Saturday, April 21, 2007

I Guess I've Been In The South Too Long
For the sake of the unedjumacated

My British buddy, Mac McLernon, has a tough time understanding me when I type Southern. So to assist the Scottish, English, Irish, Germans, Italians, Canadians, Australians, New Yorkers, and other assorted foreigners... here's a quick lesson on how to speak Southern.

Nekkid (neck-id) adj.
1. Having no clothing on the body; nude.
2. 'At boy was jus' runnin' 'round buck-ass nekkid!!

Yannah (yawn-nuh) n.
1. Presiding judge in a court of law.
2. Yannah, 'at boy just needed killin'! (Considered a legitimate legal defense in most Southern courts of law. As it should be.)

Wo (whoa) n.
1. A state of open, armed, often prolonged conflict carried on between nations, states, or parties.
2. I ain't never seen someone 'at messed up since the WO!

Sebmupp (sebb-muhp) n.
1. A colorless, carbonated soft drink.
2. Jimmy Ray, gimme a sebmupp, an' a Co-Cola fo' mah wife.

Tollit (tall-it) n.
1. A fixture for defecation and urination, consisting of a bowl fitted with a hinged seat and connected to a waste pipe and a flushing apparatus; a privy.
2. The tollit's runnin'. Someone go giggle the handle!

Yale (Yay-ull) n.
1. A loud cry; a shout.
2. Boy, ain't you never heard a Rebel Yale?

To-Up (tow-upp) adj.
1. Intoxicated with alcoholic liquor to the point of impairment of physical and mental faculties.
2. I was to-up from the flo' up!

7 Comments:

Blogger Al said...

You could always guide them to any of Jeff Foxworthy's books with definitions of Southern Words.

12:43 AM  
Blogger Mac McLernon said...

Heheheheh... Cavey, I was pretty sure you meant "nekkid" (and even I know enough Americanese to know that means birthday suit time!!) but what you actually typed was:

"By the way, is it just me... or does Br. Robert have a thing about portraying nearly neddik guys?"

...and the typo's still there, I checked!!
;-D

4:47 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Mac,
Thanks for catching that. It's fixed now.

Damn lexdysia!

5:18 PM  
Blogger Adoro te Devote said...

LOL!

I second the Jeff Foxworthy definitions. I'm in favor of:

y'aunttoo?

aka: "Ah'm headin' down fur a coupla beers...yaunttoo?"

and for the judge: "hizzonor"

preparing do do something:

"fittin" or "fixin ta"

And for our New York friends, this is one that confused Mexicans when I was there"


"Waddaya gonna do?"

Might as well throw a little Bronx into the midst, YA? (says the Minnesotan)

9:49 PM  
Blogger Edmund C. said...

HA! Reminds me of when I lived in England, and my friends always wanted me to do my Forrest Gump impersonation. Seeing as how when I'm around relatives, I sound kinda like him...

11:18 PM  
Blogger Jay Anderson said...

I was always told that "naked" meant "you ain't got no clothes on", while "nekkid" meant "you ain't got no clothes on and you up to somethin'".

12:00 AM  
Blogger Father Stephanos, O.S.B. said...

When I was a student in Rome about 1990, I once went to a movie theater that specialized in English-language films.

I saw "Driving Miss Daisy" there with a monk from London.

Thoughout the movie, set in the American South, the Londoner frequently needed me to "translate" the Southern dialect into something he could understand.

At one point in the movie, two women were gossiping about another. The Londoner understood one particular expression he had never heard before, but found it funny and laughed hysterically (while no one else did):
"If her daddy knew what she done,
he'd snatch her bald."

1:19 AM  

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