The Wisdom Of Mrs. Caveman
Or am I just overlooking the seasonal obviousness?
I awoke early this chilly October morn'. And what greeted me as I opened the 'fridge? Yep... leftover homemade cinnamon crumb apple pie. Quicker than you could say "damn the calorie count", I sucked the remnants down my literal and figurative pie-hole.
A little bit later, the House Sergeant Major tooled through the kitchen. She saw the disposable pie tin shoved in the garbage can. In a look that only Southern women can give, she slowly looked up and said "now I just know you're going to the grocery store and get another pie.... right? And while you're at it, get a pun'kin pie, too." Note: as I've posted before, her ever so slight Southern accent gets heavier and thicker the more emotional she gets.
So anyhow, I throw back at my wife "but we haven't bought pie for months and months! Why should I have to go to the store and buy pie now!?" As soon as the words escaped my yap, I knew that was a really, really stupid thing to say.
The Old Girl just looked at me as if all my brains had just fallen out of my head. She put that scrunched-up look on her face like even she herself couldn't believe how stupid I was.
She squared her shoulders towards me and slightly bent her knees (like she was going to jump at me and shove my gray matter back in my noggin). Then she threw a crooked left arm towards the kitchen window, palm up and fingers spread... I'm not sure if it was a pointing gesture or if she was getting ready to slap some sense into me (Southern gals do that a lot).
Then came the words thick as 90 weight grease --- "BUT IT'S PIE WEATHUH!!"
How do I argue against that rationale? Oh... and I went to the store and bought the pies.
Or am I just overlooking the seasonal obviousness?
I awoke early this chilly October morn'. And what greeted me as I opened the 'fridge? Yep... leftover homemade cinnamon crumb apple pie. Quicker than you could say "damn the calorie count", I sucked the remnants down my literal and figurative pie-hole.
A little bit later, the House Sergeant Major tooled through the kitchen. She saw the disposable pie tin shoved in the garbage can. In a look that only Southern women can give, she slowly looked up and said "now I just know you're going to the grocery store and get another pie.... right? And while you're at it, get a pun'kin pie, too." Note: as I've posted before, her ever so slight Southern accent gets heavier and thicker the more emotional she gets.
So anyhow, I throw back at my wife "but we haven't bought pie for months and months! Why should I have to go to the store and buy pie now!?" As soon as the words escaped my yap, I knew that was a really, really stupid thing to say.
The Old Girl just looked at me as if all my brains had just fallen out of my head. She put that scrunched-up look on her face like even she herself couldn't believe how stupid I was.
She squared her shoulders towards me and slightly bent her knees (like she was going to jump at me and shove my gray matter back in my noggin). Then she threw a crooked left arm towards the kitchen window, palm up and fingers spread... I'm not sure if it was a pointing gesture or if she was getting ready to slap some sense into me (Southern gals do that a lot).
Then came the words thick as 90 weight grease --- "BUT IT'S PIE WEATHUH!!"
How do I argue against that rationale? Oh... and I went to the store and bought the pies.
posted by Kevin Whiteman at
6:50 PM
5 Comments:
Well, it IS pie season. A pie and casserole must be kept in every good Southern fridge until December. However, a casserole must remain ready in the freezer at all times in case of furnerals or pot lucks.
Is IS pie weather. We went to the orchard and picked the apples the other day. My Mrs. is supposed to be making me an apple pie with a cheddar cheese crust sometime this week. Yum, yum.
Sigh. I moved to South from the midwest, and in our town I can buy 2 different brands of mincemeat pie, but pumpkin is not to be found. Even in October.
I can't stop laughing at this and I'm going to send it to every southerner I know.
Mary
mmmmmmmmm...
pie!
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