilet Bowl connection? Nahhh....)

I hereby tag.... EVERYONE WHO READS THIS!

Just Something To Think About
Give this some serious consideration

When do you think this may have happened? "After the Consecration comes the Communion. Many of the congregation have not been to Confession and many have not fasted, not even from alcohol. They approach the Communion table with the others. X X X X X distributed the hosts and offers the chalice. The communicants receive the consecrated bread in the hand and casually drink from the chalice".

Sound like Mass at your local parish? Was it at St. Bozo's in Los Angeles? Church of the Group Hug in Boston? Nope... It was at a Lutheran Midnight "Mass" in Germany, Christmas, 1521.

Now I know darn good and well that the vast majority of folks who swing into The Lair are decent, faithful, loyal Catholics. I know this post is gonna get a lot of folks P.O.'ed. If you're angry, this isn't my intent. I just want to give folks something to consider.

Here are some examples of what Martin Luther did when he instituted the Protestant Revolt in the 1500's.

He got rid of the Mass of the Catechumens and changed it to Liturgy of The Word. Sound familiar?

He got rid of the Mass of the Faithful and changed it to Liturgy of The Eucharist. Sound familiar?

He stopped the "priest" from facing God in The Tabernacle (not that Lutherans have real priests or believe in The Real Presence) and he had them face the congregation instead. Sound familiar?

Luther got rid of unchanging Liturgical Latin and replaced it with the present day, ever changing, vernacular tongue. Sound familiar?

Luther ripped out the Communion Rail and forbade Communion kneeling and on the tongue. He replaced it with Communion standing, in the hand and under both Species. Sound familiar?

Luther added to the formula of the Consecration of the bread the words "quad pro obis tradetur" ("which will be given up for you"), and deleted both "mysterium Fidei ("the mystery of faith") and "pro multis" ("for the many") and replaced it with "for all". Sound familiar?

This last one is very important. Remember, for Catholics, it's always been "pro multis" ("for the many"). Jesus never said "for all". The Holy Bible never said "for all". The Catholic Mass never said "for all"... until Vatican II that is. The change to "for the many" is flat out dangerous. Here's why... it denies Jesus at sooooo many levels.

Think about what St. Paul said in Hebrews 9:28: "Christ was offered once to exhaust the sins of many". How about what Our Lord said to St. John: "I pray for them; I pray not for the world, but for them whom the hast given me, because they are thine" (Jn 17:9). Bottom line; if Jesus wanted to say "and it is shed for all", then by golly... He would have said it, but He didn't! Not a good idea to second guess Christ.

Many of us are familiar with the Heresy of Universalism (everyone's going to Heaven. It doesn't really matter what you believe, as long as you believe). "For all" flirts awfully close to Universalism.

A friend of mine back home (who attends the New Mass only) in California took his family to the The Passion of The Christ when it first came out. He called me when they got home and he told me that something happened that made him start seeing things from my perspective. He told me that during the Last Supper scene when Jesus said "This is shed for you and the many...", one of his young daughters leaned over to him and whispered "Dad, Jesus said it wrong". Needless to say, that upset him greatly... and it got him to thinking.

There's an old Latin saying ~ "lex orandi, lex credendi" (as you pray, you will believe). One cannot imitate Protestantism indefinitely without becoming Protestant. Remember, if it waddles like a Protestant, lays eggs like a Protestant, quacks like a Protestant... well, I'm sure you get my point.

End Of 2005 Quiz
I hereby tag... everyone!

1. What was the biggest proponent for the homosexual lifestyle in 2005?
The film Brokeback Mountain; or the United States Council of Catholic Bishops?

2. What was a greater example that God does indeed exist, and He touches even the lowliest and most undeserving of us all in 2005?
The Church certifies that Anna Santaniello was miraculously cured of heart disease during a pilgrimage to the Shrine of Our Lady of Lourdes; or the Chicago White Sox winning the World Series?

3. What made us heave a sigh of relief when it finally left America in 2005?
Hurricane Katrina when it dissipated over Canada; or Cardinal Law when he left for Rome?

4. What was the best example of "it's a natural fit" in 2005?
The San Diego Padres choose hometown baseball boy-wonder, Matt Bush as their number one draft selection; or when Archbishop Neiderauer was named as the next head honcho for the Archdiocese of San Francisco?

5. What was the biggest example of wasted ammunition in 2005?
U.S. Military Explosive Ordinance Disposal teams who've destroyed over 100,000 tons of ordinance in Iraq; or the Los Angeles Sheriff's Departments Deputies who opened fire on a murder suspect with over 120 rounds, but only scored one hit... to the hand?

6. What was the scientifically verified largest pig in 2005?
The reported 1,000 pound "Hogzilla" found in the swamps of Georgia; or Michael Schiavo?

7. What were the best canned goods in 2005?
My grandmother's apricot preserves; or Fr. Thomas Reese, former editor of the Jesuit publication America magazine?

8. What was the best example of the medical profession saving innocent lives in 2005?
The self-contained artificial heart is perfected; or Tookie Willimas receiving a lethal injection?

9. Who's the biggest hypocrite in 2005?
Cardinal Mahoney of Los Angeles, who went to Communist China and cozied up with the openly schismatic Chinese Patriotic Catholic Church, even though the Cardinal steadfastly refuses to speak with clerics of the SSPX; or Cardinal McCarrick of Washington DC, who went to Communist China and cozied up with the openly schismatic Chinese Patriotic Catholic Church, even though the Cardinal steadfastly refuses to speak with clerics of the SSPX?

10. What's the best new blog of 2005?
http://catholic-caveman.blogspot.com/ or http://WWW.Catholic-Caveman.blogspot.com?

KentuckyFriedDumbAss.com
It was either this or a Klingon name

Southern fried idiot, Chris Garnett, a 19-year-old PETA staffer has legally changed his name to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com. click here

Garnett, youth outreach coordinator for the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, said he changed his name in support of the group's anti-KFC campaign.

"Stacked" star and PETA supporter Pamela Anderson supports Garnett's name change. "I'm sure Chris can't wait 'till KFC stops torturing chickens so he can change his name back," the actress said in a statement, adding that the chicken abuse "is awful and has to stop."

Anderson had no comment concerning her role in thousands of teen age boys abusing themselves.

Anderson was spotted at a trendy Upper West Side boutique holding something she's never seen before. "I just don't know what it is! *giggle* Just lot's of squiggly lines and pictures and stuff. Ummm, I think it's suppose to be for, hmmm, probably it's suppose to... ahhh... I'm not really sure... uhhh... SAVE THE WHALES!"

Pat Buchanan, Pope Benedict, The SSPX, and Green Tea
The Cosmic Oneness of Green Tea

Not that long ago, it was quite fashionable in American politics to refer to Pat Buchanan as a wild eyed extremist. Those on both the Left and Right simply delighted in sneering down their collective noses and pointing at the Chicken Little of fringe politics.

Buchanan made such outlandish claims that there would be a Silent Invasion from Mexico. 10-30 million illegals later, amazingly enough, "enlightened" politicians from San Diego, California, to Caribou, Maine, to Washington, DC had their own personal epiphanous moment and suddenly came to the realization that something must be done about this problem. Gee, no kidding?

Buchanan also warned of a War on the Middle Class. That zany Buchanan kicked in scare tactics about how millions and millions of Working Class families would lose their jobs due to corporations moving lock, stock and barrel to the lure of cheap labor overseas. Just here in North Carolina alone, over 60,000 have lost their jobs in the textile industry. And I defy anyone to show me a stitch of clothing sold in Wal-Mart that's made entirely in the USA.

I could go on, but you get the picture.

Those nutty schismatic SSPX'ers warned that by it's very ambiguous nature, the Novus Ordo Missae (The New Mass) would lead to such abominations as The Hula Mass, The Cowboy Mass, The Rock 'N Roll Mass, The Polka Mass, and best yet, The Animal Sacrifice Mass . But no way that could ever happen. We have such wonderful priests and bishops in The Church, none of them would ever allow such travesties to happen.

