Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Weapon Of Ass Destruction?
I thought that's what homosexuality was

The kid shoulda laid off the cafeteria chili. Hard time in the County slam for 1st Degree Flatulence? Carefully read how this was reported and handled. Sheesh... you'd think this kid was selling heroin.

From Stuart News (Palm Beach, Florida); (Emphasis mine) Student arrested for 'passing gas' at Fla. school

Monday, November 24, 2008
STUART, Fla. - A student at a Florida school has been arrested after authorities said he was "passing gas" and turning off his classmates' computers. According to a report released Friday by the Martin County Sheriff's Office, the 13-year-old boy "continually disrupted his classroom environment" by intentionally breaking wind. He then shut off some computers other students were using.

The Spectrum Junior-Senior High School was arrested Nov. 4.

A school resource officer placed the boy under arrest after he confessed about his behavior, according to the report. He was charged with disruption of school function and released to his mother.
And in keeping with President-elect Obamessiah's expanding of Hate Crime laws, there are unconfirmed reports that lil' Johnny Fartknocker is also under investigation for sporting skid marks on his skivvs, boogies in his nose, possessing an unlicensed finger while being an active participant in a non-school sanctioned game of Cops & Robbers, and accusing various pre-pubescent Gyno-American classmates of "having cooties"

It's also rumored that the State of Florida is seeking the death penalty. But not until Mr. Fartknocker completes a Cootie Awareness seminar.

3 Comments:

Blogger Robert said...

If Florida does give the death penalty, I hope it's via the gas chamber.

10:58 AM  
Blogger Joe of St. Thérèse said...

This IS a joke right? I've heard of stupid reasons of being arrested, but this is by far the dumbest.

12:09 PM  
Blogger David said...

That's just ridiculous. The kid needs a paddlin', not a trip to the slammer. But you can't hit someone anymore, even when they desperately deserve it, so we end up criminalizing stuff that used to be solved by a short, sharp application of force. You wanna carry on like a pain in the ass? Fine, I'll show you pain in the ass! But we're too "civilised" for that nowadays!

7:51 PM  

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