Tuesday, November 03, 2009

THIS JUST IN!
Via e-mail, that is
Obama wins the Heisman Trophy after watching a college football game

His name was submitted for the award by George Soros just moments before Obama actually watched part of a game on television aboard Air Force One.

Obama learned about the Heisman while travelling to accept an Academy Award for his appearances in post-election campaign ads.

Obama said: "I will accept the Heisman trophy in the name of all the minority players who are being denied the opportunity to play college football simply because of their grades, lack of ability or incarceration ".

The White House also announced today that Obama has reluctantly been persuaded by his staff and the ACLU to present himself with the Presidential Medal Of Freedom for the outstanding deeds he hopes to accomplish sometime in the future. A decision on his Congressional Medal of Honor has been temporarily sidetracked because of minor technical issues concerning eligibility.

In the meantime, decisions on the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, as well as the economy, have been delayed indefinitely due to the president's busy schedule of public appearances. When asked what involvement he will have in the healthcare bill named in his honor, Obama replied: I will probably vote "Present".

3 Comments:

Blogger Kindred Spirit said...

Just one question--for which Olympic event do you think Obama will win a gold medal in Spain?

1:08 AM  
Blogger Kindred Spirit said...

Sorry. I meant Rio, of course; but then, on second thought, Obama just might be able to get Olympic games for Spain, too--just as long as Chicago is eliminated for the second time.

9:42 AM  
Blogger Hail3N1 said...

Just like he won the Nobel Prize after watching a Mother Theresa film.

4:47 PM  

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