The gloom and doom'ers at the SSPX also predicted that there would be no Springtime for The Church after the Second Vatican Council, but a crisis. Silly wabbits, everything is hunky-dory. No "crisis" will ever hit. Thanks to The Spirit of Vatican II, the Church is in it's best shape ever! Well... then again... maybe not. What's this about Pope Benedict talking about some sort of "crisis that hit the church in the wake of council"?

And the most outlandish claim by the SSPX was that due to the flat out watering down (abandonment?) of Catholic Teaching, Catholics would no longer believe in the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharistic. Pish-posh... go away SSPX, your scare tactics won't work on me. Uhhh... wait. Hold on a sec. Didn't His Holiness just call a Synod in Rome due to, what was it again? Something about how Catholics worldwide are falling away from the belief in Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharistic?

OK, what's this have to do with Green Tea? I quit smoking awhile back. Between my complete and utter abandonment of anything even remotely resembling exercise since I retired from The Corps, and my love of Italian Sausage Subs (especially late at night)... well, let's just say, as my charming South Carolina born and bred wife told me, "Honey, you got more ass than a mule farm".

To make matters worse, my doctor told me that I had something called Fatty Liver. Long story short; too much fat introduced to my body at once turned my liver into, essentially, a bag of fat. Time to lay off the Subs. Time to hit the gym. And to cleanse the liver... a lot (and I mean A LOT) of green tea. Take my word for it... it works.

OK, now how does all this tie together? Well, when I first started knocking back the green tea, I considered it the most vile, disgusting thing around. How could anyone tell me to drink this stuff? It sucks! Gimme a milkshake instead. I don't want the hard path... I want the easy path!Don't warn me about this, and warn me about that.

But then I started to look into it. I read up on green tea. Maybe there's something to what so many are saying about it. Hmmm... no matter how bad it tastes, no matter how bad I don't want to, I think I'll give it a shot.

Eventually, the weight came down... my liver is cleaned out. I still got a long way to go, but I'm getting there.

Oh, and I'm still knockin' back the green tea. Both the liquid and spiritual kind.

Brokeback Parishes
Yeah, I stole the title idea from Jay


Ask most any priest who you just know is sodomite-friendly if he is, in fact, catering to the Sodom and Gomorrah clientele, and the answer will be "Oh of course not. Don't be such a big silly!" or words to that effect.

So whadda we do? Simple, fellow Blog-lodytes, go to the source. Over at GalPal's.com, they have a listing of pervert friendly parishes.

Now when Father Brucie over at St. Sugarbritches feigns ignorance about his parish being a gathering spot for the morally disordered, you can point out to him "well Father, YOU may not consider this parish to to queer-friendly... but THEY sure as hell do".

Alabama
St. Bede --Montgomery

Arizona
Christ the King --Mesa
Franciscan Renewal Center --Scotsdale
Sts. Peter and Paul, St. Pius X, Our Mother of Sorrows, St. Odilia --Tucson

California
St. Mark's University Parish --Coleta
St. Matthew's --Long Beach
Blessed Sacrament, Christ the King, Loyola-Marymount University, Mother of Good Counsel, Our Lady of the Assumption, St. Camillus Emaus, St. Dominic's, St. Jane Frances de Chantal, St. Paul the Apostle --Los Angeles
St. Francis --Sacramento
St. Charles --San Carlos
Christ the King, Our Lady of the Sacred Heart --Santa Clara
St. Didicus --San Diego
Most Holy Redeemer, Old St. Mary's Cathedral --San Francisco
Church of San Rafael & Mission San Rafael Archangel --San Rafael
Holy Cross --Santa Cruz
St. Monica's --Santa Monica
Santa Sophia --Spring Valley
St. Martha's --Valinda
St. Ambrose, St. Victor's --West Hollywood
St. Mary of the Assumption --Whittier

Colorado
St. Thomas --Boulder
St. Dominic's --Denver

Connecticut
St. Patrick-St. Anthony --Hartford

District of Columbia
Dahlgren Chapel of Georgetown University, St. Aloysius

Florida
St. Augustine --Casselberry
St. Anthony, St. Maurice --Ft. Lauderdale
St. Matthew --Winterhaven

Georgia
Shrine of the Immaculate Conception --Atlanta

Illinois
St. Mary of Celle --Berwyn
St. Clement, St. Gertrude --Chicago
St. Margaret Mary --Naperville
Queen of Peace --North Chicago

Indiana
St. Mary --Evansville

Kentucky
Epiphany, Cathedral of the Assumption, St. William's --Louisville

Massachusetts
Boston College, Jesuit Urban Center, Paulist Center --Boston
St. Peter's --Provincetown
Immaculate Conception --Stoughton
Holy Cross --Worcester

Maine
Most Holy Trinity --Saco

Maryland
Corpus Christi, Loyola College, St. Francis of Assisi --Baltimore
St. John the Evangelist --Columbia
St. Bernadette's --Severn

Michigan
St. Ignatius Loyola --St. Ignace

Missouri
Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception --Kansas City
St. Cronan's, St. Margaret of Scotland --St. Louis

Minnesota
St. Francis Cabrini, St. Joan of Arc, St. Stephen --Minneapolis
University of St. Thomas
University of St. Catherine

New Jersey
St. Brendan --Clifton
St. Anselm's --Wayside

New Mexico
St. Thomas Aquinas Newman Center (University of New Mexico), Holy Family, Risen Savior --Albuquerque
Sacred Heart of Jesus --Espanola

New York
St. Andrew, St. Boniface --Brooklyn
St. Joseph's (Greenwich Village), St. Sebastian, St. Paul the Apostle, St. Francis Xavier --New York City
Corpus Christi, Emmanuel Church of the Deaf, Our Lady of Good Counsel, St. Augustine, St. Mary's Downtown, St. Monica --Rochester
St. Andrew the Apostle --Syracuse
St. Bridget's --Westbury, Long Island

North Carolina
St. Joan of Arc --Asheville
St. Peter --Charlotte
Immaculate Conception --Durham
St. Patrick --Feyetteville
St. Francis of Assisi --Raleigh

Ohio
St. Martha --Akron
St. Monica-St. George Newman Center (University of Cincinnati), Lesbian & Gay Ministry (Xavier Univerity) --Cincinnati
Ascension of Our Lord --Cleveland
St. Thomas More Newman Center, Ohio State University --Columbus
University of Dayton Campus Ministry --Dayton

Oregon
Shepherd of the Valley --Central Point
Koinonia Catholic Community, Paulist Center, St. Philip Neri, St. Andrew's, University of Portland --Portland

Pennsylvania
Old St. Mary's, St. John the Evangelist, St. Vincent de Paul --Philadelphia

Rhode Island
St. Francis Chapel --Providence

Texas
University Catholic Center-University of Texas --Austin
Holy Trinity Church --Dallas
University of the Incarnate Word --San Antonio

Virginia
Sacred Heart --Richmond
St. Nicholas --Virginia Beach

Washington State
St. Benedict --Seattle

West Virginia
St. Agnes --Shepherdstown

Wisconsin
St. Benedict Center Sunday Assembly --Madison
St. Matthew's Congregation, St. Pius X, Trinity-Guadalupe --Milwaukee

New Cardinals On The Horizon?
I sure hope CWN is wrong about one of 'em

Speculation out of Rome concerning the possibility that The Holy Father will be naming new Princes of The Church as soon as next week. A cursory glance at all the named Archbishops in the CWN story didn't give me much hope in any of them for a turn towards Tradition.

But hey, God works in mysterious ways.

One name, however, did leap off the monitor at me. Archbishop Michael J. Fitzgerald, Prefect of the Vatican’s Pontifical Council for Interreligious Dialogue. Yes the same Archbishop Fitzgerald who presided over the recent Ecumenical Congress in Fatima, Portugal.

The purpose of such was concerning the establishment of an Interfaith Shrine at Fatima. Buddhist, Hindu, Islam, Protestant, everyone... just a big ecumenical group hug. The conference logo has this abomination tagged "The Present of Man: The Future of God". Whoaaa cowboy. "The Future of God"? "The Future of God"??!! I have a funny feeling this isn't going to pass the smell test.

I did some more digging, here's what I found. First off, what I've posted below is just a wee bit of the article. Do yourself a BIG favor... read the entire article. But here are the high (low) lights;

Featured speaker, Father Jacques Dupuis (a Jesuit... big shocker there), openly showered contempt on this defined truth and on the teaching of the Saints and Doctors of the Church. On the point of "outside the Church there is no salvation", Father Dupuis said in disgust, "There is no need to invoke here that horrible text from the Council of Florence in 1442".

