2009 Confirmation Test
by your local Church of Meism
First this test is multiple choice, there are three wrong answers and one correct answer. You will get credit for answers in two parts. First if you circle anything, even a wrong answer you get 50% of the point value for that question. If you circle the correct answer you get all the point value plus another 2 points for being right.
Most questions will revolve around the two commandments by the guy with beard in that picture in grandma's house; love everybody unless they don't love you, and go to church on Christmas and Easter.
The purpose of this test is to evaluate the understanding you have of your Faith and determine if you are prepared to pass on to the adult level where you don't need to be at Church every week because you already know so much. Remember this is a hard test, we need it to be hard to make sure you are a going to be a good Catholic. Good Luck!
1. Do you have to drive to get to Church?
c. My Daddy drives, I am not old enough
d. Mommy drives because she divorced my Daddy
2. What is the first thing a person should do in preparing for Mass?
a. Think of something to stand up and tell everyone during introductions
b. Talk to my friend about the pajama party we had last night
c. Walk around and say hi to everyone I know
d. Pray Father's homily is not too long
3. The Holy Father Pope Benedict is the leader of the Catholic Church, except;
a. When he says things we don't like
b. When he talks too much about homosexual behavior
c. We don't need the Pope we have the USCCB
d. When he says women can't be Priests
4. The judging of others is never acceptable, so when can you judge another?
a. When they are trying to stop abortion
b. When they want me to kneel at Mass
c. If they are homeschooling
d. If they are wearing one of those lacy things on their head at Mass
5. Essay question (write anything and you get this one right).
How does it make you feel when go to Mass and someone does not want to take your hand during the Our Father Prayer? (Extra credit if you can name some names)
Of course this is all in jest but the more I think about the paltry job we do educating our kids in the Faith this does not seem all that far fetched. I will be honest, I taught for about three years at my current parish and got burned out. Before that I taught for five years at my previous parish which was a much worse experience. The kids don't try, the parents don't care, and fathers just aren't involved enough. When I want to walk up one side and down the other I can't because it is just their mother showing up. I am a mean guy but not enough to admonish a mother. Especially since the Father is to blame.
The other disheartening thing is to see your work be thrown aside after confirmation as the kid stops coming. Fathers need to get their sorry asses in gear and step up to the plate. If your Church ain't doing it right, then do it at home. Your kid's SOUL depends on it, or have you forgotten that too!