Sunday, May 31, 2009

I Wonder If The American Indian Public Charter School Is Looking For A History Teacher?
Get 'em, Dr. Chavis!

"We are looking for hard working people who believe in free market capitalism. . . Multicultural specialists, ultra liberal zealots and college-tainted oppression liberators need not apply."

To be honest, I initially thought this was a parody from The Onion. Turns out to be (thank God) true. Here's their "Common Sense" link on their website;
COMMON SENSE & USEFUL LEARNING AT AIPCS
by Dr. Ben Chavis

1. The school facility is open daily from 8:30am until 4:00pm, except Saturdays, Sundays, and all holidays known to mankind.

2. The staff of AIPCS does not preach or subscribe to the demagoguery of tolerance.
Anyone who does not follow our rules will be sent packing with their rags and bags!

3. Squawkers, multicultural specialists, self-esteem experts, panhandlers, drug dealers, and those snapping turtles who refuse to put forth their best effort will be booted out.

4. Boot-licking or self-promoting is not allowed by any politician who enters our classrooms. Politicians should beware: teachers are on duty!

5. We do not believe standardized tests discriminate against students because of their color. Could it be many of them have not been adequately prepared to take those tests?

6. The staff does not allow students to wear hats, gold chains, or ear-bobs in the building. Adults are not allowed to use cell phones, beepers, and other gadgets in our school.

7. Dr. Chavis does provide psychological evaluations to quacks and Kultur specialists on a sliding scale. See him immediately for such rates.

8. All solicitors should note the nearest exit upon entering this institution of learning. We view such alley cats with a fishy eye.

9. No more than one psychologist or school administrator is allowed in our school at a time. This rule is part of our commitment to high academic standards.

10. Photographs of the Director of Staff are on sale at the front office. Payment must be made in advance. CASH ONLY! The photographs will be sent to you by pony express.

11. The staff of AIPCS is of the first rank. We request that you do not flirt with them. They will accept your cash donations!

12. Visitors are welcome daily. Due to the time it takes to re-educate university visitors, we are limiting their number to a maximum of four individuals a week.

13. It will be difficult for our staff to meet with those educational experts who "know it all." We are willing to meet with such tomcats on Halloween night.

14. How does anyone convince a Billy Goat or taxpayer that school administrators possess above average intelligence? How will we address this educational dilemma?

15. Our staff does not subscribe to the back swamp logic of minority students as victims. We will plow through such cornfield philosophy with common sense and hard work!

16. If you wish to share any suggestions regarding this page, our common sense
committee accepts suggestions from 8:30am to 8:31am each holiday.

6 Comments:

Blogger Joe of St. Thérèse said...

This school kicks butt, I'd love to work for this school. Just might found one myself.

1:23 PM  
Blogger Joe of St. Thérèse said...

This school kicks butt, I'd love to work for this school. Just might found one myself.

1:23 PM  
Blogger StarbucksMom... said...

I would have never believed this school existed, and in Oakland CA of all places? Wow!

2:00 PM  
Blogger Thomas L. said...

Ha, now THAT's how a school SHOULD be! If only our "Catholic" schools would adopt half of those rules.

8:25 PM  
Blogger Al said...

Now that the news is out, I wonder how long it will be before California or Federal Education officials step in & ruin a good thing.

12:20 AM  
Blogger Arkanabar T'verrick Ilarsadin said...

The reason it's in Oakland is because the people there are NOT sufficiently stupid or insane to believe that typical public schools will suddenly reverse decades of failure and start actually trying to discipline and teach children.

In other words, Dr. Chavis is responding to market demand.

4:56 PM  

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