Wednesday, January 09, 2008

A Blast From The Past
It's been a slow news day

Originally posted Thursday, January 11, 2007

Sweet Revenge For Pater Richtsteig
The Catholic alphabet meme

I've been tagged. But this meme has a decidedly Caveman flavor. OK, here goes;

[A is for Ass]: That thing I haven't gotten off yet and responded to Tito's meme yet. Oh, it's also the animal that Jesus rode triumphantly into Jerusalem on.

[B is for Black and Tans]: Not that delicious drink, but those sorrowful bastards who murdered priests and nuns in Ireland.

[C is for Crusades]: Have you just been impaled by a broadsword, or are you just happy to see me?

[D is for Pain of Death]: Should be synonymous with Anathema Sit.

[E is for Excommunicated]: See C is for Crusades

[F is for Flagellation]: Nothing says "I mean it" like whip scars.

[G is for Good Works]: Note to "progressive" minded Catholics - just because you're a registered Democrat, that doesn't automatically qualify you as already performing Good Works.

[H is for Heretic]: Example: the USCCB protects these types.

[I is for Ignatius]: As in St Ignatius of Loyala. As in founder of the Jesuits. As in someone who's big time pissed-off right now.

[J is for Jacobites]: God bless the true King of England.

[K is for Kneeling]: Posture of worship used by unenlightened, rigid, pre-Vatican II rad-trads. And Jesus Christ.

[L is for Laity]: Various members of "ministries". To include; Eucharistic Monsters, Hospitality Whores, Liturgical Terrorists, Turd Burglar Outreach, The Dude In Charge Of Cutting The Grass.

[M is for Memes]: I'll never tag anyone again. I starting to hate these damn things.

[N is for Notre Dame]: As sure as death and taxes, the Notre Dame football program will disappoint.

[O is for Obstinacy in Sin]: A sure fire way to make it into one of many sodomite-friendly American seminaries. Sister Mary Bulldyke will love you.

[P is for Polyphony]: A style of music used by many in the Church that reached it's high water mark in the 17th century. Low point was when The Caveman both burped and farted to On Eagles Wings.

[Q is for Quartered]: Drawn and ____. Also see "Excommunicated".

[R is for Reconciliation]: A much nicer way to say Confession. Confession makes it sound like we've done something wrong. Reconciliation takes the sting out.

[S is for Sanctus Bell]: A small bell rung during various parts of the Mass. Replaced in many progressive parishes by a banjo or bongos or a diggery-do or a fart machine.... or yawns.

[T is for Titular]: Stop giggling.

[U is for The Union of Brest]: Stop giggling.

[V is for Victory]: Hell, we all know that.

[W is for The World]: What many within The Church embrace.

[X is for Xylopolitanus]: Latin for the bishop of Boise City, Idaho. Boise = French bois = Greek xulon. (Father R already took Xaverian Brothers)

[Y is for Yule]: Brenner, that is.

[Z is for Zucchetto]: Those really cool skull caps that certain clerics wear.


Blogger ignorant redneck said...

"Rightful King of England"--who cares about a buncha Limeys. I however, am ready to take up arms in the caquse of the rightful KING OF SCOTLAND!!

4:34 PM  
Blogger Brian Michael Page said...

If you burp or fart during the singing of "On Eagle's Wings"....
You might be a redneck? (tee hee)

10:56 PM  

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