Sunday, March 01, 2009

And Here's Another!!
I think it's time for a contest

WARNING!! Crude Marine Corps Humor And Harsh langu... blah, blah, blah.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I posted that the below was e-mailed to me, and I've since penned the now infamous 2009 Federal Government Spendulus Application.



Well, by golly... I just noticed this lil' gem as I was surfing the net. I think it's time for a contest... don't you?


The Top Ten Reasons Bucket-Head Is Holding A Guv'ment Check In Front Of Him;


1. "Ya think anyone notices I'm copppin' a feel off the Statue of Liberty? Ooh, la la! You French chicks are so sexy!"

2. "Sniff, sniff. Smells like someone else's money. Lick, lick. Tastes like someone else's money. Touchy, feely. But it's in my hands. Must be my money."

3. "If I eat enough of these damn things, I really will be able to shit money everywhere."

4. "Great! Now no one will know it's really me screaming 'Allahu Akbar! I keel you all!!'"

5. "Hmm... I wonder why all the writing on the back is in Chinese? Interesting. But I'll worry about that tomorrow."

6. "All these will I give thee, if falling down thou wilt adore me."

7. "Ohhh... there's that dreamy Chris Matthews! I wonder if he can see the tingles all over my body?"

8. "How can I be broke? I still have blank checks!!"

9. "Hooray! Massa Soros gived me fav dollahs fo' bein' a goood lil house niggah an' doin' as I wuz tol'!"

10. "How's that old saying go? 'The check's in my mouth and I promise not to... something 'er other... in the mail'"? Is that it?

4 Comments:

Blogger Al said...

OK, how are we supposed to top the 10 you've already put up here?

9:44 AM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Al my good goomba, I have all the faith and confidence that you'll top those..... easy!

1:22 PM  
Blogger Al said...

1. The good news - to let you know your stimulus check is in the mail.
The bad news - to let you know that under the new tax law any stimulus check you get is taxed at a rate of 12,000%. Due yesterday!

2. Obama inspects the newly designed federal check form made of rubber.

3. Nobody ever told me that I'd have to sign every check myself.

4. (Going through the checks to pay back those who helped get him elected) Let's see, 1 for Planned Parenthood, 1 for ACORN, 1 for Gov. Blagovich (oops, better not let anyone see that one.)1 for Oprah . . .

5. Here at Crazy Barry's Used Autos we have the widest selection of used auto manufacturers available, all for for $12,000 or less.

6. Pay to the order of SATAN, 1 soul - Barry O

7. There is no reason 7

8. From the same people who brought you the Washington gold tone dollar with a picture of Obama painted on it, now we are offering the latest collector's item - the Obama federal check.

9. What do you mean my checks no good here? I'm the Obamessiah!

10. What do you mean, I need 2 forms of ID? I'm the Obamessiah!

12:41 AM  
Blogger Al said...

CAUTION ADULT THEME RATED XXX

2 MORE TO ADD

11. OK Michelle here is your stimulus, now can I get mine.

12. Obama mails off the check to his pharmacist to pay for his latest prescription of Viagra/Cialis/Levitra. (Your choice)

1:27 AM  

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