The Lair of the Catholic Caveman

The Car Crash of Blogs. You Don't Want To, But You Just Can't Help But Look

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Suffer the little children to come unto me...
















...and keep 'em the heck away from that liturgical junk food you're trying to feed them!!!


Found this on Father Cranky's blog (a recent favorite of mine):


(my comments in blue)


CLOW-ning Around

I don’t know when it started, but many years ago someone saw that Protestants send their children to day care during their worship services, and voila, we invent Children’s Liturgy of the Word, or as it is called in these parts (and makes my teeth grind) CLOW – pronounced like ‘dough’ and not (as it should be) like ‘clown.’ Just add the word nursery, then the Clown factor cannot be disputed.
It is because the readings and homily for the Mass are tooooo haaaarrrrd for our young ones, and unfortunately some of the powers that be agreed and produced a Children’s Lectionary. I don’t remember the end of St. Matthew’s Gospel being:
“Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age. But remember to use really little words and special gatherings with the children, and make sure you have crafts for them because glue on Sunday clothes is a good thing, otherwise it will be too hard for them to really understand, and we can’t possibly expect any of the adults in their life to explain it to them."
You are forgetting the key word Father. FUN. "We have to make it FUN for them, they won't learn unless it is FUN".

All things that are being done in the name of the children have a way of coming back and infecting everything else we do.
A new rite forms during Mass called the dismissal of children, when the priest has to don his best pied piper voice and invite all the children in the audience (let’s not really call it a congregation) to come up front. This takes about 5 minutes. Then he may or may not choose to interact with them with all the ensuing hilarity of the little darlings saying the cutest things. (Wasn’t it W.C. Fields who said to never work with children? Smart man.) Then we have the oh-so-cutesy exit music for them because like all good modern parishes we have cover music for everything. Ack! I can hear the music now! "Children come...to hear the Good News..." That just made my skin crawl...Those parents who decide they want to keep their kids in sight and in Mass are then glared at by the tolerant/intolerant progressives because how dare they contaminate the purity of our adult gathering with children. Yep, I know that stare. I can almost hear the thoughts behind them too..."Those poor children..." Gotta love 'dem tolerant modernists! Don’t they know when their kids are to be dismissed? Why won’t they send their children to our friendly re-education camps? The Liturgy of the Word must be sterile and devoid of children, just like our homes and marriages. Don’t remind us of life as we listen to the Word of God. The whole sad episode takes 5 or more minutes and completely breaks any kind of solemnity or prayerful attitude that might have been built up – but hey, we never really needed that anyway, this is a modern celebration of the Eucharist! We’re all meant to be happy (and childless)!
Great observation Father! I'm gonna have to remember that one!
The next problem is that you have a bunch of volunteers, probably under the auspices of a hired staff member (and some day we’ll talk about staff) who probably have absolutely no good training in biblical exegesis (bow when you say the holy word of exegesis) and certainly no training in homiletics. They have an age group that can range from barely out of diapers (and sometimes NOT out of diapers) all the way up to third and fourth grade. They’ll only read one of the Scripture readings despite the fact the Church now gives us three, and they’ll give their genuine and heartfelt opinion about it to the kids. "...but...but...but...they are reeeal nice people..."
We won’t even discuss the breeding grounds for ignorance and heresy that exist here. And it causes an infection back to the Mass. If uninformed or non ordained folks can give the Word of God to our kids, why can’t they do it at the regular Mass as well? If Sr. Megan Pantsuit can do the “kids homily” why can’t she do the adult’s homily once a month or so? Why do the adults have to suffer by listening to priests and deacons? And if the kids can do neat crafts and have fun times during the Liturgy of the Word, why can’t everyone else? As I heard it in one parish – we’re all God’s children so why can’t we have the CLOW for everyone? This kind of back spreading infection happens every time you have one or more special ‘experiences’ at a Mass – it always comes back to sicken the other Masses.
Gotcha Father. These little tykes are gonna be the next generation of, "Well, I use to be a Catholic, and I think..."(incert heretical opinion here) catholics.
When the children are released back into the Church becomes a problem as well, but it isn’t worth exploring, except that all those crafts that were so lovingly produced during their special experience now get played with during the rest of the Mass. Actually, this is the point where mean old traditional dads like me get our comeuppance. Remember those dirty looks from the 'tolerant modernists'? Well they are now shooting those eyeball daggers at the jacked up CLOW(N) kids and their parents! With the irony of their behavior going completely over their heads along with thepriests homily! On Easter Sunday one year they all came back with butterflies on strings to whirl around. You see Jesus didn’t really die (too scary for kids) he just went to sleep like a caterpillar and woke up as a butterfly – I kid you not. I think if I saw this, I'd have a reeeeeal hard time fighting the urge to see how far I could shove a butterfly...oh, nevermind...
Lastly, at what age do you actually cut the little darlings off from this fun-fest disguised as liturgy? I have been in parishes where the first full Mass that children ever attend is the Mass for their First Communion. So is First Communion the cut-off date? Great, let’s assign a nice negative event to First Communion. Sorry Johnny, but you can’t have fun and make crafts during Mass anymore, you’ve received the Body of Christ, so you have to sit here like the rest of us.
Cut them off? Shouldn't this be when the prep starts for all those fun (remember, the key word...FUN) teen masses start? I mean, we all know how kids are dying to sneak a listen to all of mom and dads James Taylor and Cat Stevens music. And we all now how they want liturgical music presented in this genre by a burnt out 70's reject who has an image of Christ that more than likely resembles Jerry Garcia.

Cut them off? The Fun doesn't have to ever end!!!
I’ve gotten better questions from five year olds on the readings and homily (in non-CLOW parishes) than I’ve ever gotten from adults.

Amen and thank you Father...



...oh, and Father, if you ever consider relocating to the Southeast, may I submit for your consideration the Diocese of Raleigh. We could use you here.

Link to Fathers Blog: http://frcranky.blogspot.com/2008/12/clow-ning-around.html#comments


Saint Michael the Archangel...Defend us in battle!!!

posted by Unknown at 8:43 PM 9 Comments

2008 - A Big Year For Sodomy
And those in positions of authority in The Church lead the way

Here's some from each article. First, from LifeSiteNews.com comes a disturbing little story about how a spokesman for the USCCB glorifies homosexuality; (Emphasis mine. And the "USCCB Boycotter" badge was stolen from Joe of St. Thérèse)
Movie Reviewer for Catholic Bishops' Conference Praises Homosexualist Film - Again
Despite movie's scenes of males kissing each other, nudity, and promotion of gay "lifestyle", movie not rated "Morally Offensive"

By Matthew Cullinan Hoffman

WASHINGTON, D.C., December 2, 2008 (LifeSiteNews.com) - Harry Forbes, the head movie and television reviewer for the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB), has issued a review praising the movie "Milk." (See text of the review at
http://www.usccb.org/movies/m/milk.shtml)

The movie, which exalts the first openly homosexual man elected to public office in U.S. history, Harvey Milk, contains scenes of "male kissing and nongraphic encounters, rear male nudity, murder, suicide, and some rough language, crude expressions and profanity" by Forbes' own admission.

Despite such material, and despite the movie's blatant glorification of the homosexual rights agenda, it is not rated "Morally Offensive" (O), but only receives a rating of "L", for "Limited Adult Audience." Furthermore, in his review Forbes in no way objects to or cautions viewers about the content of the film, instead offering nothing but words of praise.

Forbes, who heads the USCCB's Office for Film and Broadcasting, calls the movie "a solid biographical drama about San Francisco supervisor and gay rights activist Harvey Milk."

He also speaks approvingly of the movie's strong emphasis on the Catholic faith of Milk's assassin, Dan White. "Penn is especially fine, and Brolin is scarily intense as the Catholic White. (We're shown a lengthy baptism of White's baby, with Milk ironically the only invited outsider.)," writes Forbes.

