Friday, June 29, 2007

For Shame, Padres...
Helmet tip to my goomba, Motes

WARNING! This post contains crude and explicit language. If that may offend you, don't read it.

Over the many years, I've had plenty of reasons to be embarrassed of my beloved Padres. The decades worth of losing seasons, those ugly-ass uniforms back in the 70's, Ted Leitner, the list is endless. I had plenty of reasons to be embarrassed... but never was. Until now.

You see, the July 8th game will be promoted as “Out in Petco Park”, also known as "Pride Night". That's right.... it'll be Queer Night at the old ball yard. Complete with the National Anthem being sung by the Gay Men's Chorus of San Diego (I hope they don't screw-up the line "...that our flag was still there"). Oddly enough, this promotion also falls on the day that all kids under 14 get in free. Smart move. Talk about lambs among wolves.

Now there are those who defend this action by saying that this is just another promotion. After all, Petco Park will also have an Episcopalian Night. So what? They can't tell the difference between a Bishop and a Queen. Ahhh... and we also are told that Petco Park also recently held Harley-Davidson Night and Bowling League Night. Folks, "Pride Night" isn't based on a love of motorcycles or bowling. This is based solely and exclusively on a deviant and abnormal sexual perversion. And it's being celebrated?

Baseball is suppose to be about dad taking his son to learn and love America's Past Time, not so Sonny-Boy can ask, "Daddy, why are those two men kissing?" Baseball isn't suppose to be about being subjected to the Gay Men's Chorus of San Diego lisping their way through the Nathional Anthem. Baseball is suppose to be about peanuts and crackerjacks, not penis and the crack of Jack.

And besides, confusion will reign at the ball park that night. Who the hell will know who's pitching and catching? If a batter slaps a homer, as a sign of respect and solidarity with the Sodomites-In-The-Stands, will said hitter run the bases backwards? Will we see the pink bats, yet again? Will the Queers work themselves into a big gay frenzy if they find out that any given player is a switch hitter, has to go to 1st because he has four balls on him, or was once accused of having a corked bat? And for the love of God, when Hoffy comes out in the bottom of the ninth, don't play any AC/DC.

And what makes this most embarrassing, our own Bishop Brom is conspicuously silent. But then again, he is kinda side tracked with legal trouble right now. Something about him protecting homosexual rapist "priests". I wonder if His Sexcellency will be in the stands July 8th?


Blogger St. Jimbob of the Apokalypse said...

I'm surprised that you can even tolerate living in the same state as Sodom-by-the-sea, the blight has been shown to spread.

8:34 AM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Orthodoxae said...

Baseball is suppose to be about peanuts and crackerjacks, not penis and the crack of Jack.

LOL! Jim Cornette couldn't have said better him self.

12:22 PM  
Blogger Matthew said...

The same thing happened with MY favorite Team "Toronto Blue Jays". About 4 or 5 years ago they had their Gay Day at the Park and it was so sick.

2:39 PM  
Blogger PaulaB52 said...

It's really a shame that it conensides with kids get in free night. You know, a household with the mom staying home is usually strapped for cash. Freebies are much appreciated. Imagine if you had been planning to take your kids for a free night of baseball, only to find out it's Gay night. Poor kids will be so disappointed. No way in heck would I take my kids to the ballgame on gay night.

3:10 PM  
Blogger Lynne said...

It could be worse. The 'event' could be led by the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy team. They 'helped' the Red Sox at the Sox event last year.

I don't believe the Yankees have had one of these 'events'...

6:06 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Will "head first slide" mean the same thing that night?

Will it be intentional "skip" instead of "walk"?

Will all the hot dogs be sold out by the top of the second with discarded buns everywhere?

If a lesbian goes to the concessions for a cold one,will she return with Rosie O' Donnell?

Way to run with it Bro.Knew I could count on you. Kind of reminds me of troll chasing on the board in the good ol' days!!

"And for the love of God, when Hoffy comes out in the bottom of the ninth, don't play any AC/DC"

ROTFLMAO!! Classic!!

6:55 PM  
Blogger Former Altar Boy said...

If he shows, er, I mean attends, Bishop Brom will probably be in one of the skyboxes. Hope they aren't serving "foot longs" that night!

8:45 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Orthodoxae said...

LOL! Mike, what I told Cavey.

11:23 PM  

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