Monday, April 21, 2008

Who Needs A Bishop When You Have A Protestant Ministerette?
The diocesan version of "screw you, Pope Benedict"?
Helmet tip to The Unseen Parishioner

I've posted about Immaculate Conception parish in Durham, NC before. You remember, don't you? That "faith community" that recently had their pagan-inspired "Ecological Stations of the Cross" this past Lent, complete with prayers to Mother Earth?

Well, it looks as if the good Fathers at Immaculate Conception want to "imagine" where their parish will be in the next 1-3 years. So what do these dreamers do to make their imagination a reality? Simple... hire a Protestant ministerette to show you how a parish is SUPPOSE to be run! Just check out their bulletin, or you can read it right here; (Comments mine)
Over the past few months, our staff has begun a process (It's always about a "process" never about reaching an actual goal) of imagining our future. (Has anyone considered asking the bishop in which direction he would like to see this "Parish" go? Maybe they should start by "imagining" that next year there will be no further abominable versions of the Stations of the Cross.) This process began with a question: "What do you see as the questions that face our parish over the next 1-3 years?" (Here's a question for you: Do we believe in Jesus?) As we have reflected on these questions, which touch on all aspects of our parish, we have decided that we need some help from the outside (Oh - you need "help," alright) to help us think through the issues that we face. (e.g., How much longer should we keep up the pretense of being in union with the Roman Pontiff and the Bishop of Raleigh? Should we come clean and openly declare our already years old de facto schism with the Church? Naaaaaah......that would require integrity.)

We have entered into an agreement with a facilitator from Nashville TN (i.e., yet one more lay person has been put on the Parish dole) who will be working with us over the next several months. Her name is Kim Maphis Early, and she is an ordained Presbyterian minister with extensive background in working with church groups. (FYI- She was our second choice as our first choice, Joyce Myers, was a little outside our budget) She attended two masses here last Sunday (Anyone wanna lay money on whether or not she was allowed to receive "communion"?) and met with our staff on Monday. (I'm "imagining" Nurse Ratchet here) She will be back in May (CHA) and again in June (CHING) and she will be with us for several meetings in the fall as well (This is Durham, after all - where $$$ grows on trees.) In our May meeting, we will be discussing a book which we will all read called "Difficult Conversations." (Here's another book someone may want to recommend: The Catechism of the Catholic Church - unless conversing about that is too difficult. In that case, one may "imagine" the Baltimore Catechism to be more helpful.)

As we go through this process, there will be days in which our staff will be off-site for a one-day or a two-day retreat. (at which we will spend copious amounts of parish money on food, drink, and endless opportunities/settings in which to make ourselves feel better....about ourselves - but don't worry - this is really to benefit the whole parish - no, really!) We will let you know ahead of time what these dates are. (So, don't EVEN think of receiving a human voice - not to mention actual attention if you attempt to call the parish office) We see this process as the highest priority for us during this time, and we ask you to pray for us as we go through it. (Maybe we should pray, instead, that the true, Catholic Faith return to a Parish so long deprived of it) Kim, in her proposal, sees her work with us taking shape (i.e., she has no idea what she'll do) over a series of several meetings (chaaaaAA....) over several months (CHIIIING!!!!!) and ending with a plan to involve the people of the parish in a process of imagining IC's future. This, for us, is the Church as we imagine it to be. (Riiiiing! It's 3 a.m. and the Clue-Phone is ringing at the rectory of Immaculate Conception. It's Robert Browne on the other end to inform you that he already founded [i.e.,"imagined"] the Congregationalist Church in 1580.)

Please let us know if you have any questions about this process. (Ok - here goes: How long shall sinners, O Lord: how long shall sinners glory? Ps. 93:3) Kim left us with a prayer by the Jesuit priest/anthropologist (Who knew priests were now hyphenated - or forward slashed as the case may be? I wonder if in addition to priest-psychologists, priest/anthropologists, and priest/dancers, there are any priest/ass-kickers around the bishop could send to visit IC in Durham?) Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (never mind the fact that he was silenced by the Church in 1926) and the last lines of the prayer are: "Give our Lord the benefit of believing that His hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete." (disclaimer: Belief in our Lord is, of course, optional. Also, let the reader understand that use of male pronouns was ONLY for the sake of quoting Teilhard de Chardin - a priest/rogue terribly helplessly victimized by a cruel, unjust, and patriarchal society.)
Fr. Steve (Peppermint) Patti, O.F.M.
Never mind the slight discrepancy that this broad denies The Real Presence, papal authority and supremacy, most of The Sacraments, etc. Nahhh... none of that's REALLY all that important, is it?

Does anyone think this is really the direction that Bishop Burbidge wants his priests to go? Oh, you silly Caveman... why in the world would you expect diocesan priests to look to their bishop for HIS vision for HIS parishes? Personally, I look upon this a none too subtle "screw you, Bishop Burbidge".

Hey, why look to the tower for guidance when you can pay untold amounts of money hiring someone to lead you to a future like this:

16 Comments:

Blogger Alli said...

Well, now we have written proof of this b.s. - forward it to the Bishop! B-)

9:31 PM  
Blogger Fr. Erik Richtsteig said...

Pack your bags MSgt Caveman! It looks like it's time for the Heretic Whisperer to do a little 'facilitating' up north. Of course, the good bishop could do some imagining of IC's future himself and send the OFMs packing.

9:15 AM  
Blogger Volpius Leonius said...

I can't believe they would be so upfront as to mention Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, they are all but saying that they are modernist heretics. They should be dealt with teh same way George Tyrrell was dealt with

9:36 AM  
Blogger HappyCamper said...

