Sunday, April 30, 2006

Military Recruiting Commercials
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Even though I'm a retired Master Sergeant of Marines, I promise to retain my objectivity.

With that said, on with the show...

Has anyone else noticed that the Navy and Army have many of their commercials essentially saying "if you join the Navy/Army, you'll be a SEAL/Ranger or Special Forces soldier"? I'd be willing to bet that whatever pin-heads who authorized those commercials hasn't spent one day in a SEAL/Ranger/SF unit. SEAL and Ranger/SF training is TOUGH. The majority (60%-70%) who meet the requirements don't even make it through the training courses.

The Navy and the Army are tied for 2d for the most distorted recruiting commercials. Without a doubt, the Air Force wins this competition. Yeah... I'm a snowboarder that doesn't get lost, so that makes me qualified to be a B-1 bomber pilot. Sure. And my personal favorite is the one where there's some chick who excels at loading groceries into her car's trunk (or some other mundane task) and the next thing we know, she's a "Payload Mission Specialist" on the Space Shuttle. In the immortal words of Doctor Evil, "Riiiiiight".

The winner of the Most Consistent is The Marines. Even though I do find the Marine Corps recruiting commercial about the dude climbing the pinnacle, and the one about a heart of steel forged deep within the earth, pretty hokie, they do say that The Corps has always said; "If you can make it and have what it takes, we promise you one thing, the pride of being a United States Marine, period". A message to the USMC Recruiting Command, get rid of all the Sword and Sorcerer crap. It's silly. Stick with the basics.

The winner of the Most Truthful is the one from the Army Reserve. You know, the one with them running through the hometown neighborhood street. The message is straightforward and simple... Everything around you, you love. Everything around you is worth fighting for. Everything around you is the exact reason as to why you need to join up. After years of listening to "join up and get a zillion dollars for college", it's good to see the Army Reserve focus on good old fashioned patriotism. Good for you, Army Reserve.


Blogger Jeff Miller said...

Back in the eighties or late seventies Saturday Night Live did a parody commercial that ended with a sailor swabbing a deck displaying "It's more than a job, it's an adventure"

How about worst military recruitment mottos? I thinks "Army of one" wins hands down as the most contrary recruitment motto ever. Indiduality over being part of a fighting team. Though I am sure once they get to bootcamp that "Army of one" nonsense gets knocked out of them pretty quickly.

12:41 PM  
Blogger Fidei Defensor said...

I saw a big hummer with slick Marine decals all over it driving around town blasting rap music today.

I have to wonder about some of the people that is going to pull in but thankfully as near as I can tell the thug/gangsta mentallity gets knocked out of people in training.

9:39 PM  

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