Thursday, January 25, 2007

The Rumors Of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated
Well, maybe not too much

As my buddy, Former Altar Boy just posted, I've been out of the loop for about a week now. What happened was, I was having some "stomach trouble" for the past few months and was finally getting off my keester to get it checked out. I thought it was either ulcers or a hyatial hernia.

Turns out it was neither. Last Thursday I was literally knocked off my feet at work and was rushed to the Emergency Room. Long story short, it turns out there were huge blood clots blocking my small bowel. We were told that the mortality rate for someone in my stage was fairly high. We were also informed that if the clots were on the left or right side of the bowel, then I wouldn't make it off the table. My only chance was if the clots were dead center. And thanks be to God, they were.

Over the next two days, I was given Last Rites twice by my wonderful, but wishes to remain anonymous, parish priest. I don't remember the 2d Last Rites, but on the first one, I remember him being clear, calm and straightforward. He would ask me "Do you understand what I just said?", and "Now slowly say your Penance to me". What an excellent priest. And that exactly what The Church needs.... priests like him. Not some Lay "Committee Member" to show up at the hospital and pretend to be a priest and rub oils all over my forehead.

My wife brought a crucifix in for me, and she made sure I had it with me up until I being taken into surgery. Mrs Caveman also told me that as I was going under, I started saying (rather loudly), the Ave Maria over and over. I wish I would have remembered that.... that would've been COOL!

Well gang, my abdomen is swollen out like I'm six months pregnant; due to the scar going from sternum to below the navel, my daughter tells me that my lucrative career as a Speedo model is over; and the Percocet has gotten my pretty well loopy.

I'll be posting a little less than usual, but still posting nonetheless. I'll be out of work for at least six more weeks.

Thanks for your prayers! May God bless you all!!

39 Comments:

Blogger Paul, just this guy, you know? said...

I'll be sure to keep you in my prayers! Get well soon!

7:24 AM  
Blogger prevat2 said...

Cave Man,
Have spoken to designated individuals. We have you in our prayers. However, it takes a whole hell of a lot to kill a Marine! I think you have many more years of kicking-up dirt on the U.S. Conference of Confused Bishiops to go.

Semper Fi buddy. CAVe MAN LIVES! Bishops furious!

8:29 AM  
Blogger Rick Lugari said...

Sorry to hear about your condition but grateful that the operation was successful. I'll pray for a speedy recovery.

8:33 AM  
Blogger St. Jimbob of the Apokalypse said...

You may want to lay off the news for a while, and give your stitches a chance to heal before swinging the club again. Prayers and best wishes.

-St. Jimbob

8:45 AM  
Blogger G. Thomas Fitzpatrick said...

Gosh, I am praying for a very full and successful recovery.

9:10 AM  
Blogger Jay Anderson said...

Prayers for a speedy recovery, Caveman!

9:15 AM  
Blogger Hammerbrecher said...

Damn I though the nips crawled through the window at night and finally got you...

Mary has your back!

9:42 AM  
Anonymous Stephen said...

I just this moment prayed a Pater Noster, Ave Maria, and a Minor Doxology for you. We need your voice loud and clear my friend! Best wishes.

Stephen

11:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope you have a speedy recovery.
Theophilus

12:08 PM  
Blogger PaulaB52 said...

I'll keep you in my prayers for a continued and easy recovery.

12:13 PM  
Blogger Carolina Cannonball said...

May you continue to have many fruitful years of being A Huge Pain In The Ass in the USCCB Ecosystem!

1:38 PM  
Blogger rev fr lw gonzales said...

Be assured of my prayers!

3:03 PM  
Anonymous Mark (UK) said...

So Caveman,

Any bright lights beaconing you, any mystic voices saying "come!". No; you know why? because you still got a job to do down here soldier, and a good marine doesn't leave his buddies.

3:18 PM  
Blogger paramedicgirl said...

