Saturday, June 02, 2007

“An Adventurous Journey Through Fragrance And Scripture”
Yeah... riiiiight

If you really want to savor the Sacred Feminine on the Internet, it would be good to have your spiritual resources -- that is, your MasterCard or Visa -- handy, because there's so much stuff out there that's really just divine: aura-inspired bed linens, feng shui CDs, meditation cushions, yoga figurines, goddess tapestries, sacred masks, shaman jewels, scented candles, meditation oils, contemplative-sensual bath salts, and -- Oh, you're a Christian?

Well, try this: “The world's first spiritual perfume --
Virtue ®"-- has just been introduced by IBI, a niche fragrance company in Orange. "Based upon an inspired Biblical formula," their press release claims, "the perfume is designed to be a reminder of God, Christ, spiritual self and soul."

What crap. But on second thought, why can't we market our own Catholic Cavemen line of handy-dandy products?

Howz about the following ideas?


Luther Brand Apostate Ale. All the taste, none of the Salvation!


Do-It-Yourself Seminary Renovation Kit.Works just as good on
sterile "Spirit of Vatican II" churches! (US Marine not included)


Smells Like Teen Heresy brand soap. For those who adhere to Sola Scrubtura


I KNEW This Book Existed!!


For that particularly harsh penance when sack cloth and ashes just
doesn't cut it, there's always Embrace Your Sufferings butt-wipe

7 Comments:

Blogger tara said...

This is the BEST and FUNNIEST blog posting I have EVER seen, ROFL! Where do you come up with this stuff--your blog is brilliant!!!

7:12 PM  
Blogger Former Altar Boy said...

Vir,
LMAO! Did you create some of the art? Regardless of where it came from, the pictures and text are GREAT! Yikes - that last one -- forget the hairshirt and do some REAL penance!

7:57 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

FAB,
Where did the pics come from?

LOTS of image searches.... and my own fevered imagination.

8:07 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

The Christmas following my husband's reversion, he was given that bar of soap (w/ an embroidered washcloth). I actually thought it was offensive b/c it was coming from someone who is angry with the Church.


Not that this is particularly relevant, but when I was in Ireland I was told that Guinness is "protestant beer" and Murphys is "Catholic beer."

I particularly like the "seminary renovation kit;" I already have the marine. However, the nearest seminary to me does happen to be orthodox, but does it work on parishes?

cheers!

8:32 PM  
Blogger Al said...

Maybe you can get Sheryl Crow to endorse your new Heavy Metal TP. It would definitely cut down on paper usage.

No, wait a minute, given the ecological damage done to mine the metal for it & to make it, she probably wouldn't even take the "pains" to try it out. ;)

11:36 PM  
Blogger Mac McLernon said...

Painfully funny, Cavey. I laughed so loud I scared the cat.

Hey, can the Do-It-Yourself Seminary Renovation Kit be used on dodgy Liturgical Music groups? If so, I need one for next year's Lourdes pilgrimage...

7:09 AM  
Blogger Anne said...

This is THE BLOG. I am going to delete the rest...

Anne

10:53 AM  

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