The Lair of the Catholic Caveman

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Saturday, June 10, 2006

"Pulp Fiction" And The Diocese of Kansas City
Life imitates art

WARNING: This'll only make sense if you saw Pulp Fiction... sorry. Oh, and I've censored out some pretty foul language. If censored cuss words offend, you might want to skip this post.

I know I'm behind the power curve on this one.... but better late than never. Anyhow, I'm convinced The Holy Father has all the dialogue for "Pulp Ficton" memorized. Hell, I think he even unknowingly incorporates said film into his leadership style.

Case in point: Vincent Vega (Bishop Boland and fellow travelers at NCR) just shot Melvin (Holy Mother The Church) in the face. Marsellus Wallace (His Holiness) calms the fears of Jules Winnfield (Catholics who still retain a shred of Catholicism) by sending in Winston Wolfe (Bishop Finn).

Marsellus: You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the m**********r. Go back in there, chill them n*****s out and wait for The Wolf, who should be coming directly.

Jules: You sending The Wolf?!

Marsellus: Oh, you feel better, m**********r?

Jules: S**t, negro, that's all you had to say!!

Then we meet Winston himself. He says profound things like "I'm Winston Wolfe. I solve problems", and "you have a corpse in a car, minus a head, in the garage. Take me to it".

Coincidence? I think not.

And quicker than you can say "bring out the gimp", there are those in this particular diocese that'll kick, scream, and pout over what The Wolf.... oops, I mean Bishop Finn is doing. And if this isn't proof positive that His Holiness is a Quentin Tarantino fan, I don't know what is...

Vincent: A 'please' would be nice.

The Wolf: Come again?

Vincent: I said a 'please' would be nice.

The Wolf: Get it straight, Buster. I'm not here to say 'please'. I'm here to tell you what to do. And if self-preservation is an instinct you possess, you better f****n' do it and do it quick. I'm here to help. If my help's not appreciated, lots of luck, gentlemen.

Jules: No no Mr. Wolfe, it's not like that. Your help is definitely appreciated.

Vincent: Look Mr Wolfe, I respect you. I just don't like people barking orders at me, that's all.

The Wolf: If I'm curt with you, it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you two guys to act fast if you want to get out of this. So, pretty please... with sugar on top... clean the f****n' car!!

But in all seriousness, take a gander at some of the blatantly anti-Catholic garbage spewn forth by the apostates at the National Anti-Catholic Reporter. Here's a litany of the sins of Bishop Finn;

Dismissed the chancellor, a layman with 21 years of experience in the diocese, and the vice chancellor, a religious woman stationed in the diocese for nearly 40 years and the chief of pastoral planning for the diocese since 1990, and replaced them with a priest chancellor. Shocking... priests answering to a priest. What WILL they think of next?

Canceled the diocese’s nationally renowned lay formation programs and a master’s degree program in pastoral ministry. "Nationally renown"? According to who?

Cut in half the budget of the Center for Pastoral Life and Ministry, effectively forcing the almost immediate resignation of half the seven-member team. Within 10 months all seven would be gone and the center shuttered. It must suck to be number 4. Did Bishop Finn have that individual sawed in half?

Ordered a “zero-based study” of adult catechesis in the diocese and appointed as vice chancellor to oversee adult catechesis, lay formation and the catechesis study a layman with no formal training in theology or religious studies. Correction, no formal training in heretical theology or religious studies.

Ordered the editor of the diocesan newspaper to immediately cease publishing columns by Notre Dame theologian Fr. Richard McBrien. At least there's one bishop with the spheres to give Martin Luther McBrein the boot.

Announced that he would review all front page stories, opinion pieces, columns and editorials before publication. 'Bout damn time

And as if those "sins" weren't bad enough, Na-CR saved the most egregious sin for last...

Finn upgraded a Latin Mass community, which has been meeting in a city parish, to a parish in its own right and appointed himself pastor. Later, he asked the parish that the Latin Mass community will be leaving to donate $250,000 of the estimated $1.5 million the Latin group needs to renovate the old church Finn gave them. Wow, do you think the Roman Protestants think that Bishop Finn was about to go medieval on their collective asses?

Kansas City's Traditional Catholics prior to the arrival of His Excellency, Bishop Finn

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 8:24 AM

3 Comments:

Blogger Brother James said...

Yeah, McBrien is still sulking about the housecleaning in K.C. I gave his latest column the St. Jimbob treatment. Imagine, a priest his age still sulking about Paul VI and Humanae Vitae. Actually, a lot of priests his age ARE still sulking about Humanae Vitae, nevermind.

12:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bravo!

3:31 PM  
Blogger erin is nice said...

i have no choice but to watch that movie for the millionth time tonight.

3:34 PM  

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