Wednesday, November 04, 2009

And I Thought Bill Clinton Had A Screwed Up Family Tree
Move over, Bubba

Bill Clinton really isn't Bill Clinton. He's really Bill Blythe IV. And his real daddy was married three times before he married lil' Billy's real momma, who by the way, was married five times. And Bill Blythe III had different babies by different mommas, and Billy IV never met at least one half-brother an' one half-sister.

And no, I'm not making this up.

Anyhow, not to be outdone, the President of Rope and Chains also has family members falling out of his family tree every time someone shakes it.

Many of us were somewhat taken aback when we found out DingleBarry has a half-brother living in a 6X9 foot shack in Kenya, and also happens to be subsisting off of one dollar a month.

Then the news come out that he also has an aunt who is in this country illegally, and also is on the public dole AND living in public housing.

But wait! There's more! And no, I'm not making this up.

Turns out now that The South-Side Stooge also has another half-brother. Half-Kenyan, half-yourguessisasgoodasmine. And why am I not surprised... he lives in People's Republic of China.

And it turns out that Daddy Obama was a real son-of-a-bitch.

According to the First Half-Brother;
Mark Ndesandjo Wednesday broke his silence to speak of their abusive father at the launch of his first novel.

"My father beat me. He beat my mother. You just do not do that," he told a press conference hosted by the American Chamber of Commerce in South China and attended by representatives of the US Consul-General here.

"I remember in my house, I would hear the screams. I would hear my mum's pain. As a child, I could not protect her."
Hmmm... "Nightmares My Father Told Me"?

And no, I'm not making this up.


Blogger David Nandell said...


Should I be embarrassed because I know my father and mother? Should I be embarrassed that they've never divorced/remarried?

It seems society, right down to the President, is telling me I should be.


St. Athanasius, Ora Pro Nobis

8:31 AM  
Blogger Suzelle said...

Does this mean the Nobel Prize money will go to finance indoor plumbing?

Nah! That would suggest that Obama might be concerned about his fambly's living conditions.

12:22 PM  
Blogger tuleesh said...

Good Lord! Ndesandjo looks a lot like the FAUXTUS!

1:40 AM  
Blogger David said...

Well, ain't that the American Dream? Cletus the slack-jawed yokel gets to become POTUS?

I consider him an evil bastard for his beliefs, not his family. If this story says anything about the state of his soul it is because of his lack of charity with respect to his dodgy relatives. Family is family. I'm a white guy with a normal sorta family tree. You know...married parents...born almost a year after the said marriage..look like my divorces in the family tree, but had my old man strayed, and were I in a position to help, I think I would.

4:58 PM  

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