You are in my prayers. Don't overdo the Percocet! Praying for a speedy recovery. God bless you, my friend.

4:30 PM  
Blogger Angry Orthodox said...

I'll be asking Saints Luke, Panteleimon, Seraphim of Sarov and John of San Francisco to pray for you as well. Now why aren't the other cavemen picking up the slack? I have plenty to say for Cavey and I'm not even on the board.

6:12 PM  
Anonymous Ken said...

God Bless, Caveman, I hope you get healthy and stay that way.

6:28 PM  
Blogger Fidei Defensor said...

I'll remember your health in my prayers, especailly when I pray the Rosary next.

6:50 PM  
Blogger Dad29 said...

Wow...

Is there a patron Saint for those recovering from bowel-surgery?

Sancte Subbowelisma, ora pro nobis?

7:23 PM  
Blogger 4HisChurch said...

Many prayers for your quick recovery, Caveman.

7:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Through the intercession of Sts. Luke, Panteleimon, Cosmas, Damien, and Gianna Beretta Molla, I pray that you heal without complication.

Dr. Eric

8:06 PM  
Blogger Ginny said...

Thank God you are o.k! You will be in my prayers for a speedy recovery. Do what the doctors say and take good care of yourself and rest. Hey maybe you can get a new pair of slippers :)

8:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Caveperson, I enjoy your blog. Hope you continue to mend and feel better.

10:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prayers and best wishes from West Bend, Wisconsin. And lay off the cheese. :)

10:08 PM  
Blogger Lana said...

Dear Hubby and I will keep you in our prayers for a speedy and full recovery.

11:29 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Wow. I'm sorry to hear that and will pray for your recovery!

7:40 AM  
Blogger Simon-Peter said...

The "clots were dead centre"...nothing else can be expected from a Marine.

"The deadliest weapon in the world is a marine and his rifle. It is your killer instinct which must be harnessed if you expect to survive in combat. Your rifle is only a tool. It is a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not kill. You will become dead marines and then you will be in a world of shit because marines are not allowed to die without permission. Do you maggots understand?"

Gunny Hartman.

9:29 AM  
Blogger A. Carlton Sallet said...

Time to storm the Gates of Heaven with thanksgiving prayers! I'll lead a skirmish line up the middle, prevat take the left flank and the rest of you take the right.

Got your six caveman.

10:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You look far too young to be having gut problems. We older people learn to live with failing digestive systems and, my health insurance company, "Just Offer It UP," doesn't encourage us to get any medical help. Your experience, however, alerts me to not take the cramps and pains so casually ... thanks for sharing your story. You are in our prayers! Get well soon.

Pel

10:40 AM  
Anonymous Carol said...

Praying for your speedy recovery.

1:08 PM  
Blogger Mike the Geek said...

May God restore you quickly to health!

3:57 PM  
Blogger Argent said...

Get well soon, Caveman!

8:32 PM  
Blogger IR said...

Vir:

I'v heard marines are full of P*** and vinagar, I'v hears sometimes they're full of something else, but They shuld never be full of clots!

God bless you! You're in the prayers, and will be remembered All The Way!

No sugar in my coffee tomarrow!

10:35 PM  
Blogger rhonda lugari said...

mmmmm Percocet. How many refills do you get?
Enjoy your recovery and I'll surely be praying for it. :)

4:48 PM  
Blogger Anita Moore said...

Hope you feel better soon!

11:30 PM  
Blogger Christine said...

You are in my prayers!

6:40 PM  
Blogger Alexander said...

Hope you are feeling better.
God Bless.

2:26 AM  
Anonymous Fr Speekman said...

Dear Vir,

Hope you recover soon and I'll keep you in my prayers.

5:28 PM  
Blogger Esther said...

Praying!!

3:40 PM  
Blogger DigiHairshirt said...

A prayer for your recovery will be offered when the Blessed Sacrament is elevated at Mass tomorrow.

11:03 AM  

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