"Heresy Everywhere"
Now he thinks he's a songwriter

Sung to the tune of Johnny Cash's "I've Been Everywhere".

Due to the rapid fire lyrics, it might be hard to match them with the midi player. But have fun anyhow! Click here for midi player . Don't try to rush the lyrics... nice and slow. Enjoy!


I was seeking admission to the Notre Flame seminary
And in flittered the Vocations Director just like some swiveled-hip gay fairy
"If you seek admission here, I'm the man who can get it done...
But first I have to run it by a pack of tattooed lesbian nuns"
Then he took a huge toke off his bong
And asked if I thought Catholic teaching was all wrong
I said, "listen, Mac... what do you think? I'm wearing my sister's thong"

Heresy everywhere, man
Heresy everywhere, man
Speakin' Latin's rare, man
Comin' out of their Lair, man
Please don't listen to the Caveman
Heresy everywhere

I've preached
Heresy in Yamassee
Apostasy in Santee
Blasphemy in Chicopee
USCCB
Smoke of Satan out in Dayton
Loss of your salvation
Damnation you're facin'
Can you feel your heart racin'?
Let's join the Freemasons!

Heresy everywhere, man
Heresy everywhere, man
Speakin' Latin's rare, man
Comin' out of their Lair, man
Please don't listen to the Caveman
Heresy everywhere

I'm a big damn phony baloney
I work for Roger Mahoney
Something new? Woo-Hoo!
It's the Spirit of Vatican II
Just like Bernardin
You decide what is 'sin'
Prots thought he was super-duper
A modern day Martin Luther

Heresy everywhere, man
Heresy everywhere, man
Speakin' Latin's rare, man
Comin' out of their Lair, man
Please don't listen to the Caveman
Heresy everywhere

I hate Bishop Finn
If you kneel, it's a sin
Oh, baby can't ya see
I really love "The O.C."
I know that I hafta pass
on that old fashioned Latin Mass
I'm on my way to your town
To keep the Mass watered-down

Heresy everywhere, man
Heresy everywhere, man
Speakin' Latin's rare, man
Comin' out of their Lair, man
Please don't listen to the Caveman
Heresy everywhere