Friday, March 09, 2007

*Sigh* Now I Gotta Prove My Manhood Everyday!
What hath Eric Scheske wrought?

Through a truly bizarre series of events, there has been some question within the blogosphere if I am, in fact, the epitome of "the definition of Catholic fatherly manliness". I never asked for it... but what the hell, I'll run with it. Let's have some fun.

What title of nobility shall I choose? The Duke of Dude-dom, The Baron of Booty-Calls, The Squire of Studly, The Marquis of Manhood, The Lord Privy of Skivvy, The Viscount of Virility, The Kaiser of Kick-Ass, The Boyar of Boo-Yah? I dunno.... you tell me.

But anyhow, I've noticed that some of the bloglodettes that swing in here are real ladies. And I mean "real ladies" in every sense of the word. And of course, they enjoy bloggin' about chick stuff. You know.... crochettin' doilies, cookin', bakin', the joys of little ones sqeezin' through the water slide of life... you know, chick stuff.

Well, now that my manhood is on notice, I guess I gotta blog about truly guy stuff. OK, lesson one;

BRASSF. Golly Caveman, what's BRASSF stand for? Glad you asked--

Breath
Relax
Aim
S
top
Squeeze
Follow Through

Those steps should be automatic every time you squeeze off a round. So the next time some crack maniac is bustin' into your castle, BRASSF is what you need to use to ensure maximum damage. Note the picture at the top of this posting. Those aren't gang signs that The Caveman's flashin'. Those are your aiming points.

Two to the chest.
One to the head.

13 Comments:

Anonymous Anne said...

Despite the danger to my 'bloglodetteness', I really must ask... doesn't the head shot come first? **wink**

12:40 PM  
Blogger Maggi said...

IMHO it just has to be the Squire of Studly

2:04 PM  
Blogger Simon-Peter said...

No, double tap to the chest first.

Breath
Relax
Aim
Stop
Squeeze
Follow Through

Also SOP for, er, certain "ablutions." *cough*

3:34 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Anne, Seeing that the torso is a much bigger target than your average noggin, always go for the chest shot first. The head shot's just icing on the cake.

3:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Personnally, I prefer two torso shots, then two more torso shots, then perhaps two more.

If that doesn't do the trick, my revolver is empty and I gotta fall back on the cutlass.

Ignorant Redneck

6:51 PM  
Blogger paramedicgirl said...

My vote's gotta be "The Kaiser of Kick-Ass', but I'm from Kicking Horse Country where they make Kick Ass Coffee, so we're always kicking asses around here. Oh, Cavey, I have NEVER blogged about those girly things you mentioned!

9:34 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

PMG,
But those things I mentioned aren't exclusivly chickish!

Two of the most kick-ass gals I know are you and The Crescat!!

10:58 PM  
Blogger Former Altar Boy said...

Vir,
2 to the chest, one to the head is my motto if I can only get to a pistol. Otherwise, it's one round center mass with my shotgun (as I've posted before - loaded with birdshot for indoor defense; don't need .33 cal 00 buckshot tearing up the walls and requiring extensive repair work or going thru a wall (!) where other friendlies may be seeking refuge).

12:09 AM  
Blogger paramedicgirl said...

Hey, you forgot about Anita. She's a kick-ass girl, too!

3:24 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

FAB, LOL!!!!!!

PMG, That really is the problem with being surrounded by so many kick-ass chicks --- they REALLY ARE too numerous to mention!!

(but Anita knows!!!!)

3:59 PM  
Blogger Dymphna said...

Hmm. I like Baron of Boo-Yah.

12:53 PM  
Blogger Carolina Cannonball said...

Mr. Scheske said I wrote manly prose, so he stood his endoresent of me after I informed that I was not a male blogger. I was delited to see he mentioned my blog in regards to maniless & virilty in the st. blogs.

I guess you were right when you said I was 'da man!' LMAO.

2:47 PM  
Blogger Carolina Cannonball said...

although I apparently can't spell worth a shit. Oy!

10:55 AM  

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