Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Reasons Why I Don't Go To Church
Helemt tip to my favorite Brit, Mac over at Mulier Fortis

I remembered this set of reasons not to wash (which are the hygiene equivalent of the usual reasons given for not going to church!)

~I was forced to wash as a child.

~People who wash are hypocrites. They think they are cleaner than everyone else.

~There are so many different kinds of soap, I could never decide which one was right.

~I used to wash, but it got boring so I stopped.

~I wash only on special occasions, like Easter and Christmas.

~None of my friends wash.

~I'm still young. When I'm older and have gotten a bit dirtier, I might start washing.

~I really don't have time to wash.

~The bathroom is never warm enough in the winter or cool enough in the summer.

~People who make soap are only after your money.

~I get along very well without washing.

~I work hard all week and am too tired to take a bath on the weekend.

~The first bar of soap I ever used gave me a rash, so I haven't gone near soap since!

4 Comments:

Blogger Matthew said...

Looks like Archbishop Collins in Toronto needs to be re-educated about the Motu Proprio.

http://www.catholicregister.org/content/view/914/141/

I am so aghast

6:25 AM  
Blogger Paul, just this guy, you know? said...

You forgot, "dirt was invented by humans as a method of controlling the masses," and of course the big one, "I can be a good person without washing."

6:37 AM  
Blogger tara said...

vir...
This is sooo funny, how about: God created the great outdoors for me to wash.

9:24 PM  
Blogger Al said...

This reminded me of a bit of Thomistic Philosophical humor I came across some years ago. It was entitled "Is God Made of Soap?" Aquinas supposedly uses an alledged quote by St. Augustine to say "No, God isn't".

Here is the whole spoof:
http://cda.mrs.umn.edu/~okeefets/soap.html

2:04 AM  

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