Does that give you an idea of how much of his statement went?

Later, Archbishop Fitzgerald said that he agreed with Father Dupuis that "the unity with God is not confined to the people who belong to the Church". The Church, according to this new union, should not proselytize. Nor is the purpose of dialogue to "convert" the "other" to Catholicism. This is pointless, since members of all religions, according to Dupuis, are already part of the "Reign of God". Rather, "the Church" says Fitzgerald, "is there to recognize the holiness that is in other people, the elements of truth, grace and beauty that are in different religions," and "to try to bring about a greater peace and harmony among people of other religions"

Wonderful... and this guy's name is being bandied about as a future Cardinal? Great.

As if all this wasn't nauseating enough, we have this pearl;

Later the same day, a small group of young traditional Catholics questioned Jose Cardinal da Cruz Policarpo of Lisbon about the new interreligious orientation. A youth quoted to the Cardinal a passage from the book of Sister Lucy, Calls from the Message of Fatima, where she faithfully explained the First Commandment. The Cardinal responded, "Sister Lucy is no longer a point of reference today since we have such a good one in the Second Vatican Council".

I guess there's no chance of me being Pope for a day, is there? How 'bout an hour? Five minutes? Five minutes is ALL I NEED!

Pope Joan
This nonsense again? *sigh*

Big Daddy29 has an excellent post concerning the latest network approved Anti-Catholicism to hit the airwaves.

In all myths, there is a grain of truth. As we all know, in the English language we abbreviate the name Charles to "Chas." or William to "Wm.", etc, etc.

Centuries ago, writers from Northern Europe would write out the lineage of the Popes. Again, as we all know, we have had many, many popes with the name John or Joannes in German.

Guess how the Germans abbreviated Joannes centuries ago (and very well may still do)? You guess it... "Joan."

The Protestant Revolt takes place (oddly enough, in Northern Europe) and certain unlearned individuals see the name "Pope Joan." written down, next thing you know, the myth of Pope Joan is born (oddly enough, in Northern Europe).

Get the word out, folks. We gotta fight this garbage to it's face!

Lend-Lease Program - Caveman Style
If your neighbor needs a club...

Less than a week ago, Irwin Cotler, Canada’s Justice Minister said that the country’s gun laws are among the toughest on the books, and he dismissed calls for new minimum sentences as ‘‘a quick-fix solution’’ to a spate of gunplay in Toronto. Hmmm... lots of jail time for those that want to use guns in the act of committing crime is a quick-fix, 'eh? Whatever, it's your country.

But a recent gang style shoot-out in Toronto, Canada has left one dead and six wounded. According to the Mayor of Toronto, David Miller, this is somehow America's fault. Huh... what? According to Miller, this is "a sign that the lack of gun laws in the United States is allowing guns to flood across the border that are literally being used to kill people in the streets of Toronto".

Hey, doesn't Canada have cops? I remember Sgt. Preston of the Mounties. Yeah... Canada's got cops! Yukon Beer use to have a Mountie on it's label. Well, considering what the Liberal Party has done to Canada, the RCMP might as well be used to advertise beer and have tourists take snapshots with them.

Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty said the girl was a victim of ‘‘the insanity of guns.’’ No, dumb ass, it's the insanity of gutless maggots like you that don't have the spheres to crack down on criminals.

Anyhow, Mayor Miller, don't blame America because Phallo-Cranial-Canadians like you have emasculated not only your judicial system, but your Law Enforcement Agencies as well.

Way back in October, Canadian PM Paul Martin wagged his finger at America and said "The Americans ask us to do things in terms of the border; I think there's an obligation on their side to work with us to prevent gun-smuggling into Canada". Ummm, Mr. Minister... have you given any consideration to the possibility that there wouldn't be any smuggling if criminals knew that your laws had some bite?

Sheesh... has anyone found any donors yet for the oh so urgently needed testicle transplant for these 'nadless "statesmen"? Someone get these morons out of their drum circle and pry 'em loose from their bong long enough to protect their citizens.

Well fellow Blog-lodytes, I've decided to institute my own Neanderthal Lend-Lease Program. I remember the old saying "If your neighbor's house is on fire, you lend him a hose...". I would like to formally extend the offer to Carlton at Upper Canada Catholic and to Island Catholic, provided the Liberal Party hasn't outlawed big sticks, you two most certainly can borrow The Club to use however you both see fit.

Top Ten Greatest...
Time to lighten the mood

My good goomba Rick, over at City of God has kicked in a first rate worst Americans ever Top Ten list. I toyed with the idea, but opted for something a wee bit lighter.

The Caveman's Top Ten Greatest Albums


10. Frank Zappa's Overnight Sensation ~ OK, I'll admit it. I'm strange. But Zappa's always been a guilty pleasure. And he's also funny as hell. Excuse me while I jump on my pygmy pony, grab my zircon encrusted tweezers and put on my poncho. And yes... it's a real poncho, not a Sear's poncho.


9. Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells ~ For it's era (early 70's) this album was a stunner. Better known as The Theme from The Exorcist, side one is just one solid song, and it's just Mike Oldfield playing almost 30 various instruments. Record just one instrument for the length of time for side one, then record another instrument, then record another instrument... get one note wrong, start over on that track. Stuff like that's no big deal now, but thirty years ago, it was groundbreaking. And Oldfield's album stands the test of time. If you like intricate, tight instrumentals, this is the album for you.


8. The Commitments ~ Do you enjoy R&B? Like Blue Eyed Soul? Then this Irish band will knock your socks off. Lead singer 16 year old Andrew Strong has a voice that is a combination of James Brown and Joe Cocker, and can belt out a tune with all the subtlety of a nuclear strike. Angeline Ball has the voice, and face, of an angel. The entire band is simply awesome. One album, one concert... that's it. They disbanded. If you haven't seen the movie or heard the album, do it.


7. Victory At Sea ~ OK, I'm a retired Marine, my second oldest brother is a retired Naval Officer, my oldest brother was a Vietnam Marine machine gunner, our father was a Navy WWII, Korea and Vietnam vet. It's a no brainer that I love this album. Feeling worn down and need something to get you fired up to lift weights... or call in a napalm strike? Then this is the album for you.


6. Joe Jackson's Jumpin' Jive ~ I've always loved Big Band Swing, but this 80's New Wave artist suprised the hell outta everyone with this album. Tunes like Is You Is Or Is You Ain't My Baby and What's The Use Of Gettin' Sober If You're Gonna Get Drunk Again? make this album a must have for anyone who even remotely likes Jazz. Louis Jordan is looking down from Heaven and smiling.


5. Blue Oyster Cult's Some Enchanted Evening ~ If for no other reason... because THIS is the album that has Godzilla live. And whatever you do, don't play Kick Out the Jams if your driving on the interstate. This is one of those songs that forces your right foot down.



4. Emerson, Lake & Palmer's Brain Salad Surgery ~ Proof positive that you can dig on dirty hippie art school drop-out weirdo druggie music without being a dirty hippie art school drop-out weirdo druggie. Imagine a heapin' helpin' of Modest Mussorgsky, a liberal splash of Scott Joplin, and lastly, about a thousand hits of blotter acid. The entire Karn Evil 9 suite is simply stunning... a musical masterpiece. Jerusalem is almost religious... well it is a very old English church hymn. And Benny The Bouncer must be what's played before British soccer games. Yes, it's a rather calming little ditty.



3. Elvis Costello's My Aim Is True ~ Nothing says Take No Prisoners Rock 'N Roll like the Angry Young Man from the UK. Gritty, primitive Rock. If Mystery Dance and Welcome To The Working Week don't get you doing the White Guy With No Rhythm But Doesn't Care dance moves, then there's something wrong with you. (The Angels Wanna Wear My) Red Shoes and Blame It On Cain are just flat out fun.


2. Steely Dan's Countdown To Ecstasy ~ The twin genius of Fagan and Becker. Once you recover from being knocked off your chair by how great the musicians really are, you eventually discover that most of their songs are about drug smuggling and porno. But the music is just so damn good... you don't really care. And I gotta admit, My Old School always takes me back to my beer soaked, hormone driven high school days.


