I Guess I've Been In The South Too Long
For the sake of the unedjumacated

My British buddy, Mac McLernon, has a tough time understanding me when I type Southern. So to assist the Scottish, English, Irish, Germans, Italians, Canadians, Australians, New Yorkers, and other assorted foreigners... here's a quick lesson on how to speak Southern.

Nekkid (neck-id) adj.
1. Having no clothing on the body; nude.
2. 'At boy was jus' runnin' 'round buck-ass nekkid!!

Yannah (yawn-nuh) n.
1. Presiding judge in a court of law.
2. Yannah, 'at boy just needed killin'! (Considered a legitimate legal defense in most Southern courts of law. As it should be.)

Wo (whoa) n.
1. A state of open, armed, often prolonged conflict carried on between nations, states, or parties.
2. I ain't never seen someone 'at messed up since the WO!

Sebmupp (sebb-muhp) n.
1. A colorless, carbonated soft drink.
2. Jimmy Ray, gimme a sebmupp, an' a Co-Cola fo' mah wife.

Tollit (tall-it) n.
1. A fixture for defecation and urination, consisting of a bowl fitted with a hinged seat and connected to a waste pipe and a flushing apparatus; a privy.
2. The tollit's runnin'. Someone go giggle the handle!

Yale (Yay-ull) n.
1. A loud cry; a shout.
2. Boy, ain't you never heard a Rebel Yale?

To-Up (tow-upp) adj.
1. Intoxicated with alcoholic liquor to the point of impairment of physical and mental faculties.
2. I was to-up from the flo' up!