They can be "presiders" and "facilitators" all they want but they can never be "celebrants". Yawn. Is there ever a caboose at the end of these looneytoon trains of thought? Will these losers ever go away? Or at least stay in the church-corporations of their own making and leave we who dwell in the church of Jesus' making alone? Catholics grow so weary of this and I frankly am tired of praying for their sorry asses. Yawn. Yawn.

11:26 AM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Orthodoxae said...

Bishop Burbidge MUST learn of this!

Why do I hear the Twisted Sister song "Burn in Hell" in the background?

2:47 PM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

How come the first page of their bulletin is in Spanish?
And --- they offer Spanish classes. Shouldn't that be English classes??

I wouldn't have believed it without seeing it first hand. Amazing.

3:33 PM  
Blogger G.I. Janet said...

These people are Pagans. Econazis and Ecofacists at best. We need to pray, pray and pray some more for these lost souls. Much as my tendency is to want to choke the living snot out of them, I have to remember that there but for the Grace of God.... Besides, we have been instructed to pray for our enemies and if these nutjobs aren't our enemies nobody is. If they go to Hell, I don't want it to be because they weren't prayed for.

G.I.Jane formerly Happy Camper. In case anybody cares.

6:55 PM  
Blogger Former Altar Boy said...

Another Caveman Classic. I'd laugh if it wasn't so sad. You can tall that any parish bulletin that spells Mass (as in holy Sacrifice of the...) with a small "m" is probably also one where few believe in the Real Presence (but they'll all line up for the "Lord's Supper" or whatever the Protsestant name-de-jour happens to be).

Where is the bishop on this? When he first took over, I thought there was high hopes he was an ordinary who understood what the working end of a shepherd's crook was used for?

I saw in the latest issue of Catholic Eye that they also mentioned two Novus Ordo monstrosities down there recently.

10:25 PM  
Blogger little"s blog said...

Thank YOU CAVEMAN. You hit the nail on the head.jen God Bless You.

11:46 PM  
Blogger Joe of St. Thérèse said...

Sounds like a job for the LR Team (Liturgical Restoration)...which means one thing...put it in the hands of the Norbertines or the FSSP...we have a little wacky OFM's out in Orange County too.

5:50 AM  
Blogger Al said...

The story souds way too familiar. A few months ago my parish hired a consultant for us to develop a new vision/mission statement. She wasn't protestant, worse, she is a New Age (alledged, in name only) Catholic.

A few weeks ago we were presented with "OUR" vision. It was "OUR" over & over & over again & again. Nothing about what God wanted. & plenty of money wasted.

At the presentation I made a few people upset when I pointed out how God was left out of the process. & despite their claims to the contrary, I still don't believe they give a damn about what God wants let alone are listenning to Him.

I've got the perfect song to descrIbe this process: AC/DC's "Highway to Hell"!

6:45 AM  
Blogger The Rockin' Traddy said...

Unbelievable. I remember hearing about the eco stations. The "priests" and that prottie heretic should be run out of the diocese on a rail.

Maybe they can hook up with the Sister of Perpetual Indulgence and they can all take a house by the sea together.

Won't that be nice?

9:20 AM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

FAB,
I was Divinly Inspired!!

11:42 AM  
Blogger Rustler45 said...

"G.I.Jane formerly Happy Camper. In case anybody cares."

I like G.I.Janet better. Great avatar!

Are there any sacred cows you want rustled?

1:18 PM  
Blogger Rustler45 said...

This is my post over at Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam in this discussion on womym's ordination. Fr. Philip backs up the Church's position on the issue, but then he said he would have advised Jesus...

FR. PHILIP SAID: ...would have urged him to include some of the faithful women.

RUSTER REPLIES: That just makes me cringe. And that makes about as much sense as encouraging men to become nuns.

I not only love women, I like women as well and always have since I was a little kid. I now have 40 years with the military. I was there when there were NO women in men's jobs. I could write a book on the problems caused by women working with men in men's jobs. All I will say is that they absolutely ruined everything!!

WE DON'T NEED ANY WOMEN PRIESTS AND WE DON'T NEED ANY MALE NUNS.

Ever ask yourself why men don't want to be nuns, girl scouts, etc. etc.? You get the picture. Why do women want to be in the men's bathhouse? It gives them power. That's what it's all about. Power and authority. The women who want that love having power and authority over men. That is the last reason anyone should want to be a priest. A priest is there to serve. Those women who had themselves ordained did not do it to serve. They lack humility. They love the power, the attention, the authority. The ability to say NO to anyone asking for anything.

Ever notice how when small minded man (or woman for that matter) gets into a position of authority? They believe that they are demonstrating their power by being able to tell you NO. A real leader will say yes at every opportunity as a show of his power. He loves to do things for anyone who asks.

Try going to a female administrator at your local parish and arrange to use the church for a wedding. You're going to hit every snag she can throw at you to keep you from being able to use HER church! I know that from experience!

So NO we don't need them telling us NO.

Next, this comes from priests, not my opinion. Neither homosexuals nor women can be priests. The reason is that God is Our Father. The priest is in God's place and has to be a father figure. Neither homosexuals nor women can do that.

1:31 PM  
Blogger crfernandes said...

I do not think the Bishop will do anything because the ICC is a rich parish and brings in lots of money for the Bishops' annual fund. Also, his mail is fielded by people sympathetic to the Friars. Besides, one Franciscan Friar said he throws Bishops' letters into the trash, which the congregation found highly amusing.

1:35 PM  

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