1. Chicago II ~ The greatest album ever produced. Drum-tight instrumentals. Intelligent lyrics. Harmonies that would make Brian Wilson proud. Make Me Smile never got the recognition it deserves. Undoubtedly, it rivaled anything The Who or The Beatles ever did. Chicago did a number of excellent albums after this one, but when Terry Kath (guitar and lead vocals) passed away +may God rest his soul+, that was the moment that Chicago went from being a great Rock and Roll band and became just another sickening sweet pop band.

How Could They Tell?
Not that there are any REAL priests in the area

Austria, the land of Stalinist tactics and a Shrine to "Saint" Judas Isacriot are now puzzled as to why they can't tell a real priest from a fake one.

Officials at the Diocese of Linz (the same town with the Judas Shrine) are super pissed over a German who fraudulently passed himself off as a priest for 3 months.

The way things have been going in The Eastern Reich... how could they tell he was a fake?

What Catholic Priests Are Reading
You may (or may not) be shocked

Interesting story from the Duke University Divinity School’s "Pulpit & Pew Project". A few years old, but still relevant. They polled over 2,500 Catholic and Protestant ministers. Here are the Top Twelve authors that Catholic priests are reading. I've included a sentence or two on the not so famous authors listed.

1. Father Henri J. M. Nouwen - He preached Universal Salvation; "Every one will be saved" and "Anyone can find his own way to God". In his final book Sabbatical Journey : The Diary of His Final Year there is an ostensible endorsement of "gay" marriage. He was also a avid reader of Matthew Fox, the renegade Dominican. Why doesn't that suprise me?

2. Pope John Paul II - I think we all know who he is.

3. Father Raymond Brown - Brown received 24 honorary degrees, many from Protestant institutions. He openly argued against Jesus' physical Resurrection; the Transfiguration; the fact that Jesus founded the one, true Catholic Church and instituted the priesthood and the episcopacy. He has also called into question into the virginal conception of Jesus and the accounts of our Lord's birth and childhood. Cardinal Mahony hailed him as "the most distinguished and renowned Catholic biblical scholar to emerge in this country ever" and his death, the cardinal said, was "a great loss to the Church". 'Nuff said.

4. Father William J. Bausch - Leading proponent of Women's Ordination (Chicks with Pyx), optional celibacy for priests, and Sex Ed in Catholic schools all the way down to the Kindergarten level; "finally, the nation's Catholic schools have inaugurated sex abuse prevention lessons for children as early as age five..."

5. Father Walter J. Burghardt - A modern day Jesuit. Need I say more? Hell... why not. Here's Monsignor Philip J. Murnion, director of National Pastoral Life Center, glowing review of Burghardt's book "Long Have I Loved You"; "the memoir is required reading for anyone who wishes to understand the theology lying behind Vatican II and carrying its vision forward". I guess that 2,000 years of Catholicism prior to V2 is just a figment of my imagination?

6. Scott Hahn - Darling of the Neo-Cons in the Church. Compared to the rest of these guys, Hahn looks like St. Augustine.

7. Father Anthony de Mello - Another Jesuit. Proponent of a melding of Catholicism, Zen Buddhism, modern psychology, and yoga. Big shock, huh?

8. Dr. William Barclay - A so-called "great Bible Teacher". For starters, he openly denied the Dogma of the Virgin Birth; "The Jews had a saying that in the birth of every child there are three partners--the father, the mother, and the Spirit of God. They believed that no child could ever be born without the Spirit. And it may well be that the New Testament stories of the birth of Jesus are lovely, poetical ways of saying that, even if He had a human father, the Holy Spirit of God was operative in His birth in a unique way. In this matter we may make our own decision".

9. Father Richard P. McBrien - Head Honcho at the Theology Department at the University of Notre Dame. Openly challenges the Dogmas of Papal Infallibility, the Blessed Mother's Immaculate Conception and the Assumption, Confession, The Real Presence (he describes the Catholic belief in transubstantiation as "medieval").

10. Father Karl Rahner - Yet another Jesuit. As one writer put it, "Without Rahner... the Second Vatican Council's liberalization of dogma and ecclesiastical structure would have been almost unthinkable without him". Rahner is the veritable Big Daddy of the "Cosmic Jesus" heresy so prevalent in The Church. According to him, what is there in the afterlife? Precisely nothing—for there is no afterlife, just an "all-cosmic body" in death. Rahner himself made a similar point when claiming that Vatican II marked the emergence of a 'World Church'. Thanks to Rahner, Protestants were no longer simply benighted heretics, pagans no longer simply in error. Rather, if the Churches ever are reunited, the non-Catholic Christians will bring something positive; and even the institutional forms of paganism can be of salvific significance.

11. C. S. Lewis - Hope springs eternal. At least they're reading him.

12. Father Mark Link - *sigh* ANOTHER Jesuit. And silly me, I've been wondering so long why we have so many shitty priests in the Church. Anyhow, Father Feelgood here is the Joe Dirt of Catholicism (life's a garden, dig it). Father Link has such deep sayings as "The Church is like a net that fisherman cast into the sea. The Church can't discriminate either". Wow... the Summa Theological for the Vatican II Church if I ever saw it.

Sheesh, and we wonder why things are so screwed up. But look what didn't quite make the Top Twelve. And keep in mind, this stuff is being read by our priests...

Sister Joan Chittister - One of the featured writers at the Jesuit run America magazine. Need I say more?

Dianne Bergant - Penned such phallo-phobic page turners as But She Said: Feminist Practices of Biblical Interpretation; An Ecological Vision of the World: Toward a Christian Ecological Theology for Our Age; The Earth Is the Lord's: The Bible, Ecology, and Worship; and The Strange Woman: Power and Sex in the Bible.

Joyce Rupp - Another Cosmic Jesus freak. From her book The Cosmic Dance An Invitation to Experience Our Oneness (I'm serious, that's what it's really called) "I am made up of stardust, that every part and parcel of who I am materially was once a piece of a star shining in the heavens". Ok.... and by the time we got to Woodstock, we were half a million strong. So what's your point, Joyce?

Rosemary Radford Ruether - A gyno-centric writer who spoke at the first meeting of the Women's Ordination Conference, and since 1985 has been a member of the board of directors of the pro-abortion feminist organization Catholics for A Free Choice. Ruether believes the Word of God is a lie-a collection of myths-and that "the Bible has to be demythologized"-that is, rewritten from the feminist perspective. Ruether was a founder of Women-Church and in 1983 helped unite many of the feminist groups into [a coalition called] Women-Church Convergence.

Whew! I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm about ready to book passage on a cruise to the Isle of Lesbos.

I Found Another First Rate Blog
Thoughts From The Right

Excellent post from Boethius.

Here's an article on how some Catholic youth are embracing the Traditional Latin Mass. (Note from The Caveman: Reuters got it wrong. There wasn't 1,000 Traditional Catholic youths there... there was well over 3,000)

I still have my doubts, however, about the traditional liturgy. I attended the 9:30 a.m. Traditional Latin Mass at St. Josephat's in Detroit this morning, and it wasn't very entertaining.

No jokes, no guitars, no dancing, no smiling priests, no halter tops, no video projectors, and no hand-shaking, backslapping, or hugging at the sign of peace.

I mean, everything was so non-entertaining that I actually followed along in the Mass booklet. Of course, it was all "Sacrifice this" and "Sacrifice that," not to mention the incense and Gregorian Chant (wasn't that banned in Vatican II?).

Despite the lack of entertainment, I'll give it another shot. After all, I get plenty of entertainment the rest of the week.

The Catholic Barfight Podcast
Download... have fun, go nuts!

A buddy of mine, Ben, and I have been messing around with computer stuff (he's the computer genius, not me) and we've decided to get out various rants, raves, debates and screaming matches, and turn them into something productive.

Here is our first session of the Catholic Barfight. It starts out friendly enough, but starts to get rather heated. But Ben and I are still buddies. Regardless of how angry we sound at each other during our debate on the Death Penalty.

