Sunday, September 17, 2006

A Kinder, Gentler Interrogation
Army unveils new interrogation manual (see right)

[The new manual] will specifically prohibit methods including sleep deprivation, confinement to a darkened cell, stripping prisoners and the use of police dogs, said Thomas A. Gandy, director of counterintelligence and human intelligence for the Army.

Gandy said that includes no physical or mental torture, or any form of coercion, slapping, humiliation, striking or threatening... one of the tactics rejected by officials involved mild noninjurious physical contact, such as grabbing and poking in the chest. Hooding, removal of clothing and use of dogs to induce stress. "The theory is keep them uncertain about their future," said Gandy.

Hmmmm... I guess a rousing game of Duck, Duck, Goose should do the trick, huh Mr. Gandy. Or would taunting them in a sing-song voice saying I know something you don't knowwwwww be considered mental torture? This ever so politically correct "leader" needs to change his name from Thomas Gandy to Mahatma Gandy.

This entire episode just sickens me. What's next from the Department of the Army? Specific instruction such as no running with scissors? I imagine that the interrogators must always use their inside voices. And don't forget... always say yes sir, no sir, thank you, please. Proper deportment is paramount, you know.

Will Gitmo now be renamed The Big Time Out Corner? Oh hell, "time out corner" isn't acceptable any more. I guess the next time one of our troops gets snickered (having a prisoner throw a lovely concoction consisting of feces, urine, vomit and semen into the guard's face) then that prisoner gets a vigorous finger wagging and a stern "That's it, mister, your going on a break! That'll learn him... huh?

I gotta be honest, to ensure another 9/11 doesn't happen (and the subsequent roasting/being blown into a thousand pieces/or falling over 100 stories to their deaths of thousands of fellow Americans) I believe that a ball peen hammer and a couple of German Shepherds are entirely appropriate.

When the hell are we going to fight this war like we intend to win it?


Blogger Curmudgeon said...

Take the link to Judith Martin's book DOWN. Miss Martin wouldn't want to be associated with the sissified modern army.

9:51 AM  
Blogger Carolina Cannonball said...

So I take it we can't force then convert to Christianity by gun point either.

3:53 PM  

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