Forbes has written other reviews praising films that promote and glorify homosexual behavior and attack the Catholic faith, including "Brokeback Mountain," which is about a sodomite relationship between two cowboys, and "The Golden Compass," which is atheistic and vilifies Christianity.
And people wonder why I don't trust the USCCB.

Then again from LifeSiteNews.com; (Emphasis mine)
St. Michael’s Catholic Hospital in Toronto Flying Gay Pride Flag in Lobby
Hospital has history of supporting the gay pride agenda

By John Jalsevac

December 9, 2008 (LifeSiteNews.com) – St. Michael’s Hospital in Toronto, a Catholic hospital, is flying the gay pride flag in its lobby, LifeSiteNews.com has discovered.

The Toronto Catholic hospital has a history of supporting the gay pride agenda. In 1999 LifeSiteNews.com revealed that the hospital was listed as a “bronze” level sponsor of Gay Pride Week in Toronto, having donated a significant sum of money to the event. They did not sponsor the week again. The week’s activities included a homosexual men’s picnic at Toronto Island’s nude beach, and a “dyke striptease unlike any you've seen before,” amongst other similar events,

Recently, in comments made to the Ontario Human Rights Tribunal (OHRT), prominent homosexualist activist Rev. Brent Hawkes lauded St. Michael’s Hospital as an example of
a Catholic institution that had turned its back on Catholic moral teaching in the name of “a greater public good.”

Hawkes described how he approached St. Michael's Catholic Hospital in Toronto with concerns about their treatment of homosexuals. The Catholic hospital, said Hawkes, responded in a way that he did not expect. They immediately "educated their staff on gay and lesbian issues, they started to treat gay and lesbian couples as full couples before the law required them." He added: "They put a rainbow flag into the foyer, they put signs up for Pride Day."

Suresh Dominic of Campaign Life Catholic responded to the recent revelation about the hospital, saying, “It is sad to see St. Michael's hospital promoting the homosexual agenda. In the past the same hospital has funded the 'Gay Pride' parade. A Catholic institution should know well that promoting such a destructive lifestyle is against Christian charity. The idea behind such a decision is gravely malformed.
(Could one also use the word perverted?)

Repeated attempts to contact representatives of St. Michael’s Hospital were not returned by press time.

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 8:10 AM 6 Comments

New Years Resolutions I Fully Intend To Break...
And how long it'll take me

1. Cutting some slack to Barack Hussein Stoogus Maximus Obama. That resolution won't make it to the end of me typing out this posting.

2. It's time to stop trying to rationalize my sins by telling my Father Confessor - "...but Father! He deserved it!". This one could take quite a while. It's become a battle of wills between me and my priest.

3. It's time to stop teaching "my kids" lines from Scarface and Full Metal Jacket (for those that didn't know, I work with disabled kids). This resolution shouldn't even be seriously considered as long as my boyish charm keeps working on the Center Director.

4. Whenever I get into an argument with the House Sergeant Major, I've gotta stop walking over to my framed picture of Lt. Gen. Lewis B. "Chesty" Puller, USMC (ret) and yelling to him - "Chesty, SHE'S PISSIN' ME OFF AGAIN!!". That' resolution'll last until she pisses me off again.

5. I really must stop my practice of driving by the more liberal-minded Novus Ordo Self-Worshipitoriums and crossing myself saying "...if You're really present, Lord". This resolution should actually last quite a long time. At least until I actually drive by one of 'em.

6. To become more rational, more empathetic, more caring towards those who disagree with my ecclesiastical beliefs, world view and overall opinions. I've got to strive to get more in touch with other people's feelings, especially my own... even more so, my femenine ones.
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BWAHAHAHAHA.... *pant, pant*... BWHAHAHAHAHA... *oh shit, you're killin' me, Smalls!*... BWAHAHAHAHA...*cough, cough*... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 12:00 AM 8 Comments

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

It's Never A Good Thing Not To Have The Confidence Of The Troops
When all else fails... ask a Lance Corporal

It's not scientific. It certainly isn't all encompassing, but it gives a pretty good snap-shot of how the troops feel about the incoming C-I-C. Not good.

Here's some of the article from the Chicago Sun-Times; (Emphasis mine)
Troops' support of Obama iffy: poll
MILITARY TIMES SURVEY 6 of 10 have doubts about new commander-in-chief

When asked how they feel about President-elect Barack Obama as commander in chief, six out of 10 active-duty service members say they are uncertain or pessimistic, according to a Military Times survey.

In follow-up interviews, respondents expressed concerns about Obama's lack of military service and experience leading men and women in uniform.

"Being that the Marine Corps can be sent anywhere in the world with the snap of his fingers, nobody has confidence in this guy as commander in chief," said one lance corporal who asked not to be identified.

Underlying much of the uncertainty is Obama's stated 16-month timetable for pulling combat troops out of Iraq, as well as his calls to end the ''don't ask, don't tell" policy to allow gays to serve openly in the military, according to survey responses and interviews.

Nearly one-third of respondents -- including eight out of 10 black service members -- said they are optimistic about their incoming boss.

The findings are part of the sixth annual Military Times survey of subscribers to Army Times, Air Force Times, Navy Times and Marine Corps Times newspapers. This year's survey, conducted Dec. 1 through Dec. 8, included more than 1,900 active-duty respondents.

The responses are not representative of the opinions of the military as a whole. The survey group overall under-represents minorities, women and junior enlisted service members, and over-represents soldiers.
And of course, there will be those that scream homophobia at the military.

And never let it be said that those in the Service of their country aren't a practical lot. Boiled down, professional warriors (well, and anyone with an ounce of common sense) understand that there's only one way for the bolt carrier to be placed in the upper receiver of the M-16A2. Period.

And anyone who denies the simple mechanics of human sexuality is the same type of individual who would try to load a magazine with the pointy end of the bullets facing towards the butt stock. No pun intended.

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 6:05 AM 3 Comments

Monday, December 29, 2008

D'Ja Ever Wonder Why...
Random thought on a Monday morning

Someone recently commented (I forget who, and apologies to) that the Ecumaniacs in The Church love using the phrase Catholic-Christians. Isn't that pretty much along the lines of me referring to my male-father or my female-wife?

And speaking of redundancies, am I the only one who realizes that the Protestant inspired novelty de jour of receiving Holy Communion under both Species brings into question if the Consecrated Host really is The Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Christ?

Yes, yes... I've heard the argument that receiving The Precious Blood is a "fuller partaking of The Eucharist". But doesn't that also entail that the Consecrated Host is somehow lacking or insufficient?

Just a thought.

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 8:09 AM 23 Comments

Ahhhh... Inculturation
Have you seen any statues like this in your parish?



"Santa Muerte" is being passed off as a pious Mexican devotion on All Souls Day. It couldn't be further from the truth. It's satanic. And unfortunately, I've heard storied of 60's wannabe-hippie priests are welcoming this into their parishes. Stupid gringos.

Here's some of the article from SperoNews.com; (Emphasis mine)

Santa Muerte is no saint, say Mexican bishops
The Roman Catholic archdiocese of Mexico City condemned devotion to Santa Muerte "Saint Death" that masquerades as authentic Catholic Christianity.

According to a statement by Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Mexico City on November 3, 2008, popular devotion to the so-called "Saint Death" is not compatible with the Catholic faith. It also noted that Saint Jude Thaddeus – known to Catholics worldwide as the intercessor for lost causes - is not the patron saint of criminals or drug traffickers.

The statement noted that "many people who commit crimes believe that St Jude is their patron saint," and added that "In no way would this saint be interceding before God in heaven for those who act contrary to the commandments of Christ, violating the precepts of Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery."