We start out with our "Joke Of The Day" and then on to good natured banter, then the Main Event. If you happen to have any ideas for topics, send us e-mail at: CatholicBarFight@gmail.com. We want this show to be listener driven.

I'll readily admit, this first Podcast was a bit on the rough side. But Ben worked his editing magic to make our upcoming session a bit more polished and professional. As sson as he gets done putting the finishing touches on it, I'll notify everyone.

Just as True Now As Then
Hat tip to my buddy Marty

Let The Name...'ARNOLD'...Be Stricken From Every Public Obelisk...
So let it be written, so let it be done.

Our version of the BBC (but this time, with credibility) Gillibrand has passed the word how the city council of Arnold Schwarzenegger's hometown of Graz, Austria has decided to strike his name from the former Schwarzenegger Soccer Stadium due to Arnold refusing to grant clemecy to quadruple murderer Tookie Williams.

Ahh-nuld beat 'em to the punch and personally requested his name be taken off. Gotta love his preemptive "screw you" to the Graz city council.

But in a move reminiscent of Josef Stalin, or more correctly, George Orwell, the Graz City Parental Units of Undetermined Gender have since ordered that all references to Schwarzenegger on all web sites linked to City of Graz be deleted.

So let it be written, so let it be done. *BOOM, BOOM, BOOM*

But ya gotta love the "objective" story from AP/Pravda on the Hudson

"Acting on Schwarzenegger's orders two weeks after the Dec. 13 execution of former Crips gang leader Stanley Tookie Williams, city leaders Tuesday deleted all references..."

"Acting on Schwarzenegger's orders"? They make him out to be some sort of Mafia Godfaddah. Rick over at De Civitate Dei put it best when he said that "it wasn't Arnold that judged (or ordered) anything, it was a jury of his peers". Thanks for that moment of sanity, Rick.

Yet another gem from George Jahn of the AP; "...Austrians, who overwhelmingly consider the death penalty barbaric". Says who, AP? You... or possibly that Greens Party maggot who you gushed over in your interview, or the enigmatic "Mario" who slammed Arnie in an e-mail to a newspaper?

AP's Jahn did his best to make any Austrian who even looked favorably on Schwarzenegger out to be either a muscle-head or an Alpine mouth breather. In a grasp at any credibility whatsoever, Jahn did quote Kurt Marnul, a former "Mr. Austria";

"More than 70 percent of Americans are for the death penalty," said Marnul, 75. "This issue is none of Austria's business."

If you wish to let the Graz City Council know what you think about the Governor's name being removed from the stadium and removed from all Internet links, shoot 'em an e-mail stadtverwaltung@stadt.graz.at

They understand English. Day Jaas Don' Schpeak It Vell (that was my Austrian accent spelled out)... sorry.

Another h/t to Gillibrand!

Gumby Alert!!
Part II

Our ace cub reporter, Michael out in L.A. (Louisville Area) has breaking news...

It turns out that our favorite direct spiritual descendant of Judas Iscariot himself has quite a bit to say about the ins and outs (no pun intended) of the homosexual act.

At the New Ways Ministry Fifth National Symposium titled "Out of Silence God Has Called Us", Presider Gumby was quoted as saying "The first thing that I think needs to be said that's very, very important if we're going to love our children is simply to recognize that homosexual people are not disordered people. They are psychologically healthy people. ... Homosexuals are as healthy as anyone else."

Gumby added, "Homosexuals are able to function and grow at least as well as heterosexuals. They are able to be creative, put in a hard day's work, act as citizens, help their neighbor. Somewhat surprisingly, they make love more humanely, largely because they are better able empathetically to feel what their partner is feeling."

***stunned silence for a moment***

And exactly how would Gumby know how one feels during a sodomization, empathetically or otherwise?

Hmmm... I'm starting to get the funny feeling that just possibly, this Gumby knows all about Pokey.

Gang-Banger Chicks Down On The Farm
Are things REALLY this bad?

OK, I'll accept the fact that there are hundreds of thousands of Gang-Bangers in America. I'll accept the fact that there are "Womens Auxiliaries" to the gangs. I'll accept the fact that there are children as young as 8 with gang ties.

I'll even accept the fact that there are gangs out in Rural America.

But I'll NEVER accept this!

STOP THE INSANITY!!

Raleigh Still Waiting For A New Bishop
...save us from the fires of Joe

For those of us still struggling through our own Babylonian Captivity here in the Roman Protestant Diocese of Raleigh, we eagerly await the announcement on who our next Bishop will be.

Foe 30 years now, we've had to endure the destruction of everything Catholic by a bishop who identifies himself as "Your brother, Joe." Sheesh... and he wonders why so many have no respect for him. Hey, he's not really a bishop. He's just one of the boys. Joe... you know.

Just listen to what Father Joseph Vetter, the Catholic chaplain at Duke University said; "He's a very traditional moderate".

Huh... what? A very traditional moderate? What the hell is that??!! Roman Protestant double-speak at it's finest.

To give an outsider an idea of just how crazy things are here in this diocese, "Joe" readily admits that he "struggles with the church teaching that women cannot be priests."

In an interview in 2001, Gossman said of John Paul's position on women in the priesthood: "The pope is the chief teacher in our church, and we have to listen to him. But he has a habit of saying something is true without giving the underlying reasons."

Ummmm... 2,000 years of Catholic Teaching? Could those be the underlying reasons?

We had a mindset in the Marines (I'm sure the other Branches did as well) that one should NEVER trust a "leader" who stands in front of a unit and bitches and moans about his superior. Strike one, Joe

More recently, Joe said he did not think that Holy Communion should be "denied to politicians" who disagree with Church teaching on abortion.

Smilin' Joe is of the opinion that Catholicism teaches that clerics should "not to make a public judgment about the state of the soul of those who present themselves for holy Communion". Joe went on to say "The pastoral tradition of the church places the responsibility for such a judgment on those who come forward to receive holy Communion," he added. "For the present this will continue to be my position."

"For the present", 'eh? What a Gutless Wonder. I guess that whole mortal sin thingee just has him feeling ickie all over. He just doesn't get it, does he? Oh well, strike two, Joe.

Smilin' Joe has also been at the forefront of church wreckovations. If you're ever in the Diocese of Raleigh, make sure you swing by the examples of what Smilin' Joe hath wrought. The Inaccurate Deception Auto Parts Warehouse and Catholic Group Hug Center down In Carolina Beach is a fine example. As is the St. Missed The Mark Performing Arts Center in Wilmington. And who could forget the St. Jude's Strip Mall and County Government Complex in Hampstead.

You can't miss 'em. I'll have this sign out front;

GUMBY ALERT!!
Race Baiting, Gumbleton Style
h/t to Gerald Augustinus

Noted left-wing mouthpiece, friend to Modernists, commie pinko sympathizer, part time Auxiliary Bishop of Detroit, and winner of the 2005 Edith Bunker Look-A-Like Contest, Thomas J. Gumbleton has yet again given Catholics the opportunity to be embarrassed by one of our clerics.

In one of Gumby's recent sermons dated Dec. 18th, 2005, he stated the following;

"Gov. Schwarzenegger in California refused to give clemency to Stanley 'Tookie' Williams, the black man who was on death row. Gov. Schwarzenegger, I guess, thought that he knew best how to judge people."

It's irrelevant if one was in favor or against the execution of quadruple murderer, Tookie Williams. What caught my attention was that Presider Gumby made a point of stating that he was black. Anyone who even slightly followed this story knew damn good and well that Williams was black. Gumby never went out of his way to state that the Ahh-nuld was white. Hmmmm.... I wonder why? Wait, I think I know why! Isn't that called "Race Baiting"?

Oh, and by the way, Gumby... as the Governor of the State of California, Schwarzenegger most certainly can judge if someone is to be granted clemency. I guess the Gumbinator missed that particular Civics class that day. Probably the same day he missed his Catholicism 101 class.

But if anyone is still confused as to who exactly who Thomas J. Gumbleton is, this may refresh your memory;

From the pulpit. A "Catholic bishop" said this on Oct. 23, 2005 concerning those that serve this nation in the Armed Forces; "Well, it's because they're soldiers; as military people generally are, they've been taught to hate".

