Sunday, September 09, 2007

I Hate You, Jim Cantore
And your little weather-van, too

Evertime I hear the words; This is Jim Cantore reporting live from
~ Wrightsville Beach, NC
~ Topsail Island, NC
~ Carolina Beach, NC
~ Southport, NC

I know we're about to get pounded by another hurricane. So with that said...

Dear Weather Channel honchos,
Speaking on behalf of the males in the audience here in southeastern North Carolina... we all know that we'll eventually be visited upon by yet another natural disaster.

So in the ensuing days before landfall and we all are rivited to The Weather Channel, everyone knows that we have nothing to look forward to but days or weeks of no electricity (forget about A.C., refrigeration, using the oven and the microwave), shingles ripped off our roofs (oh, the joys of water damage), no running water (I hope we saved enough rain water to flush the tiolets with), etc, etc...

So it's a given that life is going to suck for quite some time. So with that said, could you please send Stephanie Abrams instead of Jim Cantore?

Please?




Thanks,
Every Single Red-Blooded American Male In Southeastern North Carolina.

10 Comments:

Blogger DigiHairshirt said...

Perhaps The Weather Channel is helping you avoid the near occasions of sin, because I suspect such may occur anytime you hear Stephanie Abrams talk about a "warm front coming in."

She needs a bigger microphone . . .

9:23 AM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

...because I suspect such may occur anytime you hear Stephanie Abrams talk about a "warm front coming in."

I don't know about warm fronts coming in... but I suspect she's responsible for plenty of high pressure build-ups.

She needs a bigger microphone . . .

Microphone, what microphone? Oh... you mean that thing in the way?

12:31 PM  
Blogger Dad29 said...

See what DigiHair means about 'occasion of sin'?

5:18 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Dad29,
Guilty as charged. *insert evil grin here*

5:36 PM  
Blogger Alli said...

Well what about the red-blooded females? Maybe they think Jim Cantore looks like Clive Owen.

You can't have everything, Caveman. :-p

11:35 PM  
Blogger Former Altar Boy said...

"Male and female He created them..."

I don't think appreciating the beauty of the Lord's creation has to be an occasion of sin.

1:56 AM  
Blogger Al said...

I see that Gabrielle only got to be a tropical storm & has now been downgraded to a tropical depression. Can I assume that that doesn't mean that your depression at having Jim Cantore instead of Stephanie Abrams reporting is over?

I will lightly skip over any wet t-shirt comments that I could make about Ms. Abrams as being obvious.

:)

4:06 AM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Al,
Can I assume that that doesn't mean that your depression at having Jim Cantore instead of Stephanie Abrams reporting is over?


Never.

_________________________________

FAB,
I don't think appreciating the beauty of the Lord's creation has to be an occasion of sin.

Exactly. I hope folks don't;

a. Confuse appriciation for lust.

b. The realization that this is a joke. PG-13... but a joke nonetheless.

Just in case anyone "misunderstands" this post... let me assure I that I infact, do love my wife and can't even imagen being with any other woman besides her; and I consider Stephanie Abrams to simply be a really pretty girl... period.

Yes, it really is as simple as that.

5:00 AM  
Blogger Kasia said...

Actually, Jim Cantore (at least in that picture) reminds me of someone. I'm trying to remember...would've probably been a pre-1960 movie star.

However, since I don't have to deal with the hurricanes, I certainly don't begrudge you your Stephanie Abrams reports. And I'm sure you would head straight for Confession if you happened to cross, even for a few moments, from appreciation to lust. ;-)

(Heck, I'm jealous. Think she could spare me a little of what she's got there? Compared to her I'm practically concave...)

9:39 PM  
Blogger Coffee Catholic said...

WOW what a big...microphone she has. You guys are so sweet pandering to the Feminists and calling for a WOMAN weather reporter to be elevated to the top. What liberated gents you are, thinking of a woman for her personality and professional skills! We need more men like you...
(BTW any word on Fabio getting Jim Cantore's position? Just curious...)

10:20 AM  

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