The Archdiocese of Mexico noted that true devotion to St Jude "is completely the opposite of the devotion to 'Saint Death,' as Christ himself overcame death in his glorious rising from the tomb, promising eternal life to those who keep the commandments of the law of God."

The growing devotion to 'Saint Death', which grows more prominent as the feast of All Souls approaches, has become popular in recent years in parts of Mexico. Roman Catholics and other Christians celebrate November 1st as All Saints Day, followed the next day by All Souls in commemoration of all the faithful departed. In Mexico and Central America, this Christian practice has been infused with non-Christian elements of ancestor worship or even occult practices.

It made news in the US in early March 2005 when its putative leader led a demonstration in Mexico City protesting against the Mexican government’s reconsideration of his group’s status as an officially registered "church."

While their dispute is with the Mexican government, much of their anger is directed at the Catholic Church, which has warned the faithful to beware of the cult and its tendency towards Satanism.

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 12:00 AM 2 Comments

Sunday, December 28, 2008


What’s this? A Roman Pontiff actually upholding 2,000 years of Catholic teaching? Say it ain’t so!!

The way things are going in Rome these days, the next thing this man will do is return us to that vile Latin language, Gregorian chant, turn the altars around and…and…..ban altar “girls” and Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion. This can’t be happening??

Cardinal Mahony and retired (and disgraced) Archbishop Weakland are, no doubt, having a “hissy-fit melt-down.”

Pope Benedict criticizes homosexual behavior

Reuters
Monday, December 22, 2008
VATICAN CITY: Pope Benedict said Monday that saving humanity from homosexual or transsexual behavior was just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction.

The Church "should also protect man from the destruction of himself. A sort of ecology of man is needed," the pontiff said in a holiday address to the Curia, the Vatican's central administration.

"The tropical forests do deserve our protection. But man, as a creature, does not deserve any less."

The Catholic Church teaches that while homosexuality is not sinful, homosexual acts are. It opposes gay marriage and, in October, a leading Vatican official called homosexuality "a deviation, an irregularity, a wound."

The pope said humanity needed to "listen to the language of creation" to understand the intended roles of man and woman. He compared behavior beyond traditional heterosexual relations as "a destruction of God's work."

He also defended the Church's right to "speak of human nature as man and woman, and ask that this order of creation be respected."

posted by PreVat2 at 11:14 AM 7 Comments

Marines Give Obama The Cold Shoulder
Respectful, but unimpressed

Here's a bit of the article from ABC News; (Emphasis mine) Obama Visits Marine Corps Base for Christmas

President-elect Obama stopped by the Marine Corps base in Hawaii Kaneche Bay
(do they mean Kaneohe Bay MCAS?) where servicemen and -women were eating Christmas dinner in Kailua Thursday evening.

As Obama entered the room, it was absent of the regular fanfare of cheering and clapping. The diners were polite, staying seated at their respective tables and waited for the president-elect to come to them to stand up.

The president-elect spent about an hour with the troops. Obama transition aides say that Obama did not eat with the uniformed men and women -- he ate at his beach home with his family and friends Christmas night.

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 5:29 AM 14 Comments

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Pascal’s Wager And The 2008 Election
And why the American bishops need to apply the same logic

Anyone remember Blaise Pascal? He was the French mathematician, physicist, and religious philosopher who used reason and mathematics to prove the existence of God. For Pascal, God either exists or does not exist.

This is what's better known as Pascal's Wager. One must bet on one or the other. This wager is unavoidable. Simply ignoring it carries the same consequence as betting that God does not exist.
~ If I wager for and God is -- infinite gain (Salvation).

~ If I wager for and God is not -- no loss, but gain (Due to living a virtuous life).

~ If I wager against and God is -- infinite loss (Damnation).

~ If I wager against and God is not -- neither loss nor gain (no hell, but a meaningless life).
Now we're treated to this bit of obvious from the Washington Post; (Emphasis mine)
Religion's Big and Unprecedented Role in '08 Politics

The unprecedented and extraordinary prominence of religion in the 2008 election was easily the year's top religion story. Both parties battled hard for religious voters, and both were forced to distance themselves from outspoken clergy whose fiery rhetoric threatened to become a political liability.

In the end, the top prize went to Obama, the son of a Muslim-born father and an atheist mother, who spent much of the campaign fighting off persistent -- and untrue -- rumors that he was a closet Muslim. His party, after years of consistently losing churchgoers to Republicans, decisively won Catholics, Jews and black Protestants, and made small but significant inroads among some evangelicals.

Obama and Biden faced strong opposition from Catholic leaders over their support of abortion rights. One American cardinal, James Stafford, called Obama's election "apocalyptic,"...
And in droves, Catholics ignored their shepherds. And what's even worse, in the case of most bishops, there was nothing but cowardly silence. Or even more despicable, pathetic attempts at verbal gymnastics as to why they weren't staunchly defending Church Teachings.

But now it's time for Caveman's Wager - either the USCCB is effective/needed or not.
~ If I wager that the USCCB is effective/needed and they actually are -- I win.

~ If I wager that the USCCB is effective/needed and they actually are not -- I lose.

~ If I wager against the USCCB being effective/needed and they actually are -- I lose.

~ If I wager against the USCCB being effective/needed and they actually are not -- I win.
Keep in mind, since the founding of the USCCB in 1966, the fidelity of American Catholics has plummeted (click here for "The Incredible Shrinking Catholic Church"), the majority of members of the USCCB protected rapists, and not one single pro-abortion "Catholic" politician has been excommunicated to date.

Face it, laying money in favor of the USCCB is a sucker's bet. Care to bet on it?

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 6:36 AM 7 Comments

Hurry Up And Announce...
So I can get busy here in North Carolina!

As I've said before, the RINO's (Republicans In Name Only) had their chance. And screw things up mightily, they did. Thanks to the likes of McCain, Romney, Huckabee, etc., we've lost the White House, the Senate, the House and most of the governorships.

Here's some of the article from UPI; (Emphasis mine)

Jindal aide hints at presidential bid

BATON ROUGE, La., Dec. 26 (UPI) -- A senior aide to Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal says the political newcomer could focus on a U.S. presidential bid if conditions are right.

The unidentified Jindal aide said any potential White House bid by the 37-year-old politician would be based on how U.S. President-elect Barack Obama did during his first two years as head of state, Politico said Thursday.

"Tell me where Obama is sitting at the end of 2010," the aide said. "Timing is everything." Louisiana political observer John Maginnis supported that stance, telling Politico that Jindal would only consider a presidential run if Obama is a "unmitigated disaster."
If the Blago debacle is any indication of how the first two years of an Obama administration will be, Jindal might as well announce now.

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 12:03 AM 2 Comments

Friday, December 26, 2008

Full Metal Santa
Helmet tip to NYPD Green

WARNING! EXTREMELY Harsh language alert!!

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 7:26 PM 5 Comments

As The Trickle Turns Into A Flood
The Pope needs to hammer these people ASAP

WARNING! Harsh language alert!

Open rebellion. That's the only way I see it. And it needs to be the pope himself to come down hard on these idiots. God knows he can't count on the bishops.

I find it amazing that Archbishop Lefevbre was so-called "excommunicated" for defending the Traitional Latin Mass, but these idiots essentially tell the Catholic Church to go to hell, and are still memebers in good standing? What bullshit. Just as soon as this Maryknoll Fifth Columnist get his ass shit-canned, the rest of these Chicks With Pyx can pack their shit and haul ass, too.

