Sunday, February 15, 2009

There's A Sucker Born Every Minute
And he's usually led along by a Stooge

I just received the below in an e-mail.


This reminded me that a few posts back, Charlotte commented; My husband works in a public library. He says since Obama got elected, people routinely come up to the reference desk asking for the form to fill out to get their bailout.

That got me thinking... what exactly would a bailout form look like?

2009 Federal Government Spendulus Application

1. Do you know who's your baby's daddy?

2. How many years have you been working at McDonald's? If more than four (4), is flipping burgers considered skilled labor among your peer group?

3. Do you get a tingle up your leg whenever you hear President Obama's voice?

4. By what grade-level did you finally learn your A,B,D's?

5. How many times did you vote for President Obama in the 2008 election?

6. Do you currently have an outstanding balance due on any of the following automobiles; Lexus.
Tercel.
Le Baron.
Forenza.
7. Have you named any of your children the following; Lexus.
Tercel.
Le Baron.
Forenza.
8. Are you readily aware of your tax history for the past three (3) years? If so, apply for one of the many exciting and interesting opportunities still available within the Obama Administration... please.

Note: Having actually paid taxes not a pre-requisite.

9. Do you consider the moslim call to prayer "one of the prettiest sounds on earth"?

10. Do you consider the phrase "get up off your dead-ass and earn it" one of the scariest sounds on earth?

11. Do you spend more than $50.00 per month on the following food items?Taqito.
Dorito.
Cheeto.
Frappuccino.
12. Have you named any of your children the following; Taqito.
Dorito.
Cheeto.
Frappuccino.
13. With at least four (4) days notification, could you travel to Washington, DC for an outdoor Obama gala in sub-freezing weather?

14. With at least four (4) days notification, could you travel out of New Orleans before a Category Three hurricane makes landfall?

15. You consider Barack Obama to be:African-American.
Bi-Racial.
God.
16. In what form would you like your money sent to you?Check.
Cash.
Money Order.
Abortion Vouchers.
Cartons of Kools or Newports.
Sign or make your mark here: ___________________________

Application also available in Spanish, Arabic, Korean, Urdu, Aleut, White-Trash Cracker, Ebonics, Gulluh, Binary, Martian, Braille, Smoke Signals, East LA Gang Graffiti Spray Paint.
See Charlotte's husband for details.

9 Comments:

Blogger Vir Speluncae Orthodoxae said...

Another home run Cavey! And to those liberals reading this and thinking "RACIST!" I'd like to point out a couple things: 1) Obama is president and 2) How do you know he's talking about black people!

10:23 AM  
Blogger Enbrethiliel said...

+JMJ+

Bwahahahahahahahaha!

Nice one. =)

10:50 AM  
Blogger Robert said...

Sorry, I'm gonna have to snatch this gif and use it on one of my blogs.

7:07 PM  
Blogger Anna B. said...

LOL!!

7:57 PM  
Blogger TCN said...

Very nice, hilarious exactly, but let's leave the Aleuts out of this, shall we? There just aren't that many of them left and they mostly got crapped on by the government in WWII, so maybe you could pick another group that might have had a better shake?

BTW, I didn't expect anyone here to know Alaska history, but it's what I was taught before the liberals took over the schools. In AK. And yes, I grew up with Aleuts. Most of them are Russian Orthodox, which is very cool. Meant we got two Christmas'.

11:43 PM  
Blogger Al said...

Che? No Italiano Applicazione? (without using your translator that is.) After all, I am an oppressed minority, I'm a half Italiano*, 1/4 German, 1/8 Scots, 1/8 English male that is a faithful to the Pope & Magisterium Catholic who is actually working, even if at a poorly paying job, at a Catholic (alledgedly) College that talks about how places should pay a living wage & treat their employees fairly but does practice what it preaches.

*& remember, when my maternal grandparents & great grandparents came over her from Italia, they were considered colored.

If that doesn't qualify me as an oppressed minority who deserves a huge bailout check, then what does?

(Note: I am assuming your average reader will catch the uber-heavy dose of sarcasm, but for those humor challenged few who aren't regular readers & may chance to come across this & be upset, "get a life", or at least a real job.)

1:29 AM  
Blogger LarryD said...

Too funny! Thanks for the Monday morning laugh!

7:48 AM  
Blogger Joe of St. Thérèse said...

LOL!

12:08 PM  
Blogger Charlotte said...

Hilarious!

Oh that my husband could pass this around or hang it up at work, but he can't.....the "information technology" business is infiltrated with "tolerant" liberals. He works as the lone conservative at the library.

12:19 PM  

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