Sunday, April 16, 2006

The Crescendo That Ended In A Disappointed Sigh
Snake bit... again

Well, looks as if any freeing of the Traditional Latin Mass won't be happening any time soon. Status quo is the watch-word of the day. The Mass that glorifies God Almighty, strengthens Faith, fosters vocations... that Mass is still by permission only. Oh well, all in God's good time.

But bad theater... and even worse Catholicism is permissible. Here's what I'm talking about;

How I Spent My Easter Vigil

An old family friend was just rcv'd in The Church last night. She asked if my wife and I would attend the Easter Vigil at St. (Missed The) Mark Sorta-Catholic church. To say this place is "liberal" is a masterpiece of understatement. Imagine one of the Protestant Mega-McChurches with a crucifix and the so-called 'Blessed Sacrament Chapel', AKA 'Christ In A Broom Closet', hidden way in the back. I kept wondering why people kept genuflecting as they entered their pews. After all, they sat with their backs to Christ, and genuflected to a man (the priest). It went downhill from there.

Anyhow, I felt like I was ecclesiastically violated. I've seen better organized monkey s***-fights at the zoo.

But where do I begin? Should I start with the priest who kept changing his mind if we should (at the beginning of Mass) stand/sit/go outside/stay inside? Seriously... before Mass it was announced that we 'should all exit the church to process in', then when half the congregation was outside, the good padre corrected himself and said that only the 'RCIA folks' needed to be outside, the rest of us should go back inside. Lots of bumping into and exclamations of "what's going on here!?" as this Chinese Fire Drill unfolded.

That pretty much set the tempo for the evening.

Should I talk of the choir that consisted of 18 acoustic guitars, one drum set, and a real hep-cat cool dude with a casio sound machine? Speaking of such... last night we heard 'hymns' that were cha-cha flavored, Negro Spirituals (complete with wailings and 'AMENS' from the lily white choir), and other toe-tappers that must have originally been done by the Vince Guiraldi Trio (you , know... the 'Charlie Brown' theme music).

Oh, and before I forget... one git-picker in the choir kept throwing his arm up during the Hit Parade. Our very own Pete Townsend? I half expected them to break into a Mike Curb Congregation inspired (and really crappy) version of "Baba O'Reilly". There was one "hymn" that I SWEAR was based on the old Herb Alpert song "This Guy". You know, "you see dis guy, dis guys in luv wid youuuuuuuu...". I guess they were singing about Jesus.

Ohhhh.... and the multitude of laity that kept the conga line going to the podium for Readings. If I used the phrase "drama queens and over-the-top bad acting"... would that paint a mental picture?

And should I bring up the worn-out old dyke dressed up an awful lot like a priest that sat conspicuously close to the good old Padre during Mass? And not one single altar boy.... but 6 altar girls. But hey, why should any boy desire to serve at the alter? That's a girl thing. Anyone remember the old saying "the cradle of vocations is at the foot of the altar"? And no one in the hierarchy can figure out why we have empty seminaries. At least in the Novus Ordo... Traditional seminaries have waiting lists.

Anyhow, twice during Mass, I actually laughed out loud. It was all just soooo...... INSIPID! But around hour #2 I actually started to get really pissed. Things went from the mildly amusing and confusing, to absurd, to outright disrespectful and irreverent. Entertainment value at a minimum... The Glorification of Man at a maximum. It was glaringly obvious that Horizontal Worship was the order of the day.

I should be happy. At least I don't have to go to Mass there Easter morning with the kiddies. Dancing... bunny costumes... the works. More entertainment.

Well, I have to go now. I have the uncontrollable urge to shower and scrub-down with steel wool until my skin bleeds.

Happy Easter!

PS, I over heard a Protestant visitor say after Mass "that was just like our services!".

'Nuff said.


Blogger Former Altar Boy said...

Maybe the Lord wanted you there to 1) edify your friend's entry into the Church, and 2) to witness (again) the diabolical novelties that are being foisted on too many poorly-catechized Catholics at too many Novus Ordo Masses. The Mass of the Catechumens, while the longest, can also be one of the most beautiful Masses when done reverently and correctly. In addition to the lighting of the church, the preparation of the bare altar (that assumes a church with an actual altar!), the six or more scripture readings BEFORE the epistle and gospel, the sight of adults making their entry into the Family of God has often moved me to tears. Anymore, however, I wonder just how much of the Real Faith, Church history, etc. they learned from Deacon Milqtoast and Sister Mary Lezbefriends in RCIA.

