Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Gumby Alert!!
Part II

Our ace cub reporter, Michael out in L.A. (Louisville Area) has breaking news...

It turns out that our favorite direct spiritual descendant of Judas Iscariot himself has quite a bit to say about the ins and outs (no pun intended) of the homosexual act.

At the New Ways Ministry Fifth National Symposium titled "Out of Silence God Has Called Us", Presider Gumby was quoted as saying "The first thing that I think needs to be said that's very, very important if we're going to love our children is simply to recognize that homosexual people are not disordered people. They are psychologically healthy people. ... Homosexuals are as healthy as anyone else."

Gumby added, "Homosexuals are able to function and grow at least as well as heterosexuals. They are able to be creative, put in a hard day's work, act as citizens, help their neighbor. Somewhat surprisingly, they make love more humanely, largely because they are better able empathetically to feel what their partner is feeling."

***stunned silence for a moment***

And exactly how would Gumby know how one feels during a sodomization, empathetically or otherwise?
Hmmm... I'm starting to get the funny feeling that just possibly, this Gumby knows all about Pokey.


Blogger Dad29 said...

Cynicism as unbounded as mine prevents items such as your post from being "news."

It's merely "confirmation."

Sad, eh?

3:10 PM  
Blogger Paul, just this guy, you know? said...

Y'know, I reckon this here "Gumby" feller don't own a weed eater.

4:51 PM  
Blogger Gaufridus said...

As we say in the Corps, "WTF, k?"

To describe the act of penetrating either end of the alimentary canal as a more humane way of "making love" is and absolute perversion and inversion of logic, reason and common sense and is an insult to those of us who do know what the term "making love" actually means.

6:58 AM  

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