Forget about Vatican III
What we need is a Trent II

I was thinking about this awhile back... but as many of us already know, the Latin Mass wasn't always the Mass of all of Western Christendom until Pope St. Pius V codified such during the Council of Trent back in the 1500's.

Prior to that, the Latin Mass was pretty much confined to central Italy. But what could have prompted St. Pius to make the Latin Mass THE Mass for all of The Western Church?

Well, for centuries upon centuries, there were various Rites within the Western Church. The Gallic Rite, the Celtic Rite, the Ambrosian Rite, the Mozabaric Rite, the Dominican Rite, the Latin Rite, etc, etc. A few still exist to this day, but are celebrated very rarely.

Anyhow, things started getting ridiculous. The Mass varied from nation to nation, province to province, and in some cases, village to village. Western Christendom was turning into a veritable Tower of Babel.

Pope St. Pius V, in his wisdom, knew that trying to be everything to everyone would be an utter disaster. With the rise of the Protestant Revolution, what Catholicism needed was something to bring the Faithful together instead of separating them. And when the Latin Mass was codified as the one Mass for the Western Church, The Church of Rome flourished.

Now lets fast forward 500 years. We have a rise in militantly anti-Catholic secularism, and how is The Church countering it? By dreaming up a Mass that's trying to be everything to everyone. A Mass that is so open to the possibility of error that it's really quite simple for abominations like the Animal Sacrifice "Mass", Hula "Mass", Polka "Mass", Cowboy "Mass" etc., etc., ad nauseum, to mutate endlessly.

Just like before the Council of Trent, we now have many a different Mass that all vary from nation to nation, state to state (province to province), and in some cases, village to village. Tower of Babel, Revisited.

Sancte Pie V, Ora Pro Nobis

Say Hello... To My Lil' Friends!
Where ARE my manners?

I can't believe that I haven't given a quick rundown (in no particular order) of the various fellow Blog-lodytes that I have added to my links section. And I don't know how I find the time, but I go to these blogs every day. You should too!

Fidei Defensor ~ He knows the REAL meaning of Rule .303 --- My kinda guy.

Custos Fidei ~ Hard hitting, pull no punches blog. Now if I can just get him to attend the Latin Mass more often.

L.A. Catholic ~ The "Big Daddy" of Catholic blogs. The Alpha Male... but I'm sneaking up behind him with my club.

City of God ~ Rick, my GOOMBA! You gotta go to his-a blog or I break-a you face! Capice?

Darwin Catholic ~ Poopie diapers, runny noses, deep thoughts. One never knows what to expect there.

Thoughts of a Regular Guy ~ Paul, just this guy, you know? He and I quietly await the freeing of the Latin Mass. Well... maybe not too quietly.

Aggressive Conservative ~ Just the name alone makes him linkworthy; the blog equivalent of the New Hampshire motto.

Upper Canada Catholic ~ I don't care what the news media says, there are plenty of good conservatives in The Great White North. And he's funny as hell to boot.

Confounding The Wicked ~ Any non-Marine who knows that Parris Island is spelled with two R's is OK in my book, hey and he confounds the wicked! What more could you ask for?

Island Catholic ~ Yet another reason to like Rush, Hockey, The MacKenzie Brothers, and Polar Bears. 'Eh, take off you hoser.

Pro Ecclesia * Pro Familia * Pro Civitate ~ The Flower of Southern Manhood incarnate forced against his will to move to a foreign country... Ohio.

Dad 29 ~ Old, nasty, likes Chesterton. Hey, I just described myself!

The Inman Family Pages ~ Just a good old (Kentucky Catholic) boy. Never meanin' no harm... Beats all you never saw, been in trouble with the law since the day he was born. (Isn't this the point where he jumps a perfectly good bridge in a '73 Honda Hatchback and screams out a blood curling Rebel Yell?)

Curmudgeon's Cave ~ Us cave dwellers gotta stick together. And besides, "Curmudgeon's" such a cool word. (I'm going to have to use it in a sentence today...)

Catholic Church Conservation ~ The Lord Baltimore of Blogyland. Veddy British... Veddy Catholic. Pip, pip cherrio and all that rot. WHAT WHAT?!

Catholic Patriot ~ Speaking of Lord Baltimore, the Favorite Son of the only state named after The Blessed Mother graces us with his presence. Pretty cerebrial stuff here. If I real it real S-L-O-W I have a clue at what he's talking about. I just wish he had pictures.

There are other out there (like Franklin and Scarlette) who are blogless, but because they're just so darn cool, they deserve mention.

Chicks With Pyx
*Sigh* Another ecclesiastical cross dresser

Looks as if another nutty broad has decided to declare herself a Catholic priest. Never mind the fact that The Church has declared for 2,000 years that such is a theological impossibility. Even Pope John Paul II declared infallibly in his document ORDINATIO SACERDOTALIS that women simply cannot ever be ordained priests... period.

The meat and potatoes of ORDINATIO SACERDOTALIS; "I declare that the Church has no authority whatsoever to confer priestly ordination on women and that this judgment is to be definitively held by all the Church's faithful."

Holy Mother The Church can no more ordain a woman a priest than it has the authority to baptize a Cocker Spaniel. But don't tell that to Soline Vatinel, a French "Roman Catholic" who lives in Ireland. OK... she's married, has two children, obviously a woman, and she considers her self ordination to be valid. Theological artificial insemination. What will they think of next?

According to The Times of London, in her own words; "Now I have the support of my husband, and a priest, and the people coming here," she says. She began presiding over Eucharistic celebrations about eight years ago. "Gradually, I have told more and more people. I’ve done it hundreds of times now." And a priest supports her?

And in the true Spirit of Vatican II, she presides over Eucharistic celebrations. Ya know... now that I think about it, what am I getting so upset over? Everyone knows that real Catholic priests celebrate the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Save the "presiding" nonsense for Protestant ministers.

I love the end of the article concerning her... "She believes that women will one day be ordained in the Roman Catholic Church, and that she is part of a new church in the process of being born." How true. The Spirit of Vatican II church certainly isn't the Church that Christ started 2,000 years ago.

While I'm at it... do you know what the real meaning of The Spirit of Vatican II is? It means anything you want it to mean. Hey... isn't that the same definition as Protestantism?

San Francisco Gets New Archbishop
Urbi et Orbi ~ "You’re all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me 20!

His Excellency, Archbishop Niedermeyer

Oops... sorry. That was Archbishop Neiderauer

Remembering Those In Harms Way This Christmas
Keep them in your prayers

On this blessed day when most of us are warm and safe in our homes, let's pause and say a prayer for those who are far from home and have the very real possibility of meeting the Angel of Death at any time.

Ask St Michael to interceed for our brave Marines, sailors, soldiers, airmen and Coast Guardsmen as they serve throughout the world. You know, the word brave is thrown around a lot. Stop and think for a second just how really BRAVE these kids are.

Please also pray for those who don't even know that this is their last Christmas here on Earth, be they an 18 year old Private fresh out of Boot Camp or a 45 year old Colonel expecting to retire soon.

War, indeed, is a terrible thing. Please keep in mind the old saying "We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm."

I'm simply in awe of these youngsters who step up to serve their nation , especially during time of war. Where do we get men such as these?

And on this day, we'll see plenty of news footage of troops having a Christmas meal in various chow halls through-out the world. Remember that not everyone can make it to the chow tent.

More than a few will have a Turkey Chunks with Noodles MRE as their Christmas meal. In combat especially, the situation often dictated minimal celebrations. For example, on Guadalcanal at Christmas 1942, Marines serving with the 2nd MarDiv. On Christmas day, each Marine in his outfit received a fresh orange and a warm can of beer to supplement their regular diet of C–rations.

Merry Christmas to all who enter the Lair of the Catholic Caveman, and a heartfelt thank you to all those who have, are or will serve to keep us safe and able to celebrate Christmas with our loved ones. May God bless you all.

Hey Baby, Have I Got Some Holy Orders For You
Serving Mass... it's not just for worshipping God anymore!

The procession before the Novus Ordo Community Group-Hug and Sing-A-Long is still a time to flirt with a cute altar-babe during the Missa de Gallo, a traditional Christmas service in the Filipino community, as this young fellow demonstrated. The service will be presided over by a certain "Father Jojo" (I'm serious.. you can't make this stuff up). Altar Chicks, oops... sorry. I have to be Politically Correct; Altar Entities of Undetermined Gender are permitted with the consent of the local bishop after Pope John Paul II made the position co-ed "in the spirit of Vatican II."