Here's some of the article from The California Catholic Daily; (Emphasis mine)

"Medieval punishment”
National nuns’ group urges Vatican not to excommunicate defiant Maryknoll priest

A national group of nuns has come to the aid of a Maryknoll priest who has been told by the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith to renounce his support for women’s ordination or be excommunicated. The Vatican’s warning to Fr. Roy Bourgeois stems from an Aug. 8 ceremony at a Unitarian church in Lexington, Kentucky, during which Dana Reynolds, a Carmel-by-the-Sea woman who claims to be a Catholic bishop, participated with Bourgeois in the attempted ordination of a “womanpriest.”

In a press release, the National Coalition of American Nuns announced that more than 100 Roman Catholic nuns from 22 religious congregations have written the Vatican protesting the threatened excommunication of Bourgeois. The Dec. 12 letter, according to the NCAN announcement, says the Vatican's excommunication threat "has diminished our Church."

The nuns expressed the view that "excommunications depend not on edicts or laws, but on compliance" by the faithful, so that, if the faithful do not exclude or shun someone from the community, they are not excommunicated. The letter asserts that Bourgeois is not outside the community because the nuns themselves "embrace him wholeheartedly."

"In the first century, Christians resolved their disagreements about following traditions such as circumcision and kosher dietary laws by dialogue and discussion," said Sister Beth Rindler, speaking for NCAN. "We need to follow their example by promoting public discussion about the ordination of women," the Franciscan Sister said.

"We hope the excommunication is not issued," said Dominican Sister Donna Quinn, one of the coordinators of NCAN. "The medieval punishment of excommunication serves only to embarrass our Church in the eyes of the world and fuels further anger and resentment among the U.S. faithful." (Really? It'll tickle the livin' shit outta me.)

"Many of the signers have served the Church for more than 40 or 50 years. Many are prominent leaders in their fields," said Loretto Sister Jeannine Gramick, another NCAN coordinator. She pointed to Mercy Sister Theresa Kane, who made worldwide headlines when she asked Pope John Paul II to open all ministries to women on the occasion of his first visit to the U.S in 1979, and Dominican Sister Carol Coston, who founded Network, a Catholic social justice lobby. She also noted the signatures of Benedictine Sister Joan Chittister, a prolific writer in the field of spirituality, Notre Dame Sister Ivone Gebara, a noted Brazilian feminist theologian, and Loretto Sister Maureen Fiedler, host of the public radio show Interfaith Voices.

The nuns' statement said they "join Fr. Roy Bourgeois and the majority of U.S. Catholics, who believe that women are called to priestly ordination in the Catholic Church."

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 8:45 AM 13 Comments

Thursday, December 25, 2008

All I Want For Christmas Is Stripes
No... not THAT Stripes!

NYPD Green recently posted something that I've had on my mind ever since. Specifically, he said - "...you wouldn't want to stand in front of St. Peter and have him ask you why you do not have any scars, would you?"

And that got me thinking about what St Paul said - 2 Corinthians 11:23 (Douay-Rheims Bible) - They are the ministers of Christ (I speak as one less wise). I am more; in many more labours, in prisons more frequently, in stripes above measure, in deaths often.

And as we all know, by "stripes" St. Paul meant scars from whippings.

But I digress... for all those weak in their Faith, be they lay, Religious or cleric, may WE take the stripes of suffering for them.

For all those ashamed of loving Christ and His Church, be they lay, Religious or cleric, may WE take the stripes of suffering for them.

For all those who are lukewarm and attempt to be everything to everyone, be they lay, Religious or cleric, may WE take the stripes of suffering for them.

For all those who really do know better, but are timid to make a stand, be they lay, Religious or cleric, may WE take the stripes of suffering for them.

Charity covers a multitude of sins. Seeing that so many fellow Catholics, be they lay, Religious or cleric, have thrown aside their cross of suffering, it might be a good idea if we take it up for them.

I can think of no better gift for The Christ Child.

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 12:05 AM 6 Comments

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Be Proud of Being Catholic
Something to think about this Christmas...

This was forwarded to me by "The Egyptian" ... thanks, friend!
"Be Proud of Being Catholic" (Excerpts of an article written by Sam Miller, prominent Cleveland Jewish businessman - NOT Catholic)
Submitted by Dee Lynd.

Why would newspapers carry on a vendetta on one of the most important institutions that we have today in the United States, namely the Catholic Church?

Do you know - the Catholic Church educates 2.6 million students everyday at the cost to your Church of 10 billion dollars, and a savings on the other hand to the American taxpayer of 18 billion dollars. Your graduates go on to graduate studies at the rate of 92%, all at a cost to you. To the rest of the Americans it's free.

The Church has 230 colleges and universities in the U.S. with an enrollment of 700,000 students.

The Catholic Church has a non-profit hospital system of 637 hospitals, which account for hospital treatment of 1 out of every 5 people - not just Catholics - in the United States today.

But the press is vindictive and trying to totally denigrate in every way the Catholic Church in this country. They have blamed the disease of pedophilia on the Catholic Church, which is as irresponsible as blaming adultery on the institution of marriage.

Let me give you some figures that you as Catholics should know and remember. For example, 12% of the 300 Protestant clergy surveyed admitted to sexual intercourse with a parishioner; 38% acknowledged other inappropriate sexual contact in a study by the United Methodist Church, 41.8 % of clergy women reported unwanted sexual behavior; 17% of laywomen have been sexually harassed. Meanwhile, 1.7% of the Catholic clergy has been found guilty of pedophilia. 10% of the Protestant ministers have been found guilty of pedophilia. This is not a Catholic Problem.

A study of American priests showed that most are happy in the priesthood and find it even better than they had expected, and that most, if given the choice, would choose to be priests again in face of all this obnoxious PR the church has been receiving.

The Catholic Church is bleeding from self-inflicted wounds. The agony that Catholics have felt and suffered is not necessarily the fault of the Church. You have been hurt by a small number of wayward priests that have probably been totally weeded out by now.

Walk with your shoulders high and you head higher. Be a proud member of the most important non-governmental agency in the United States. Then remember what Jeremiah said: 'Stand by the roads, and look and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is and walk in it, and find rest for your souls'. Be proud to speak up for your faith with pride and reverence and learn what your Church does for all other religions. Be proud that you're a Catholic.
Reprinted excerpts with permission of the Buckeye Bulletin -Be Proud of Being Catholic
(written by a Jewish Friend!)

posted by Cookie at 4:06 PM 4 Comments

Obama Has Done It Now!
LGBT Crowd is pissed and wants Blood!

Ah the fruits of liberalism and socialism unleashed! In my disgust and displeasure over our country and our fellow Catholics abandoning all of their moral binding I forgot one important thing. Liberals and socialists are a damned funny bunch!

This week Obama pissed off the LGBT crowd by asking Rick Warren to say the prayer for his inauguration. UH! OH! Just hear some of the comments from the wackadoos caught up this is disordered lifestyle:

"Gays and lesbians are angry that Barack Obama has honored Warren, but they shouldn't be surprised, Obama has proved himself repeatedly to be a very tolerant, very rational-sounding sort of bigot."
John Cloud, Time Magazine Dec. 18 Edition

"Giving that kind of mark of approval and honor to someone who has frankly spoken in ways I and many others have found personally very offensive, I thought that was a mistake for the president-elect to do," Congressman Barney Frank (D), MA, on CNN's "Late Edition."

"it seems that Obama is having a little PJSD here, as in Post Jeremiah Stress Disorder. Having nearly had his campaign destroyed by the tapes of his former pastor Jeremiah Wright blasting America as a hopelessly racist nation, Obama seems compelled to close his eyes to one of the most powerful forms of conservative-driven bigotry left in this country." Derrick Z. Jackson, Boston Globe, Dec 23, 2008.

I could show all of the insane comments from the sexually confused mobsters that are posted all over the place in response to articles bashing Obama. These people believe they have crossed the threshold in the last election and intend to make certain that NOBODY screws it up for them.