Which brings be back to the opening of your post: Holy Father, PLEASE lead us out of this desert we've been forced to endure for 40 years!

3:04 PM  
Blogger Dymphna said...

Wow. That's a bad Mass. I keep hoping that one day massive numbers of Catholics are going to say enough of this crap.

4:22 PM  
Blogger Rick Lugari said...

Imagine one of the Protestant Mega-McChurches with a crucifix and the so-called 'Blessed Sacrament Chapel', AKA 'Christ In A Broom Closet', hidden way in the back.

Wow...they had a crucifix?!

That sounds like a very pious parish by Detroit standards. As my mom's old pastor said about the crucifix, "it's not ecumenically correct." Her parish had to wait for him to retire, before they could display the crucifix again.

One local parish stripped the Corpus from their crucifix and hung Jesus on the outside wall of the building sans cross. The bare cross remained over the sanctuary where a Peter Paul and Mary tribute band perform at every leavened bread in a basket "Mass".

Sorry, I didn't mean to go on like that. I guess I just like to bitch too sometimes. ;)

5:35 PM  
Blogger Fidei Defensor said...

Welcome to my world!

Thank God I do know where to find the Tridentine Masses and the more conservative Novos Ordo parishes when I need a shot in the arm.

8:09 PM  
Blogger AndyMacOP said...

Don't worry, it will all get better when the Church ordains women...More Latin, more incense, less hand holding. You get my point...

i am funny...

11:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, I was over at St Thomas More Heretic parish (in Chapel Hole NC) and they would leave the corporal on the table 24/7 and I could never figure out why the old folks kept genuflecting to the alter, but then I inspected the corporal and found crumbs... they are smarter than I thought...

7:10 AM  
Blogger tucsontrad said...

Have no fear. It's just as bad in other parts of this great land.

My brother and I actually had the guts to sit through a "Chrism" mass last Monday night at St. Augustine's Cathedral in the Roman-Protestant diocese of Tucson. It was, with little exageration, one of the worst sudo-Protestant services one could ever imagine. Didn't know if I should have vomitted, or just sat there and cried?

In fact, it was such a show-case of what has gone wrong over these past 40 years, that I may have to write an article, and post on this blog w/ the OK of His Highness, Caveman the Great!

8:42 AM  
Blogger St. Jimbob of the Apokalypse said...


Brother, packeth thine household and move to Lincoln, Nebraska. We've got a Bishop with a real set of stones, reverent Novus Ordo masses, and Tridentine rite masses in town as well.
The rants you post suggest that your worship of God at mass is terribly distracted by the activity around you, and seem to forget that Christ is there with you, in the Eucharist, despite the bobbing and weaving of the 'worship experience team' in the sactuary. Focus on Christ, and the rest will fade into the background. The Devil wins if he's stolen your peace during mass.
I speak from experience, after attending Mass in other parts of the country, that the indignation at liturgical abuses serves no other purpose than to distract us from Christ. It's win-win for Satan, ruining the Mass for the abusers and for those outraged at the abuse.
As I've said above, vote with your feet.

Pax Vobis,


10:19 AM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Jim Bob,
Not so much "rants"... I do try to inject some humor in there!!

Tucson Trad,
Go for it!!!

12:49 PM  
Blogger Darwin said...

I suppose all things considered we're quite lucky. Though we belong to a very bare bones, suburban parish in north Austin, the liturgy was reverent, novelty free and according to the rubrics.

The choir did possess a pair of guitars, but most of the organ drowned the out in most songs. Five altar boys and one girl. There were, I'm afraid, a few negro spirituals mixed in the real hymns. And the priest couldn't help trying on a comedian role for just a moment during the baptisms ("I always use plenty of water to make sure that it will take.")

But it sounds like we should count our blessings compared to your experience.

12:56 PM  
Blogger A. Carlton Sallet said...

Suck it up Marine, you were there for a reason!

(What it was is your job to figure out)

12:25 PM  

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