It is All About Mommy & Daddy

Who is really killing marriage in this country

Many of us no doubt are concerned about the effects that same-sex marriages will have on society, and rightly so. However we have not done a very good job in the opposite-sex marriage arena to display much concern for the institution either.

Mommy and Daddy have been busy little beavers. Carving up the countryside battling the world for their careers and desires. Leaving their most precious gifts to some stranger in a room full of other "inconvenient" mistakes.

I am the product of a broken home. My father and mother could not stand each other by the time I was eleven they were split up. Most of this was due to my Mom's incurable need to spend every bit of money my Dad made and my Dad's inability to remain true to his vows on the road as a salesman.

This is the iconic picture of marriage today. I am a father now and have two boys one in college and one approaching high school. Both have been very involved in Church and Sports most of their young lives. I could not bear to miss being a part of that. I remember playing soccer for 13 years growing up and my Dad was at one game in all that time. Now was he providing for the family, yes he was! Did he need to be on the road all the time to do it, no he did not. For him being on the road was a way to deal with no wanting to be at home.

In my case both of my parents chose themselves over us kids. It was a very negative result as all of us were scarred heavily by the turmoil. I remember being jealous as a kid of my friend who's Dad had died, because at least he had a reason for his Dad not being around. My older brother was in and out of prison multiple times and he still is not stable today. He has been married and has one son who is headed for trouble as well. No one knows where my younger sister is and what she is up to, she was and has been in trouble all the time and has been to prison at least once that we know about.

It is tragic to hear the prevailing thought on a troubled home these days. Everyone is certain that it is much better for parents to split up rather than see their parents fight all the time. On this point I totally disagree. See this attitude is a cop out. It is the same as telling a teenager that you can't stop them from drinking alcohol or smoking pot, so you rather them do it in your presence so they are not out getting in trouble. Be serious, as soon as you tell a person they can't control their behavior they have been given a license to be a screw up. Parents are no different.

Why must it be so easy to get a divorce? Why do parents have to be so damn selfish? If you are a person who has gone through a divorce (unless severe mental or physical abuse was involved) you are a quitter! Sorry if you spent oodles of dollars in counselling trying to stop blaming yourself....you wasted that money because you are at fault!

I think there is room for the Catholic Church to make a difference. We need Priests and Bishops to make it much harder to get married in the Church, and MUCH HARDER to obtain annulments. Again we would be treading in areas that would cause some of the "faithful" to pack their bags, but how else can we get the public to respect marriage if we don't show it enough respect ourselves.

We all know that we are in for battles in the near future, make a concerted effort to help people you know that are having marriage problems save their marriage. When you catch your friends at work doing crap that disrespects their marriage call them on the carpet! We must make it a point to foster the institution that will bear the gifts of more Priests, future families, and future Saints. Without turning around marriage in the opposite-sex world we have no moral terra firma to counter same-sex marriage.