The next story will be that at least one of the Obama's daughters will need to be steered toward the lesbian lifestyle so that Obama can prove he is not bigoted. See the LGBT crowd does not want equality, they want exclusivity. They want to be the most protected, the most victimized, the most aggressive, the most loved, and the most hated. They want it all and they want it now....sound familiar?

Anyway back to how this is funny. Well you see the South Side Stooge, who we all know is pretty darned liberal, and has supported all things LGBT. He does this one little thing in inviting Rick Warren and WHAM, the homos lower the boom. In reality I am thinking that the only reason he invited Rick Warren was to repair his reputation in regards to Jeremiah Wright. Poor Obama. One of these nut jobs has actually said that the only way to correct this major slap in the face to the LGBT community is to appoint William White to Secretary of the Navy. William White is an openly gay man who apparently is being supported by some retired military leaders. This is according to a Washington Times Report. Imagine how well that will go over with our military, of course the uniforms will be to die for.........

Unfortunately what the LGBT has forgotten or has not yet learned is that Obama cannot be a racist bigot. He is black and as I have learned over the years there is no way that a black person can oppress and so no way for a black person to be a racist bigot. They do not have the power! Of course Obama is half white and is the President-Elect....so maybe....he is a racist bigot. Now I am confused I need to "phone a friend" anyone got Al Sharpton's number handy?

I love liberal on liberal action, does this make me a homopolitico?

posted by Simplex Vir at 10:15 AM 7 Comments

Now THAT'S A Christmas Present!
David Spade just became an honorary Catholic Caveman

WARNING! Crude humor alert!

From his stint on SNL, to Just Shoot Me, to Tommy Boy, to Joe Dirt, to The Show Biz Show, David Spade's brand of sarastic, smart-ass humor has always made me howl. But the latest news concerning young Mr. Spade has caused me to have a whole new respect for him.

Here's the entire article from Fox News; (Emphasis mine David Spade Buys High-Powered Rifles for Local Police Department
Tuesday, December 23, 2008

By Adam Housley

LOS ANGELES — Actor and one-time Phoenix resident David Spade has donated $100,000 to the Phoenix Police Department. The department will use the much needed funds to buy high-powered rifles to
defend the city from the growing influence of Mexican drug cartels.

Through his publicist, Spade explained that
"these guys need to be able to do their jobs, and I am just happy I could help."

Spade says he got the idea for the donation after seeing a story on FOX News. Phoenix police say Spade called asking to donate to their rifle program after he saw that officers, outgunned and desperate for more firepower, wanted to buy their own semi-automatic rifles.

“Mr. Spade has stepped forward and has given a gift to our officers of increased safety," said Police Chief Jack Harris. "I am thrilled that we were able to accept that money that will hopefully bring us to 300 rifles on the street.”

Phoenix Police Sgt. Alan Hill says 50 AR-15 rifles to be purchased with the donation will be given to patrol officers.

Spade, 44, grew up in the Phoenix area and graduated from Arizona State University. The "Rules of Engagement" star has helped out cops before, donating $25,000 to the family of a fallen Phoenix police officer last year.
For those of you unfamiliar with the wit and wisdom of David Spade, here's some of my favorite lines as Dennis Finch from Just Shoot Me;

Dennis Finch: You couldn't score in a monkey whorehouse with a bag of bananas.

Dennis Finch: Oh, I just remembered. You're boring. And my legs work.

Elliott DiMauro: I'm creepy?
Dennis Finch: Like a backrub from grandma.

Nina Van Horn: I like to think of my body as a temple.
Dennis Finch: Which explains why there's a line to get in on Friday nights.

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 12:07 AM 5 Comments

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Gee, I Thought Jesus Didn't Know Any Oppressive Tax Collectors Until He Grew Up
Let the Obaworship begin!

A couple of months ago, my buddy Dymphna, posted this example (right) of religious Obagasm that's sweeping the nation. Ahhh... how lucky we all are to have The Chosen One amongst us!

But the dance sensation that's sweepin' the nation has just gone international, and I don't mean thousands of heaving, sweaty, wild-eyed Kraut Socialists chanting Obama's name over and over and over and over (There's simply something fundamentally wrong with a bunch of Heinies screaming some dude's name over and over again).

Anyhow, enjoy a bit of blantant stupidity from NewsMax; (Emphasis mine) Obama New Top Wise Man In Nativity Scenes

NAPLES -- President-elect Barack Obama and his wife, Michelle, are appearing in Italian nativity scenes this year, alongside the baby Jesus and wise men, according to Naples craftsmen selling figurines in the run-up to Christmas.

But beyond the thousands of angel, sheep, Mary and Joseph figures filling market stalls before Christmas, craftsmen say Obama has become a top seller.

"The ones we are selling the most of are those of Barack Obama, America's new president, along with his wife, Michelle," said craftsman Genny Di Virgilio.

One nun, Angelica, scoffed at what she called a "cartoon version of a nativity scene."

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 8:16 AM 8 Comments

Monday, December 22, 2008

Isn't this wonderful?
And to think I have a perfectly good stake in my backyard going to waste

WARNING! Harsh langua... aww, hell. You know the drill.

I know rank heresy (and total bullshit) when I see it. Downplaying the Sacrament of Confession... turning up his nose to preaching SALVATION!? Literally, for the love of God, The Holy Father needs to shit-can this neo-Prot ASAP. No... I take that back. This guy wouldn't even make a good Protestant. Neo-Pagan is more correct.

Here's some of the article from The Telegraph (of London); (Emphasis mine)
Church teaching on birth control could be wrong, says English Catholic bishop
Posted By: Damian Thompson at Dec 18, 2008

The über-liberal Bishop of Arundel and Brighton, Kieran Conry, has given an astonishingly frank interview to Andrew M Brown of The Catholic Herald. One well-known priest's reaction: "I'm still picking up my jaw off the floor."

Me too. Here's a list of the things Bishop Conry says in the interview:

1. The Church's teaching on birth control "could be wrong" and is not infallible. Asked if Humanae Vitae was a mistake, he says: "I don't know."

2. "You can't talk to young people about salvation," says the bishop, because that concept means nothing to them. Instead, talk in their language - for example,
about saving the planet.

3. Asked if frequent confession is a a good idea, he replies: "No, because my own experience when we had Confession every day at St Chad's Cathedral in Birmingham was that regular penitents came back with exactly the same words week after week. So there you would say, actually, there is no conversion taking place."

4. He insists that Summorum Pontificum is not intended to provide ordinary Sunday Tridentine Masses. He paraphrases the Pope as saying: "Have it [the traditional Mass] but not as part of your standard Sunday repertoire."

These are shocking things for a bishop to say. I've thought for a long time that Kieran Conry, a thoroughly decent and compassionate man, should resign as Bishop of Arundel and Brighton: he is too partisan, too out of sympathy with aspects of the Magisterium, and his misrepresentation of Summorum Pontificum is outrageous.

And yet, at least he has the guts to speak his mind. Several leading bishops of England and Wales share these views; but surreptitiously. They are too cowardly to reveal what they really think, except in semi-private gatherings of Magic Circle hangers-on. Now +Kieran has let the cat out of the bag. Let's see what happens next.

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 12:54 PM 8 Comments

Vatican News Alert!!! New Priest Assignment Announced For The Office on Addressing Liturgical Abuses!!!















Go ahead, I dare you to try and hold his hand during the Our Father!!!

posted by Unknown at 12:07 PM 10 Comments

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Cavey Goes Novus Ordo!!
Yet again

As I scroll across a few websites of various dioceses, I'm simply amazed at the number "ministries" for the myriad of racial and ethnic groups. Ahhh... the Balkanization of Catholicism! Let's celebrate what separates us instead of what unites us!!

But anyhoo, I'm feeling left out. And it is all about me. How about those of us of mixed Guamanian, Irish and German ancestry? Don't we rate?

