Thursday, September 06, 2007

My Open Letter To The Prime Minister Of Sweden
WWVTID (What Would Vlad the Impaler Do?)

WARNING!! Harsh language alert (except for Paramedic Girl)

Dear Bjårénöåélöfsen, (or whatever the hell your name is),
It's come to my attention that the ambassadors from 20 (I know I'm being redundant) barbaric moslem countries are about to pay you a visit.

It turns out that a newspaper there in your fine country had the bad manners to print a cartoon of that scumbag, mohammed. So, of course, these 20 ambassadors all have their fatwas in a twist, and what a shocker... they have a list of demands.

Egyptian ambassador Mohamed Sotouhi told news agency TT that he and a group of fellow ambassadors had agreed on a list of measures Sweden needed to take if it was to secure a long-term solution to the muhammad cartoon controversy. According to Sotouhi, "comprehensive measures" were required if Sweden was to prevent some "amateur artist" from reawakening tensions every other month. "We want to see action, not just nice words. We have to push for a change in the law," he said.

While praising the "very constructive steps" taken by Fredrik Reinfeldt, the Egyptian ambassador said that Sweden had much work left to do. "In the long term the school curriculum has to convince pupils that if they want to express their opinion they should do so in such a way that it doesn't cause offence or hurt. This should also be part of journalism training," said Sotouhi. "A permanent parliamentary committee also needs to be established to tackle islamophobia," he added.

Dude... tell 'em to go straight to hell. Then have their sorry asses physically thrown out of your office. If that sounds too tepid a tactic, might I suggest a move from Vlad The Impaler's book How Not To Win Friends, But Really Influence The Living Shit Outta People.

As the story goes, good ol' Vlad was being paid a howdy-doo by a handful of moslem ambassadors. Said towel-heads refused to remove their undoubtedly lice ridden turbans from their equally undoubtedly scab-encrusted noggins, filthy beasts that they are.

But I digress.... Vlad was rather perturbed at their lack of graciousness in showing due respect to him in his own court. So Vlad, in all his wisdom, seeing that the filthy moslems were so dead-set on keeping said lice infested turbans on their scabby craniums, he decided to make it a permanent thang. He had the turbans nailed in place. I'm quite sure Vlad got someone's attention.

So Bjårénöåélöfsen (do you mind if I call you Bjårénöåélöfsen?), don't take any of their shit. Remember, when we hear church bells clanging away in Mecca, and the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia ceases to cart Christians off to prison for a few years of beatings and daily rapings simply because they're Christians, possibly then we just might take serious their call for "reaching a balance between freedom of speech and taking responsibility to avoid offending Muslims or other religious groups in this society".

In a nutshell, tell 'em to FOAD.

Spread the love,
Vir Speluncae Catholicus
MSgt USMC (ret)
Catholic Caveman Extraordinaire

7 Comments:

Blogger Vir Speluncae Orthodoxae said...

Ditto and Amen!

8:41 PM  
Blogger The Book Burner said...

Caveman! I love this blog!

10:24 PM  
Blogger The Perpetual Malcontent said...

I'll add my signature to that!

1:50 AM  
Blogger PreVat2 said...

Cavey,
With this post, you may have just risen above Chesty Puller (Blessed Be His Name) as the greatest Marine every!
Semper Fi, Vlad the Caveman!

8:12 AM  
Blogger Paul, just this guy, you know? said...

I like it. It has scope and texture.

10:32 AM  
Blogger paramedicgirl said...

Catholic Caveman Extraordinaire

If this is a petition, count me in.

1:42 PM  
Blogger paramedicgirl said...

Oh, I forgot to add, in regards to the wording, I wouldn't change a thing. ;}

1:47 PM  

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