God, Why Did You Do This?
He was just a lil' fellah
Right around this time of year, my wife and I get pretty sad. This is when Paul James was suppose to have been born if he had made it to term. Instead, the little boy who never even saw the light of day now is in a special part of Heaven.
For years my wife never understood why God took Paul James from us. Literally, for decades my wife never understood why. Until recently.
Awhile back... out of nowhere, she quietly sobbed to me, but very matter of factly said "now I know why God took Paul James. If he'd have lived, he would have wanted to be like you and joined the Marines. He would have gone to Iraq and been killed in combat. God knew that I would never have been able to handle that. And that's why God took Paul James as a baby."
And I'm absolutely convinced that The Holy Ghost touched my wife one day and let her know exactly why we lost our son. Like the old saying goes - God never gives us more than we can handle.
It may take days, years... even decades to understand why God does what He does. Maybe not even in this lifetime. But there's a reason for everything.
As I say at the end of my daily Rosary - "Paul James, my son who occupies that special part of Heaven, pray for me son, your father. Pray for your mother, pray for your sister. Pray for all members of your family, son."
He was just a lil' fellah
Right around this time of year, my wife and I get pretty sad. This is when Paul James was suppose to have been born if he had made it to term. Instead, the little boy who never even saw the light of day now is in a special part of Heaven.
For years my wife never understood why God took Paul James from us. Literally, for decades my wife never understood why. Until recently.
Awhile back... out of nowhere, she quietly sobbed to me, but very matter of factly said "now I know why God took Paul James. If he'd have lived, he would have wanted to be like you and joined the Marines. He would have gone to Iraq and been killed in combat. God knew that I would never have been able to handle that. And that's why God took Paul James as a baby."
And I'm absolutely convinced that The Holy Ghost touched my wife one day and let her know exactly why we lost our son. Like the old saying goes - God never gives us more than we can handle.
It may take days, years... even decades to understand why God does what He does. Maybe not even in this lifetime. But there's a reason for everything.
As I say at the end of my daily Rosary - "Paul James, my son who occupies that special part of Heaven, pray for me son, your father. Pray for your mother, pray for your sister. Pray for all members of your family, son."
posted by Kevin Whiteman at
12:00 AM
8 Comments:
That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing!
You join us with a painful honor--father (and mother) of a saint.
Rest in peace, Paul James.
And Our Lord comfort and keep you in His Loving Arms, Kevin and family. God Bless you all
Friends of ours buried their 7 week old son the day before Thanksgiving. It is just plain odd to ask your son to pray for you from heaven. Children that small should never go anywhere without their mothers. I guess God knows better, but it really sucks to be left behind. Haven't cried that hard for years, yet someday all will be revealed. Eternal rest, grant unto them, Oh Lord.
Mille grazie for sharing this.
The three of you are in my prayers.
I'm so sorry for the pain you and your beloved Mrs. Cavey have endured. I know it well.
I will say a prayer that little Paul James and my eight little angels join up and pray for us as we struggle to find the grace we need here on Earth in order to expedite our meeting them in heaven.
It took me a while to stop crying and get my thoughts together to answer, 5 years ago, we lost our three year old son Anton William, (Tony), I did not see him and backed over him with my truck as I was leaving to do the evening milking, when I felt the bump, I cursed my children for leaving their toys lying around, got out of the truck and screamed for my wife, that moment haunts me to this day, please forgive me Lord for cursing my children, my heart aches and I cry almost daily, the hardest part was telling his 5 year old brother that his best friend was gone, It nearly ruined our marriage. I tell his brother Bob that he has a Saint to pray to and to help him when in trouble, I just wish I could find the relief that you have experienced, maybe some day
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