Sunday, October 07, 2007

Moslems... In... SPAAAAAAACE!!!
Three, two, one... blast off!

From the Herald Sun (Australia)

Guidelines for Performing Islamic Rites at the International Space Station, teaches the Muslim astronaut how to perform ablutions, determine the location of Mecca when praying, prayer times, and how to fast in space..."

But my spies have uncovered the real book! Here's some of it...

1. Fight the urge to fly the space station into Israel. But if you can swing it... go for it, Allah be praised!

2. Leave your goat at home.

3. Keep a sharp eye open for Salman Rushdie, we haven't seen him for awhile. If you see him, you know what to do (wink, wink).

4. Demand kous-kous in one of those really cool astro-lunch bags.

5. Don't let the infidels on the Space Station ever see you staring at planet earth muttering "I kill you all!"

6. Ensure you are photographed waving your Blood of the Martyrs University pennant. It'll make a great commercial during half-time. And try to smile this time!!

7. Stay away from Tang. It was invented by the Jews.

8. Have your "wake-up music" be the first morning call to prayer turned up full blast. Take that James Taylor and your mellow Adult Contemporary music!

9. Stay away from the infidel Americans. Remember, it's an American secret that N.A.S.A. really stands for Nearly All Sunnis are Assholes.

10. Before you leave, ensure you place a "My Little Jihaadist Can Kill Your Honor Student" sticker on the Space Station bumper.


Blogger Vir Speluncae Orthodoxae said...

Happy Battle of Lepanto day!

12:35 PM  
Blogger Coffee Catholic said...

As usual I get one heck of an abdominal workout when reading your blog...

12:32 PM  

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