Tuesday, June 12, 2007

I've Been Tagged
Now if I can just keep from getting bagged

The fair Cate over at Caeli Et Terrae just got me with the following meme;

Personal Policies Meme

Here are the official guidelines:

"I think it would be safe to say that we all have personal rules that we live by. Surely it's not just ME. I'm not talking about moral rules, like "Do not kill." I'm talking about the silly policies we impose on ourselves, like "Never eat anything you can't identify," or "Don't step on sidewalk cracks." For some reason, I started mentally listing the quirky rules I follow and got curious about other people's personal rules. Hey, why not start a meme?"

And I freely borrowed from a posting I did when I first started this blog, so here are The Cavemen Personal Policies;

~ It's required to quote every line to The Quiet Man until Mrs. Caveman throws something at me and yells "shut-up, I'm trying to watch the movie!"

~ One is expected to crying at certain movies. Who amongst us didn't cry when the Drill Instructor got shot in Full Metal Jacket?

~ Three junk drawers is the minimal accepted number.

~ Certain liberal parishes deserve to have made up and rather insulting names, such as Innacurate Deception, St. Missed The Mark, The Sacred Strip Mall, etc.

~ The man has absolute power over the remote control by Divine Right.

~ A home repair kit that consists of a ball peen hammer and a roll of duct tape is deemed adequate. Oh, and butter knives are acceptable substitutes for flat-head screrwdrivers.

~ Interrogating your daughter's boyfriend with a ball peen hammer and a roll of duct tape is deemed acceptable. Oh, and butter knives, too.

~ Nothing wrong with mumbling your way through portions of certain songs where you're not quite sure of the lyrics, then screaming the words you do know in the hopes that you've just fooled everyone into believing that you really do know all the words.

~ It's required to tapping the gas nozzle against the opening of the gas tank, just so you can get EVERY LAST DROP of gas. Why is it only guys who do that? Must be something urinary.

~ Speaking of urine, it's mandatory to pee into a jar when driving coast-to-coast. God forbid you actually stop and whiz. After all, "gotta make better time and beat the traffic".

~ Speaking of driving coast-to-coast, it's required to hit the interstate no later that 0430 so we "can make better time and beat the traffic".

~ No one should have to pick up the dog poop in your back yard because it's rationalized that you're "just fertilizing the grass".

~ The last hard and fast policy ... there absolutely is a God. He gave us The Catholic Church. He sends His Holy Mother to us from time to time to let us know what's on His mind. It might be a good idea to listen to her.

3 Comments:

Blogger Cate said...

Dear Mr. Caveman: Boy, that was fast and most excellent, if I may say so; I bow to the master. We’re ROTFL here! Thanks for playing!

6:52 PM  
Blogger Joseph said...

The man can keep control over the remote, so far as I'm concerned.

Now I feel funny--I tap the gas nozzle after I fill up--and I'm a woman.

It is certainly permissable to pee in a glass jar to make good time, just so long as you toss the jar out the window, because a jar full of pee in the car is disgusting.

4:07 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Haha! Great names for liberal parishes... however, St. John's in Front Royal has been dubbed, "Our Lady of Perpetual Conception." Gotta love those trad Catholics overpopulating the place!

12:53 PM  

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