Saturday, May 30, 2009

VSC's Top 25 Sure Fire Pick-Up Lines
Sure to fail

If you're easily offended, I suggest you pass on this posting. 25. Damn, you look good through beer goggles.

24. I'm sine squared theta; you're cosine squared theta. Together we are one.

23. You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister.

22. You don't sweat much for a fat chick.

21. Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

20. If you were a woman, I'd so have sex with you.

19. I've got a knife - get your coat.

18. You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

17. You had me at 'get the hell away from me nerd, before my boyfriend comes over here and beats the shit out of you'.

16. If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

15. I am a magical being... take off all your clothes.

14. So, you're a girl huh?

13. Hi, I have my own place... well, my own room... in my parents basement...

12. Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.

11. There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....

10. Don't worry about all my missing teeth. It just means that there is more room for your tongue.

9. You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

8. So....How am I doin'?

7. I can tell by the way you're ignoring me that you really want me...

6. Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?

5. So, do you like fat guys with no money?

4. I may not be the best looking person here, but I’m the only one talking to you.

3. Excuse me, miss? Hi, I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my fraternity rush, and one of the things on my list is... ummmm... a weird chick.

2. You know, if I hacked your arms off, you'd look just like the Venus de Milo.

And the #1 pick-up line of all time ----

1. Hi. You'll do.


Blogger TCN said...

I thought you just clubbed them over the head and dragged them into the cave by the hair. Silly me.

10:52 PM  
Blogger Paul, just this guy, you know? said...

The Extraordinary Wife says #24 would work on her.

But I recognize #2 as being a line from a Weird Al Yankovic song.

11:20 PM  
Blogger chestertonian said...


If my wife heard me laughing at these, she'd kick my ass. Good thing she's asleep and I can laugh quietly.

11:28 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

You have me at a disadvantage, Paul. I'm unfamiliar with that song.

But it's a helluva line!!

11:30 PM  
Blogger Former Altar Boy said...


12:15 AM  

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