Modern liturgists use that same "spirit" to justify replacing the corpus of the sacrificed Christ on the crucifix with a "risen" Christ, as seen in this photo, even though a risen Christ crucifix is an oxymoron and does not fulfill the requirement for a crucifix since a risen Christ is not a crucified Christ.

The Resuricfix also lessens the emphasis on the Sacrifice that Christ made on His cross. It wasn't His birth, resurrection nor ascension that opened The Gates of Heaven... it was His death that made that possible.

And people still wonder why there's a crisis in The Church. Clerics can't (won't) even adhere to the basics anymore.

Notre Dame Coach Grants Little Boy's Dying Wish
"He said 'What are we going to do?' I said 'We have no choice. We're throwing it to the right' "

I've made no bones about it in the past. I'm a huge fan of Notre Dame Football click here and here

I'm sure many of you have already heard the story of how the Irish Head Coach, Charlie Weis, made a promise to a dying boy. And I'll readily admit... this story rips my heart out every time I read, speak or even hear about it.

For those unfamiliar with the story, I'll give you a quick run down;

Prior to the Washington game, Coach Weis met with 10-year-old Montana Mazurkiewicz, who had been told by doctors weeks earlier that there was nothing more they could do to stop the spread of his inoperable brain tumor.... Weis told Montana about some pranks he played on Joe Montana -- whom Montana was named after.

"He told me about his love for Notre Dame football and how he just wanted to make it through this game this week," Weis said. "He just wanted to be able to live through this game because he knew he wasn't going to live very much longer."

Weis asked Montana if there was something he could do for him. He agreed to let Montana call the first play against Washington on Saturday. He called "pass right."

Montana never got to see the play. He died Friday at his home.

Weis heard about the death and called Mazurkiewicz on Friday night to assure her he would still call Montana's play. "He said, 'This game is for Montana, and the play still stands,'" she said.

When the Irish started on their own 1-yard-line following a fumble recovery, Mazurkiewicz wasn't sure Notre Dame would be able to throw a pass. Weis was concerned about that, too. So was quarterback Brady Quinn.

"He (Quinn) said 'What are we going to do?'" Weis said. "I said 'We have no choice. We're throwing it to the right.'" Weis called a play where most of the Irish went left, Quinn ran right and looked for tight end Anthony Fasano on the right.

Mazurkiewicz watched with her family. "I just closed my eyes. I thought, 'There's no way he's going to be able to make that pass. Not from where they're at. He's going to get sacked and Washington's going to get two points,'" she said.

Fasano caught the pass and leapt over a defender for a 13-yard gain. "It's almost like Montana was willing him to beat that defender and take it to the house," Weis said. For the entire story, click here.

But the story doesn't end there... some Notre Dame students have banded together and started selling Pass Right wristbands to help the Mazurkiewicz family with a crushing financial burden. As of Dec 14th, they have raised $2,250.00.

To purchase one of the Pass Right wristbands, click here. I can't think of a better way to spend $3.00.

To My Fellow Blog-lodytes
You might be a Catholic Caveman, part deux

I've been going over some of the various responses I've gotten so far click here, and I gotta say; You guys are GOOD! Thought provoking and funny, just the way I want my blog to be.

I've also noticed a common thread. Just about every one attends the Mass of Paul VI (The Novus Ordo Mass)... and just about everyone in one way or another incorporates a traditional practice in one form or another.

I use to do the same thing as well until I started attending the Latin Mass. I realize that many of you cannot attend a Traditional Mass because, more than likely, there isn't even one close by. But until you have the opportunity to assist at one, what do you say about everyone taking from everyone else and bringing more traditional Catholic practices to our local parish?

The Holy Father has stated that he wants us to be more Eucharist centered... fine. Let's DO that then. You folks have given some great suggestions, throw in a few more! Here are some that I thought up;

1. Kneel for Holy Communion. After all, we believe the Eucharist to be the actual Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Christ, right? If so, then how should we greet Jesus? On our knees in reverence, humilty and respect... or standing with a handshake... like equals?

2. Genuflect to the Tabernacle, not to an empty picnic table trying to pass itself off as an altar. If your parish has Christ hidden away in The Sacred Broom Closet, you have the responsibility to raise a stink! What was it that St. Mary Magdelen said? "They have taken My Lord and I do not know where they have hidden Him". If we Catholics are going to consider ourselves a Christ Centered Church, then doesn't it make sense to have Christ CENTERED in our churches?

3. Don't raise your hands during The Consecration. Only one doing any Consecratin' 'round here is the priest! And don't raise your hands during the Our Father either... you just look stupid doing that.

4. Don't drink from the chalice. It's redundant. Like I said before, we consider the consecrated bread to be the actual Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Christ. What... the Consecrated Host is somehow "less" without the Consecrated Blood? And besides, the laity drinking from the chalice is a Protestant practice dreamt up by Luther and the rest of his gang of Theological Thugs.

By the way, here is a link for a list of all Latin Mass parishes and chapels in the US and Canada. Be advised, you'll have to scroll down quite a bit before you get to the state by state listing.

New Bishop of Reno (911)
There's never at Apostolic Visitor around when ya need 'em!

I see here that fellow Guamanian, Father Randolph Calvo of the Archdiocese of San Francisco has been named as the new Bishop of Reno, Nevada.

I haven't called my mom to find out yet, but I'm sure we're related. Guamanians are the Hillbillies of the South Pacific. We're probably fifth cousins, twice removed (close, by Islander standards).

I tried to do some research on the good Bishop-elect, and thus far, I've come up with;

"the Archdiocese of San Francisco already had formed a group called the "Independent Fact Finding Committee" in 2001 to evaluate allegations of sexual contact between a member of the clergy or Church employee and a minor... committee members include Father Randolph R. Calvo, pastor of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel parish in Redwood City (the only priest on the board).

OK... interesting, but not earth shaking. But from what I've gathered, nothing ever became of it. Much ado about nothing. Here's what his fellow clerics are saying about him;

The Rev. Chuck Durante, pastor of Our Lady of Wisdom University Catholic Community, said he believes Calvo is a good choice for the diocese. Durante said he remembers Calvo as a "joyful" adjunct professor who taught him at St. Patrick's Seminary in Menlo Park, Calif.

Well, at least he didn't say he was a "gay" adjunct professor. That's always a step in the right direction.

Then I decided to check out the homepage for his parish in California Our Lady Of Mt. Carmel Homepage. That's always a pretty good gauge of how a particular priest stands...

And what a dizzying visit that was to Huggy-Touchy Land that was. A "ministry" for this, a "ministry" for that.

Everything from:

Art and Environment
Contact Person: Catherine Vollmayer
Help prepare the worship environment for each season thereby adding to spirituality while supporting the liturgical seasons and the months of Ordinary Time.

to:

Homebound Ministry
Contact Person: Catherine Boyle (Gee, isn't this a job for a priest?)
Bring Eucharist to and to visit with those who are ill and/or homebound and are not able to attend liturgy at the church.
Time commitment: Short time on Sundays or other days as requested.
Training needed: Provided by the parish.
to:

Marriage Preparation
Contact Person: Sheila Cole (Gee, isn't this a job for a priest?)
These couples meet with engaged couples to share their marriage experiences to promote good communication skills and understanding in marriage. Couples planning to marry are required to attend these sessions before the Sacrament of Marriage.
Time commitment: approximately four two-hour evenings a year
Training needed: by Family Life Ministers in Archdiocese.

By the way... did you notice how everyone is a contact PERSON? Are they all some sort of androgynous freaks there. Don't these people even know what sex they are? (in exasperation, with a hand slap to the forehead ~ "Santa Maria!!")

