Obamaspeak
A primer

WARNING! Harsh Language Alert!!

Confused on what all these high falutin phrases and new definitions mean? Don't fret... I'm here to help.

Strategic Commitment Re-Evaluation Task Force: Anything you want it to mean.

Teleprompter: Presidential Security Blanket.

Bullying, Harassment, Abuse and Abusive Life Experiences Traumatic Stress Disorder: Excuse for being a pussy.

Alternative Community Organizer: Terrorist.

Turbo-Tax: Timothy Geithner's own personal Kryptonite.

Conflict Resolution/Peer Mediation: Change to USMC doctrine. Formerly stated purpose was to "locate, close with, and destroy the enemy by fire and maneuver, or to repel his assault by close combat". New emphasis is placed on "how you feeeeeeel".

Nuclear arms: What Michelle has.

Obergebietsführer for the ObamaJugend: Director of what was formerly known as AmeriCorps.

Involuntary Cranial Separation: Beheading. Also see Terrorist.

Involuntary Fiscal Separation: Obama Stimulus Plan. Also see Turbo-Tax.

The Holy Trinity: Biden, Pelosi, Sebelius.

Hermey the Misfit Elf: The United States Secretary of the Treasury.