Guess not. So I've decided to launch my own lil' ministry. Pacific Islander Irish German Formation And Religious Training (PIIG FART).

And as we all know, you can't have PIIG FART unless you have Priestly Faith Formation and Training (PFFT). Maybe I can get a cleric or two to come on board (or at least a really really really really smart liturgist).

But could I be getting ahead of myself? I just could be! After all, everyone knows that you can't have PFFT without Theologians Undergoing Rigorous Discipline in the Seminary (TURDS).

But I think I may have to tread lightly. If this gets out of control, we'll all come down with Discipleship In Action Reinforcing and Regurgitating Heresy to Everyone Around (DIARRHEA).

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 3:52 PM 7 Comments

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Chiming in on Our Lady of Lourdes
Hang tough OLL!!! It's better to fight than switch!!!

First off, I'd like to thank Vir Speluncae Catholicus for posting about the debacle that the good people at Our Lady of Lourdes in Massapequa Park Long Island are enduring right now as you read this.


(Read,Join The Our Lady Of Lourdes Rebellion! here )

Sheeesh!!! Where to start? AWOL priests, pro-gay music directors, musical chairs in front of the Altar, pro abortion/gay marriage political guests of honor are among the many subplots you can dive into with this soap opera. Sad thing is, this is not fiction. It is really going on and good people are suffering as they watch their beloved parish, 'Go Hollywood', under the direction of the USCCB's media Golden Boy, Msgr. Jim Lisante. I don't know what Bishop Murphy of the Diocese of Rockville Centre was thinking with this appointment. He obviously does not know his flock and what makes them tick. I mean, you have people who attend OLL because they want the Mass in the Extraordinary Form and he gives them a pastor that makes as one of his first appointments, a musical director whose prior work includes directing a cute little off-Broadway musical titled, My Big Gay Italian Wedding . You have people who go there because they want frequent access to the Sacraments and he gives them a pastor who not only spends the majority of his time away from the parish and rectory, but also cuts the time allotted for Confessions in half. The good people of OLL chose that parish because they wanted the Truth and they wanted it delivered without the syrup or theatrics, by good men like their old pastor Father Mason. This man is a priest 24/7 and his Love of Christ and His Church shows no compromise with the enticements of the secular world. So what does Bishop Murphy follow up this humble server of Gods Sacraments with?

He gives them this...

Uhhh....Nice shirt Monsignor. They sell men's clothes where you bought that???

I guess that this is what it feels like, going from On the Waterfront's Father Barry to what looks like the Frank Nitti of the Lavander Mafia. (I joke to mask my disgust over what has transpired up there. Bad jokes or the sound of me retching, take your pick.)

If this rant sounds like it is a bit personal for me, well it is. OLL is the parish of my wife's parents. You will not find a finer Traditional Catholic couple than my dear in-laws. My FIL was a Lieutenant in the FDNY and my MIL was a Catholic school teacher. Despite the highly admirable callings that they pursued, their greatest accomplishment is the job they have done in nurturing the six souls that God entrusted them with, in their love and knowledge of their Catholic Faith. Apples do not fall far from their trees and I owe them a lifetime of prayers for the benefits I've gained from their fruit. God really knows what He is doing, so I guess the only way He was going to penetrate this dense Brooklyn/Irish skull, was to put a fiery, captivating, 'Curly Red-haired Girl' into this Charlie Browns life. Although, He did not give me just a pretty package for a soulmate, he gave me someone with a faith. A well-formed faith. Good Catholics are not born that way, it takes years of formation. While myself and much of the rest of the VII generation that I grew up with let our hair down and did a liturgical dance out the door, you still had a few families like my in-laws that did not let their Catholic identities get choked out by all the germs that followed through the window along with all that 'fresh VII air'. They catechised their children and gave them well formed consciences and a desire to defend their Faith and to serve God.

So folks like my in-laws, as well as a large number of younger Catholic families on the south side of Nassau county, who were no doubt tired of the formation of morals that were more malleable to the influences of the secular world rather than to solid Catechism or Catholic doctrine found a home in OLL. Here they flourished under a priest more concerned with saving souls than with face time on FOX news. What gets me is that I just can't figure out how Bishop Murphy thought he could pull off placing a pastor in there that is such a drastic contrast to Father Mason in this parish. I mean, what makes him think that a Traditional parish, is going to be schmoozed by a priest like this? Lisante might be able to attach a Conservative label to himself in the media world, but his silver tongue and well coifed 'doo' isn't going to get him anywhere with people who actually know their faith. They can see when the Emperor is naked and they can smell a turd when you hold it under their nose.

Anyway, while I feel for all those involved, it is the older parishioners my heart goes out for most. They've fought their battles already. They have passed down the true traditions and teachings of the Catholic Church where many bishops and priests failed. They stood out for their unwavering adherence to Catholic teaching while many of their friends and neighbors were abandoning it to better fit the rest of the world. We have a good friend down here in Wilmington who is getting up there in years. Like Vir Speluncae Catholicus and many others from our area, he would make the trek up to Dunn or Rocky Mount to go to The Latin Mass. He goes less frequently due the health of his wife, the cost of gas as well as the time it takes to get there. I look at this good solid example of male Catholicism and it kills me to see him ache just to have a priest give him a good penance instead of the more common, "oh, don't be so hard on yourself" that is more the norm down here. This generation of Catholic defenders deserve better. They should not be fighting with despair over the state of the Church.

As for those that are of my generation? My prayers are with all those who have suffered from these changes in their parish. But please, for the sake of those who preceded as well as for those who follow, soldier on. What you are defending is most certainly worth it. Besides, you wouldn't want to stand in front of St. Peter and have him ask you why you do not have any scars, would you?

Stay strong OLL!!!

St. Michael the Archangel, Defend us in battle!!!

posted by Unknown at 9:42 PM 13 Comments

Friday, December 19, 2008

The Mainstream Media Catches Up With The Lair
Haven't we been saying this all along?

Here's some of the main points from an article by The American Thinker; (Emphasis mine) Is Obama vulnerable to blackmail?
By James Lewis

Suppose you're Bashir Assad or Putin, and you watch the Blago Blowup, a month before the next president even takes office. What are you thinking right now?

First, Obama looks vulnerable to blackmail. His homey network is full of people who can't stand the light of day. They know all kinds of things the leftist media suppress -- people like Auchi (the Iraqi billionaire), Rezko (the corrupt Syrian multimillionaire), Emil Jones (the Godfather of Southside), and the whole Daley Machine.

That's not even counting the freaky radicals or the pols Obama has surrounded himself with. Mayor Daley's brother is one of the official transition leaders, for heavens' sake, along with Valerie Jarrett and a whole, privately paid operation that doesn't have to follow Federal rules on transparency, lobbying or accounting.

Leverage on the people around Obama is the first step. So you ask your handy secret agents in the US to beat the bushes for more blackmail material. Easy enough. Chicago is a Machine town, and there's always a rumor mill in a town full of neighborhood taverns.

Here's what else the spy masters are sure to be wondering.

1. Is there an organized crime connection in the Obama network? Not just Chicago politics, but drug money, prostitution, extortion, racketeering, money-laundering, violent Soprano types. In a political monolith like Chicago wouldn't you keep an eye out for that -- if you were running China's Red Army Intelligence, let's say?

2. Can Machine politicians be played to ask favors of their friends in the administration? Bill Clinton allowed the sale of missile launch secrets to the Chinese. Is there something China wants very badly that some Machine pols can get for them? Or the North Koreans? Or the mullahs? Or Putin?

3. Even if the US prop-media won't publish anything bad, Patrick Fitzgerald is investigating corruption on Obama's turf. A financial record mailed anonymously could prove a valuable lead for investigators. Such threats could provide unbelievable arm-twisting power in DC.