What really caught my attention was the "Mission Statement" (my comments in bold):

The mission of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Parish is to be a Christ-centered community in the Roman Catholic tradition. 'Eh... huh.... what? Was that "Christ-centered community in the Roman Catholic tradition"? So we're just in the Roman Catholic tradition, 'eh? All those tens of thousands of heretical Protestant sects are just as equal and valid, right? We share our vision of God with the larger community in which we live. More code words for Universalism. We are a diverse community, which values and respects the importance of the individual. In other words... we're ME centered instead of God centered. We gather in the Spirit to pray, to celebrate the sacraments, to teach, to learn, to console, to rejoice, to minister, and to renew our faith with one another. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, OVER! "renew our faith with one another"? Doesn't God fit in here somewhere?

*Sigh* Looks like just more of the same old, same old.

Want to know what a real Catholic priest from Guam is like? Read about this heroic priest, Father Duenas who was murdered by the Japanese during WW II.

Draw Your Own Conclusions
Santyana's right

In this day and age where a Jew, any Jew, who dares goes against the status quo as dictated by liberals, pretty much has committed professional suicide.

I'm sure there are more, but I can point to at least one who has the 'nads to stand up and tell the truth, Rabbi David G. Dalin. In his book The Myth of Hitler's Pope, Dalin comes right out and calls it like it is. As he says "the outrageous calumny directed against Pope Pius XII".

But the main thing I wanted to point out on this post, is something that damn few
ESPECIALLY on the Left) want to talk about. Forget about "Hitler's Pope". No such thing ever existed. Instead, let's talk about "Hitler's Mufti" click here for article.

Granted, Dalin is speaking from the Jewish perspective. I just wish he would have stated that the enemy of Islamo-Fascism is the entire non-muslim world. But one thing that cannot be denied... one of the staunchest defenders of this particular Catholic Pope is a Jewish Rabbi, and we have many of our own clerics present day attacking Blessed Pope Pius XII.

Here are some excerpts from Dalin's article;

Precisely at the moment when Pope Pius XII and the Catholic Church in Rome (and throughout Europe) was saving thousands of Jewish lives, Hitler had a cleric broadcasting from Berlin who called for the extermination of the Jews.

He was Hajj Amin al-Husseini, the viciously anti-Semitic Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, who resided in Berlin as a welcome guest and ally of the Nazis throughout the years of the Holocaust.

Hajj Amin al-Husseini has inspired two generations of radical Islamic leaders to carry on Hitler's war against the Jews, which is why today, as was true 60 years ago, it is not the Catholic Church that is the great threat to the survival of the Jewish people; it is Islamofascism.

Members of the SS Handzar (Bosnian Moslem) Division.

You Can Always Tell....
Just read their publications

Remember when I asked when you can tell if things aren't going well for Roman Protestants? The same answer applies to sodomites, just read their publications. Over at FudgePacker.com, they're in an absolute foot stomping, breath holding, "I've got the vapors!", full blown force five TIZZY concerning the newly appointed Papal Nuncio, Archbishop Pietro Sambi.

Things like this have the Rump Rangers panties in a knot;
"he (Archbishop Sambi) participated in a coordinated effort by Jewish, Christian and Muslim clerics in Jerusalem to oppose an international Gay Pride event, WorldPride, scheduled to take place in the city". Oh, for shame!!!

Cagney & Lacy aficionado Sharon Kleinbaum, who is the North American co-chairthing of undetermined gender for WorldPride, said it "affirms the church hierarchy's willingness to target our community for persecution and derision within the Catholic Church and align itself with other anti-gay religious extremists." Huh? did she say "persecution"? What persecution? Oh... silly me. Any male with a still functioning rectal sphincter muscle can't be admitted to the seminary. Oh, THAT persecution! As Dr. Evil says; riiiiiiiiight.

And in true Butt Pirate fashion, the article ended with the Sons of Sodom deviating (imagine that) and coming out of nowhere and launching an attack on the Bush Administration;

"I hope that Sambi will delve into the Catholic Church's rich tradition of social justice teaching to challenge the Bush administration's policies of conducting an unjust and illegitimate war in Iraq, and the policies of disregarding human and civil rights here and abroad"

Hmmm.... why can't they be like the rest of us normal guys and like Bush? (I'm SOOOOOOO bad!)

Why Every Catholic Should Be A
San Diego Padres Fan
With a name loke that...

The name San Diego Padres translates into Saint Didacus Priests. And they way they've been trading away players... my beloved Padres need all the intercessory help they can get. By the way, all Dodger fans go straight to hell. It's true, I read that somewhere in Canon Law. Seriously.

Thank goodness they brought in the Right Center fence!!

And Archbishop Lefevbre Was "Excommunicated" For WHAT, again?
Jesuits explain why a Queer Drag-Show is "Educational"

A tip o' the hat to the guys over at St. Joseph's Men

WARNING: The Caveman is exceedingly pissed off right now. If harsh language is troublesome to you, please skip this post.

Thanks,
The Caveman

I'm sitting here at my computer.... shocked. I've had it. I'm going to come right out and say it.

The Jesuits are a thoroughly disgusting assortment of not only non-Catholic, but anti-Catholic scum. These traitorous bastards need to be disbanded, have every one of their members formally excommunicated. I'm damn fed up. These heretical ass-holes need to go.

As if the Jesuits weren't sick enough trying to pass off the hedonism and just blatant sinfulness of this sick garbage as "educational" Santa Clara University Drag Queen Gala, they try to rationalize this shit to us with this wonderful example of PC-speak;

People come to the drag show to be entertained. One of the biggest complaints at Santa Clara University is a lack of on-campus social events--probably a leading cause of the dangerously high levels of underage and binge drinking. Our goal is that students are safely entertained, leaving with not only a smile on their face, but also with a broader understanding of gender diversity.

"Safely entertained"? Legitimizing sodomy is safe entertainment? Bullshit. And these bastards have the balls to try to legitimize this garbage by saying "at least they aren't drinking beer". This is pure bullshit.

But should I REALLY be all that suprised? Just read what the University President, "Father" Paul Locatelli, S.J., said in his so-called Christmas Message, or more correctly, his Homo-Friendly Ramakwanzaukkah Message. Here's just a taste of it;

"...when people of differing faiths, races, orientations, and national origins can sit down at the same table to share food and drink..." Orientations? Did he just place sodomy on the same level as enthnicity? Yep, he sure did

"...I want to wish you and your family and friends a merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, a festive Kwanzaa, the blessings of Ramadan which ended recently, or the peace-filled experience of your own religious tradition." You know, I really don't give a rats ass about a belief that denies the Divinity of Christ or denies the existence of the Holy Ghost. And I could REALLY give a damn less about a made-up holiday dreamt up by an avowed racist. And the ending is priceless.... "your own religious tradition". Does that include Wicca? Satanism? Woshipping oak trees and mud? What a gutless wonder this guy is. Universalism at it's best. This "Father" whatever the hell his name is, just shit-canned The Great Commission.

"...God is not discovered in contentious debate about trees or holy days or the commercialization of holidays". At least he has one out of three right, but God isn't found in Holy Days? Someone please teach this idiot the basics of Catholicism, please. Oh, and God IS found in debate... that's how people learn.

But hey... as Santa Clara University, it's Moral, Theological and Sexual Relativism, baby!

And The Gates Of Hell Shall Not Prevail Against It.
Have we misunderstood it?

I certainly can't speak for all of you, but as for me, I always took The Holy Gospel According to St. Matthew 16:18 to mean that Satan will never overcome Holy Mother Church. The Church will always be within those gates safe and sound... warm and cozy, no matter how badly Satan and his minions batter against said gates, right? Hmmm... maybe not.

I heard this the other day and it really got me to thinking...

Gates are to keep something out, right? Of course. Let's take the gate to my backyard, for instance.

The entire purpose for that gate to to even exist is to keep stray dogs, winos, in-laws, people I owe money, etc... out. Right? Of course. My backyard gate prevails against those nasty stray dogs, winos, in-laws, people I owe money, etc. If a gate prevails, it's done it's job. It's kept something out, the nasty stuff hasn't overcome it. Right? Of course.

Now what could the Gates of Hell be prevailing against? As Jesus tells St. Peter, the gates of hell shall not prevail against (keep out) The Church that Christ Himself gave to us. Christ will be the victor. Satan will be crushed. The Gates of Hell will be kicked in and hell will be overrun and destroyed by Holy Mother The Church. And without a doubt... a platooon of Marines with lead the way.

Of course Jesus loves Marines... forget about being on the defensive, ATTACK!