Reasons Why I Don't Go To Church
Helemt tip to my favorite Brit, Mac over at Mulier Fortis

I remembered this set of reasons not to wash (which are the hygiene equivalent of the usual reasons given for not going to church!)

~I was forced to wash as a child.

~People who wash are hypocrites. They think they are cleaner than everyone else.

~There are so many different kinds of soap, I could never decide which one was right.

~I used to wash, but it got boring so I stopped.

~I wash only on special occasions, like Easter and Christmas.

~None of my friends wash.

~I'm still young. When I'm older and have gotten a bit dirtier, I might start washing.

~I really don't have time to wash.

~The bathroom is never warm enough in the winter or cool enough in the summer.

~People who make soap are only after your money.

~I get along very well without washing.

~I work hard all week and am too tired to take a bath on the weekend.

~The first bar of soap I ever used gave me a rash, so I haven't gone near soap since!