Sunday, September 17, 2006

MOSLEMS GONE WILD!
You're the one that I want... to blow up, Ew-Ew-Ewww!!

LIVE! From The Gaza Strip, the only nudie bar in all of the Palestinian Controlled Territories, Ji(I never)Haad It So Good Enterprises presents, MOSLEMS GONE WILD!

Interviewer: Tell me, brother... why do you want to martyr yourself?
Moslem Gone Wild: I've never really been good with the chicks. Goats, yes. But with the ladies... not so good. 72 hotties in the after life -- Woo-Hoo! When do I hit the detonator!!??

Interviewer: My sister, will you show us your ankles?
Moslem Gone Wild: (giggle) I don't know (giggle)... I've never done anything like this before! (giggle)
Interviewer: C'mon, baby! Think of all the Holy Warriors this will inspire to beat their prayer rugs!
Moslem Gone Wild: Huh, beat their prayer rugs?
Interviewer: Yeah, you know.... thump the donkey, wax the minaret, sharpen the scimitar, issue that special fatwa, clean the rifle barrel, polish the prophet... you know, beat the prayer rug!
Moslem Gone Wild: Ohhhhhh. Well, in that case, here you go, big boy! (skirt raised revealing an especially large and hairy cankle)

Interviewer: Those are pretty big bomb belts you have there. Are they real?
Moslem Gone Wild: (blushing) No... they're implants. I got 'em as a Sweet 16 present from my parents.

Interviewer: OH MY ALLAH!! Chattel and gentlemen, look who's here! It's the Imam of Mayhem; the Caliph of Chaos; the Grand Mufti of Murder; the High Holy Man of Homicide... the one, the only, the chief recruiter for the al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade, Mr. Wutyew bin-Smokin!
(wild applause)
Interviewer: Wutyew, can I call you Wutyew? Wutyew, are you here for final festivities before you yourself are offered up in martyrdom?
Moslem Gone Wild: Oh, by the prophet's butt hairs, NO! Do you really expect me to blow myself up? Are you out of your mind? That's what all these impressionable young kids are for! Oh hell... were the cameras rolling? We can edit that out, can't we?

2 Comments:

Blogger Former Altar Boy said...

"...thump the donkey, wax the minaret, sharpen the scimitar, issue that special fatwa, clean the rifle barrel, polish the prophet..."

LMAO!!!

3:31 PM  
Blogger Andrew said...

Also LMAO!

8:24 PM  

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