“An Adventurous Journey Through Fragrance And Scripture”
Yeah... riiiiight

If you really want to savor the Sacred Feminine on the Internet, it would be good to have your spiritual resources -- that is, your MasterCard or Visa -- handy, because there's so much stuff out there that's really just divine: aura-inspired bed linens, feng shui CDs, meditation cushions, yoga figurines, goddess tapestries, sacred masks, shaman jewels, scented candles, meditation oils, contemplative-sensual bath salts, and -- Oh, you're a Christian?

Well, try this: “The world's first spiritual perfume -- Virtue ®"-- has just been introduced by IBI, a niche fragrance company in Orange. "Based upon an inspired Biblical formula," their press release claims, "the perfume is designed to be a reminder of God, Christ, spiritual self and soul."

What crap. But on second thought, why can't we market our own Catholic Cavemen line of handy-dandy products?

Howz about the following ideas?


Luther Brand Apostate Ale. All the taste, none of the Salvation!

Do-It-Yourself Seminary Renovation Kit.Works just as good on sterile "Spirit of Vatican II" churches! (US Marine not included)

Smells Like Teen Heresy brand soap. For those who adhere to Sola Scrubtura

I KNEW This Book Existed!!

For that particularly harsh penance when sack cloth and ashes just doesn't cut it, there's always Embrace Your Sufferings butt-wipe