Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Blast From The Past!
Originally posted back on 2006

Must See TV!
Finally, a reality show that has some reality

The entire English speaking world has gone reality show crazy, especially America. The ones that especially drive me mad are the ones that have someone "trading places" with someone else.

First we had Trading Spaces where two families traded homes. Then we had Wife Swap where... well, you can figure it out. Now we have Black. White. where a Black family passes for White and vice versa.

Here's an idea...

My Big Fat Obnoxious Jihaadist (our British Cousins across the pond can call it There's Something About Abdullah).

Here's the premise to the show; Reggie Van Hooten-Weinstein, a typical milquetoast liberal weenie, complete with Kerry - Gore - Mondale - Dukakis - McGovern For President bumper stickers on his 12 MPG Ford Expedition SUV who hails from San Francisco (or it could be New York, or Boston, or the San Francisco of The South... Chapel Hill, NC) and is a Gyno-Empowerment Facilitator in business with his take no shit from anyone bitch of a wife, Margaret Weinstein.

Reggie trades places with Abdullah Kamal from Damascus, Syria. Abdullah is a professional kous-kous monger and he moonlights as a voice coach, teaching fellow Arabs the fine art of shooting their tongues around their mouths while making that high pitched "loo-loo-loo!" crazy-assed sound.

In the first (and only) episode, Reggie is immediately kidnapped as soon as his feet hit the ground in Syria. Five days later, the The Goat Pounders Martyrs Brigade releases a communique stating that they have the Zionist Israeli-American spy, Reggie Van Hooten-Weinstein in custody. Three weeks later, we see a rather grainy video of good ol' Reg on al-Jazeera getting his head carved off.

Meanwhile, Abdullah has the 16 year old daughter of Reg and Margie honor killed due to her not dating a muslim boy. Margie in the meantime has been chained-up in the basement and beaten once an hour, ever hour for looking Abdullah in the eye... and being Jewish. Abdullah is not brought up on charges due to the San Francisco (or it could be New York, or Boston, or the San Francisco of The South... Chapel Hill, NC) City Council declaring Abdullah a Prisoner of Conscience from the Imperialist American Government. He is eventually granted diplomatic immunity and allowed to go home to Syria.




The above pictures are NOT jokes. They're from the the Al-Jazeera weekly program 'The Shar'ia and Life'. This particular show was to teach moslem men the correct and proper way to beat their wives. The captions at the bottom of each picture are real.

5 Comments:

Blogger SonarMan said...

It doesn't have to be a one-shot series. They could do a new lib family every week. I'd say that by the end of the season Abdullah would have a nice-sized harem and plenty of infidel trophies on his wall.

9:06 AM  
Blogger Blanscet Hernandez Family said...

Great. An instruction manual for husbands to beat their wives. And yet, somehow, the Catholic Church is horrible because of her teachings on vocations (namely, that only MEN can be priests). Religion of peace, religion of peace...how many more times to I have to repeat it to make it so?

9:25 AM  
Blogger Adeodatus49 said...

Responsio:

1. But isn't this OK to do this on certain occasions . . . at least . . . to Sister Mary Stretch Pants? :-))

2. I remember "very old" Sister Matthias in the late 1950s in fifth grade doing this to me--actually the old Irish cuff on the back of the neck for not knowing an answer to her question--my folks were livid. It is a wonder my father didn't shoot her. She died anyway about 6 months later. Wonder if there was a connection? :-0

3. Where do you get this stuff? I just love it!

11:56 AM  
Blogger JLS said...

"The Goat Pounders Martyrs Brigade"? This definitely warrants a Pulitzer Prize! ... and a round of high fives.

1:00 PM  
Blogger Hail3N1 said...

A Mexican, an Arab, and a Redneck girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. he says, "In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice."..................The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either."..................The redneck girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says, "In America we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the sames ones twice."

10:53 AM  

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