4. What about obvious DC corruptocrats like Harry Reid (Nevada real estate), Barney Frank (banking scandals), Chris Dodd (ditto), the folks at Treasury who are handing out a trillion dollars to favored banks in secret? Such men may have other secrets. And if they do, how can a ruthless foreign secret service exploit that?

We know that the media keep explosive secrets and threaten to expose them if they don't get their way. Some politicians do it, and the Federal bureaucracy does it. The New York Times has dumped one huge CIA leak after another, just to sabotage the Bush Administration and its foreign policy objectives.
Why shouldn't the Chinese? The Saudis? The Syrians and their close friends in Tehran? Maybe the North Koreans are carrying on an international trade in Washington secrets?

Nobody knows Fitzgerald's real reason for triggering the Blago circus, rather than following his Plame strategy and walking the cat up the hill. The appointment of Eric Holder at Justice might have triggered that warning, since Holder could fire Fitzgerald. Fitz might be firing a warning shot across the bow of the Daley Machine, to signal that yes, you've got the White House now, but don't go too far. But there are other possibilities. This could be a hidden battle between Clinton holdovers and Obamanistas. There might actually be some honest patriots at Justice, trying to stave off a new wave of corruption. Or it might be exactly as Fitzgerald claims. (You never know).

Whatever the truth may be, you can bet that all the embassies and spy services are looking for ways to exploit this mess. Obama, Axelrod, Rahm and their friends have already exposed a lot of weak spots in the next administration.

Welcome to the Big Leagues, Slugger.

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 5:55 PM 2 Comments

The Elephant That Couldn't Tie It's Own Shoes
Otherwise known as The Catholic Church

Talks about your mixed signals. First we have this turd of a story from LifeSiteNews.com; (Emphasis mine) Merry Christmas: V-Monologues Unwrap $1K from Boston College Students and Support from Theology Dept.

MANASSAS, Va., December 18, 2008 (LifeSiteNews.com) – The student senate at Boston College voted to allocate $1,000 in college funds for increased 2009 campus productions of The Vagina Monologues. The Observer reports that a list of co-sponsors, including the theology department, was presented to the students in support of funding productions of the oft-criticized play.

The Vagina Monologues is a sexually explicit play that favorably describes lesbian rape, group masturbation, and the reduction of sexuality to selfish pleasure.
And within 45 seconds of reading the above article, I stumble across this lil' bit 'o disturbing from The Catholic News Agency; (Emphasis mine) Wherever youth seek answers, the Church must be there, Holy Father teaches

Vatican City, Dec 18, 2008 / 12:12 pm (CNA).- For the celebration of Vatican Television’s 25th anniversary, the Holy Father met with the station’s staff, contributors and advisors. After thanking them for their service to the Church, Pope Benedict emphasized that new ways must be found to spread the Word of God to the youth in places where they look for answers and meaning for their lives.
Dear Holy Father,
It's kinda hard to teach youth "the answers and the meaning of their lives", when your own priests, theology departments, and institutes of higher learning are the very same ones who corrupt and poison the very same young minds.

Like the saying goes... "if you want your children to lose their Catholicism, be sure to send them to a 'Catholic' college. If you want to be damn sure they lose it, send them to one run by the Jesuits."

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 8:04 AM 3 Comments

Always Fun To Know Stuff
But most of you already know this!

During the English Martyrdom, Catholics in England were not permitted to practice The Faith openly. The punishment for being a priest was death. The punishment for having Mass said in your home was that the entire household (including children) were put to death.

Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember. -The Partridge in a Pear Tree was The Blessed Virgin Mary and The Christ Child.

-Two Turtle Doves were the Old and New Testaments.

-Three French Hens stood for faith, hope and love.

-The Four Calling Birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.

-The Five Golden Rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.

-The Six Geese A-Laying stood for the six days of creation.

-Seven Swans A-Swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.

-The Eight Maids A-Milking were the eight beatitudes.

-Nine Ladies Dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.

-The Ten Lords A-Leaping were the Ten Commandments.

-The Eleven Pipers Piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.

-The Twelve Drummers Drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.
Maybe pass this onto your kids. And then remind them that the Latin Mass they just attended use to bring the death penalty.

Saints Oliver Plunkett, Edmund Campion, and Thomas More, Ora Pro Nobis.

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 12:38 AM 8 Comments

Thursday, December 18, 2008

By Their Fruits You Shall Know Them...
And by "fruits", I mean faggots

It's about damn time. And I've posted about this LifeTeen bullshit before (make sure you check out the pictures on the last posting). But like I said, it's about damn time. Enjoy.

Here's the entire story from the Tucson, Arizona's KVOA website (Emphasis mine); Priest who created own ministry is excommunicated

PHOENIX (AP) - Phoenix's Catholic bishop has excommunicated a priest who started a nondenominational ministry after the priest was charged with misdemeanor sexual misconduct.

The action announced Monday against Monsignor Dale Fushek, once the diocese's second highest-ranking administrator, was a response to his creation of the Praise and Worship Center in Chandler.

In excommunicating Fushek and another Catholic priest who helped open the ministry, the diocese makes no mention of the criminal charges against Fushek. Fushek and the other priest are now prohibited from receiving the church's sacraments.

In his criminal case, Fushek is accused of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, indecent exposure and assault stemming from hearing confessions and counseling boys between 1984 and 1993.
Who was it again that said something about millstones being tied around the necks and subsequently casting into the sea those who would harm the little ones? Well, in this case, Lake Havasu will do nicely.

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 12:05 AM 12 Comments

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

This Is What You Wanted, America...
This is what you get

Here's some of the article from the Catholic News Agency. Try not to puke too much. Oh... and don't expect to hear a helluva lot of protest from the USCCB (maybe a few have their boyfriends marching). Obama ‘proud’ to have homosexual band march in inaugural parade

Washington DC, Dec 10, 2008 / 04:48 pm (CNA).- President-elect Barack Obama and Vice President-elect JoeBiden have officially invited the Lesbian and Gay Band Association to march in the Inaugural Parade. One of the association’s web sites reports that the group will also march in September as part of the homosexual “Southern Decadence” festival infamous for its public lewd acts.
"I am honored to invite these talented groups and individuals to participate in the Inaugural Parade," said President-elect Obama. "These organizations embody the best of our nation's history, diversity and commitment to service. Vice President-elect Biden and I are proud to have them join us in the parade." The main web site of the Lesbian and Gay Band Association hosts a YouTube video reportedly showing 250 of its members marching in the 35th Annual Village Halloween Parade in Greenwich Village in New York City.

The YouTube video, titled “Male Witch Marching Band – Halloween NYC 08,” (below) shows a glamorously dressed man followed by two people wearing fairy costumes. They lead a band of people dressed as witches who play the song “Gimme Some Lovin’.”




The marchers were attendees at the LGBA’s 2008 conference, titled “Deliciously Wicked.” “The weekend more than lived up to its name,” the web site states, noting the conference’s receptions, parades, performances, and costume ball.

As of Wednesday morning, the web site for the LGBA’s 2009 conference in New Orleans, lgba2009.org, describes conference plans, saying “We will also be marching in the Southern Decadence Parade on Sunday, September 6th.”

The web site reports that the LGBA conference will be held as part of Southern Decadence and Decafest. The site links to the Southern Decadence festival, which has often been targeted for protest because of its extreme indecency. In 2003, the Atlanta Journal Constitution reported that it had “become routine” for men to flash their genitals and perform public sex acts at the event, which bills itself as “the Gay Mardis Gras.”

“The city's wildest neighborhood gets even crazier as the French Quarter is packed for the entire event,” the Southern Decadence festival’s current web site says. In its Frequently Asked Questions section, the web site tells those with “an interest in the adult film business” that a pornographic filmmaker will be in attendance.
In a statement on its web site, the LGBA said its participation in the Presidential Inaugural will be “truly our chance to make history.”

