The Lair of the Catholic Caveman

The Car Crash of Blogs. You Don't Want To, But You Just Can't Help But Look

Friday, September 08, 2006

Hey! What About The Rest Of Us!!??
Joisey leads da way

From the state that made graft and mullet haircuts household words, New Jersey's list of approved religious holidays for its schools is getting longer and longer.

This years lengthy calendar includes six religions and 75 approved holidays, the Newark Star-Ledger reports.

It runs from the Islamic Day of Ascension on Sept. 1 to a Buddhist holiday on June 26 with Christmas, Passover and the first day of Ramadan in between.

In addition to changing the dates each year, a half-dozen new holidays were added to New Jersey`s calendar including the Day of Ashurah that commemorates the martyrdom of the Prophet Mohammed`s grandson.

Whatever. But hey, if Joisey is going to kick in days off for every false prophet and his brother, how about a little equability? I for one call on the PC Gestapo in Newark to ALL inclusive, dadgummit!

Frisbeetarianism. The basic tenet is that when you die, your soul goes up on a roof and you can't get it down.

The Seventh Day Adventurists. Much like their namesakes, no one is really sure exactly what they believe in. But they sure do sound like a fun bunch.

Discordianism. Best described as 'Zen for Roundeyes'.

The Book Of Zelph (Another Testament Of The Book Of Mormon). The Mormons are not amused.

Pastafarians who worship The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

I also found out about something called Wristianity. Not much on the internet about it... but from what I've gathered, Wristianity revolves around terse religious messages embossed on smallish elastic bands. That pretty much sums up the totality of Wristianity.

And the best one of all...

First Church of Shatnerology.

Putting a Shatnerologist in a room full of ordinary people is like putting a velociraptor in a room full of wiener dogs.
T!pau Jones, UberShamen of the First Church of Shatnerology

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 8:19 PM

1 Comments:

Blogger Jeff Miller said...

This post still makes me laugh a day later.

12:06 PM  

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