Monday, November 24, 2008

It is All About Mommy & Daddy
Who is really killing marriage in this country

Many of us no doubt are concerned about the effects that same-sex marriages will have on society, and rightly so. However we have not done a very good job in the opposite-sex marriage arena to display much concern for the institution either.

Mommy and Daddy have been busy little beavers. Carving up the countryside battling the world for their careers and desires. Leaving their most precious gifts to some stranger in a room full of other "inconvenient" mistakes.
I am the product of a broken home. My father and mother could not stand each other by the time I was eleven they were split up. Most of this was due to my Mom's incurable need to spend every bit of money my Dad made and my Dad's inability to remain true to his vows on the road as a salesman.

This is the iconic picture of marriage today. I am a father now and have two boys one in college and one approaching high school. Both have been very involved in Church and Sports most of their young lives. I could not bear to miss being a part of that. I remember playing soccer for 13 years growing up and my Dad was at one game in all that time. Now was he providing for the family, yes he was! Did he need to be on the road all the time to do it, no he did not. For him being on the road was a way to deal with no wanting to be at home.

In my case both of my parents chose themselves over us kids. It was a very negative result as all of us were scarred heavily by the turmoil. I remember being jealous as a kid of my friend who's Dad had died, because at least he had a reason for his Dad not being around. My older brother was in and out of prison multiple times and he still is not stable today. He has been married and has one son who is headed for trouble as well. No one knows where my younger sister is and what she is up to, she was and has been in trouble all the time and has been to prison at least once that we know about.

It is tragic to hear the prevailing thought on a troubled home these days. Everyone is certain that it is much better for parents to split up rather than see their parents fight all the time. On this point I totally disagree. See this attitude is a cop out. It is the same as telling a teenager that you can't stop them from drinking alcohol or smoking pot, so you rather them do it in your presence so they are not out getting in trouble. Be serious, as soon as you tell a person they can't control their behavior they have been given a license to be a screw up. Parents are no different.

Why must it be so easy to get a divorce? Why do parents have to be so damn selfish? If you are a person who has gone through a divorce (unless severe mental or physical abuse was involved) you are a quitter! Sorry if you spent oodles of dollars in counselling trying to stop blaming yourself....you wasted that money because you are at fault!
I think there is room for the Catholic Church to make a difference. We need Priests and Bishops to make it much harder to get married in the Church, and MUCH HARDER to obtain annulments. Again we would be treading in areas that would cause some of the "faithful" to pack their bags, but how else can we get the public to respect marriage if we don't show it enough respect ourselves.

We all know that we are in for battles in the near future, make a concerted effort to help people you know that are having marriage problems save their marriage. When you catch your friends at work doing crap that disrespects their marriage call them on the carpet! We must make it a point to foster the institution that will bear the gifts of more Priests, future families, and future Saints. Without turning around marriage in the opposite-sex world we have no moral terra firma to counter same-sex marriage.

6 Comments:

Blogger Joe of St. Thérèse said...

100% right on!

1:30 AM  
Blogger nypd green said...

Amen brother.

I know way too many Catholics who view their marriage as an arrangement and not a Sacrament.

Nor do they get the needed reminder that it is a Sacrament and that they can be receiving an abundancy of graces if they live it as such, from the Altar nearly enough either.

Our old pastor actually use to mock the dynamics of a marriage and family quite frequently. Nagging wife, couch potato husband, rotten kids. Reeeeal great inspiration there.

2:56 AM  
Blogger TCN said...

Nobody said marriage would be easy or perfect. Nobody said all marriages would work out beautifully. That is no reason to say we lack the moral high ground when it comes to countering homosexual "marriage." The fact that the Church Militant is made up of sinners is no surprise. The fact that this country is made up of people who wouldn't know Christ if he knocked them down on the way to Damascus is no surprise, either. Still doesn't mean homosexuals can steal the Divine Grace of marriage for their sinful behavior, period.

Just my opinion, of course. ;)

1:42 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Orthodoxae said...

Megadittoes! It aint heterophobes who are making a mockery of the sacrament of marriage. They're just following the lead.

2:35 PM  
Blogger JesusFreak84 said...

I shared this on my Facebook, but I anticipate it being flamebait. =-p

Still,
"I think there is room for the Catholic Church to make a difference. We need Priests and Bishops to make it much harder to get married in the Church, and MUCH HARDER to obtain annulments. Again we would be treading in areas that would cause some of the "faithful" to pack their bags, but how else can we get the public to respect marriage if we don't show it enough respect ourselves."

is about the truest thing on the topic I've read yet.

7:31 PM  
Blogger Muscovite said...

I couldn't agree more. There's a couple in our parish who divorced: both weekly Mass attenders. Now the parents attend different parishes, the ex-wife has her new honey, the two kids are split up in two different households, and no one seems to notice --or everyone is too polite to comment-- that their son, who is about 12, cries at nothing, is moody, and has dyed his blonde hair black. What's clear to me is that the divorce was NOT done for the benefit of the children.

10:32 PM  

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