In total, 1,382 organizations applied to participate in the Inaugural Parade. Many of the groups approved to march in the parade are high school bands.What happened to the good old day when we could laugh at fairies? I wonder if Obama bin-Biden has signed these guys up yet?

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 9:00 AM 8 Comments

Hussein Can You See....
By Barack's early light

WARNING! Harsh language alert!

Well, well, well. During the campaign, it was strictly verboten for anyone to even dare mention that dip-shit's middle name is Hussein. But now he announces that he'll be using the very same name when he places his right hand on his dog-eared copy of Das Kapital and takes the oath of office.

(Heaving a heavy sigh) -- If ya can't beat 'em... join 'em. From here on out, here's what your crack team of Jurassic Journalists shall be known as (alphabetically listed); Confi-Hussein-teor
Coo-Hussein-kie
Former Hussein Altar Boy
NYPD Hussein Green
Pre-Hussein-Vat2
Simplex Hussein Vir
Vetus Hussein Melius Est
Vir Hussein Speluncae Catholicus
I dunno 'bout you, but I'm gonna hope in one hand, and shit in the other. I wonder which one will fill up first? But hey, next month all that pixie dust is gonna get slung all over hell's half acre, and ev'rthang'll be just peaches and cream.

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 12:08 AM 0 Comments

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Upchuck Weekly just may become a daily feature...


From NCR (if there were ever a Cave Blog Award... which is a funny visual... this one would take top honors for Worst "Catholic" "News" Source) arises another spew-worthy editorial. Where do they FIND these people??

Proof that most young people are idiots: Our Journey to Holy Union (emphases and comments mine)
By Kate Childs Graham, contributor to the "Young Catholics" page

About a month before Proposition 8 passed in California Nov. 4, taking away an array of human rights, and the U.S. bishops decided to team up with the Knights of Columbus to make the “preservation of marriage” one of its key focuses for the next five years, (how pig-headed of them!) my partner, Ariana, and I made our commitment to one another.

Our marriage was not "legal" by terms of the District of Columbia or the institutional Catholic church. Yet, in our eyes and in the eyes of our friends and family, our union is indeed holy. (Please. Define holy.)

As society has not yet defined the norms for our relationship the way it has for heterosexual couples, we had the freedom to be the architects of our own journey. Church of Me-Ism! Hooray! And so, when Ariana and I initially realized that we were building a lifelong partnership, we had the opportunity to choose whether or not we needed or wanted a ceremony to mark our commitment.

After many discussions, we decided that not only did we want to have a wedding ceremony in order to express our love and commitment to each other in the presence of the Creator, our friends and our family, but we also wanted to take the year before the ritual to traverse through our version of a Pre-Cana marriage preparation program.

Our Pre-Cana was quite different from the Pre-Cana courses that many heterosexual couples go through kicking and screaming. Because GOSH, when I'm thinking about making a life-long commitment to someone, the VERY LAST thing I want is someone with real experience suggesting ways to improve our chances of lasting in a world of divorce. GEEEEEZ. *kick* *flail* Diann Neu, co-founder and co-director of the Women's Alliance for Theology, Ethics, and Religion (WATER), walked with us through the journey.

She challenged us with questions we had not thought to ask or were afraid to ask. We discussed everything: finances, children (hint: you don't get to have any), fair fighting, spirituality and so on. We tackled the last-name debacle and settled on a combination of our mothers’ maiden names. (Because can you imagine having our FATHERS' names? PATRIARCHY!! OPPRESSION!!!) We came to new levels of understanding -- and, sometimes, new levels of misunderstanding.

After we had journeyed through several months of our Pre-Cana, realizing that the work of communication would never be finished, we turned our focus to our ceremony. Diann helped us understand that we were the priests of our wedding. (I'm not even touching this one. Your screens might explode. And we cavepeople haven't invented fire insurance yet.) With great care, we crafted every moment of the ceremony to reflect a delicate balance of Ariana’s Unitarian Universalist tradition (aha!) and my "Catholic" faith tradition.

We each chose a reading -- my pick was from the Book of Ruth (feminist literature this is NOT, but ok, twist Holy Scripture however you like. Your "wife" IS UU, after all), while her choice was Alice Walker’s “While Love Is Unfashionable.” The songs -- “Morning Has Broken,” “Water Is Wide” and “Swimming to the Other Side” -- each signified an important aspect of our relationship. With Diann’s expertise, we even managed to create a beautiful eucharistic prayer (AHHHH!!!!) that was inclusive of our faiths and the faiths of all who celebrated with us.

In the end, we had a ceremony that was truly us. (Note: no GOD in this equation, just these two "ladies.")

The year of preparation flew by and before we knew it our friends and family were arriving from all over the world for the affair. The ceremony, held at a local Swedenborgian church (who what now?), was everything we had imagined it would be from the moment our families lit the candles to our tear-filled exchange of vows to the closing prayer when our family and friends raised their hands to bless us. No prayer to Gaia/Diana/Rosie O'Donnell?

And, of course, no wedding would be complete without a party to follow. Because that's what weddings are all about. Bust out the free liquor! We led the parade of guests to a small restaurant around the corner for dinner. At the reception, folks shared songs and poetry, laughter and tears. Wait, that sounds a lot like a repeat of the ceremony... From the deep holiness of the ceremony (sorry, I missed that part of the story where you mentioned holiness ANYWHERE...) to the lighthearted humor and love of the reception, Ariana and I both felt blessed to have had the opportunity to marry one another surrounded by those closest to us.

In the days following our holy union, fully sated by our love and the love of our community, we did not necessarily feel any change in our relationship. For us (us us us! me me me!) , our marriage was and is about the journey, and the ceremony was one marker along the path. However, our story is just one of many. And surely, other stories will vary greatly, as what it means to be family comes in a multitude of shapes and sizes. Still, common themes will certainly arise — love, commitment, passion, devotion and so on. Oh yeah, and mortal sin.

Indeed, this past month has offered many challenges to the LGBTQ community and society at large. The institutional Catholic church and the state cannot take away our commitment to each other. However, as my legal right to marriage and family has been called into question, I have felt that attack on my life and the lives of my friends deeply.

My only hope is that these stumbling blocks on the road to justice will help open the dialogue, compel more people to tell their stories of love, and bring our church and our world closer to a discipleship of equals.

Oh, just GROSS. I'm not opposed to the idea of "civil unions" for whoever/whatever wants them... quite frankly it'd be nice to get health benefits for my dying laptop... but the idea that this idiot girl can (or wants to) claim "Pre-Cana" and "holy union" and "marriage" just makes me want to hurl.

The source features a picture of their "wedding" photo. It looks like a bad prom picture. The butch haircut doesn't help either.

Also, I would like to know where her "Catholicism" comes into play in this story AT ALL, other than some vague Jude0-Christian references and the fact that she's posting this sacrilege on a "Catholic" news website.

posted by Cookie at 10:56 AM 12 Comments

Ora Pro Nobis

click on each photo for info
Our Lady of Akita
"The work of the devil will infiltrate even into The Church"
    Our Lady of Akita
    Our Lady of Covadonga
    Our Lady of Covadonga
    Father Duenas
    Fr. Jesus Duenas ~ The Patriot Priest
    Father Casey
    Ven. Fr. Solanus Casey ~ The Simple Priest
    Ven. Fr. Vincent Capodanno ~ The Medal of Honor Priest
    Abp. St. Paulos Faraj Rahho ~ The Martyred Priest
    ___________

    Now you can tell family & friends that you're a REAL BLOGLODYTE!

    Don't be stupid, be a smarty. Come and join the Cavemen party!
    __________

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