Thursday, April 20, 2006

Why I'm No Longer A Raiders Fan
...and have given up on the entire NFL

When I was a kid back in the 70's, if you would have cut me, I would have bled Silver & Black. Then came that dark day when I found out that my beloved Raiders were leaving the city of Oakland... the gritty working man's Oakland, the Hell's Angels Oakland, the Black Panthers Oakland, the 'mess with me and I'll rip your heart out and show it to you before you die' Oakland... and moving to the sorry-assed, phony-assed, home to the scum of the earth dodgers, city of Los Angeles.

The icing on the cake was when two Raiders (Howie Long and Marcus Allen) posed for the cover of GQ magazine. That was the death knell for any hope of the Raiders ever really being the Raiders of old. Hell... REAL Raiders have their pictures on mug shots, not the cover of GQ. It's been downhill ever since. Even though they moved back to Oakland, they're really nothing more than just another generic NFL team.

But is it just the Raiders that have it wrong? No... the entire NFL has become sissified. Don't get me wrong, the athletes are still world class. It's the NFL that has things screwed up. Think about it, a 15 yard penalty for "taunting"? George Atkinson and Jack Tatum glaring at (and probably spitting and stepping on) some recently leveled and undoubtedly profusely bleeding Wide Receiver who dared venture into their Secondary. Those two would have been banned for life. But back then it was good, old fashioned smashmouth football.

And what's with this garbage about no nailing the QB if he's beyond the line of scrimmage if he slides? Ahhh... for the days of Stork Hendricks, John Matuzak, or Lyle Alzado bearing down on one of the League's Golden Boys. You know, RB's and WR's don't have the protection of the slide rule... what the hell makes the Golden Boys so special?

And remember whenever a fight broke out, the cameras immediately zoomed in? No more. Now they show much more important happenings. Like the one of the Zebras scratching his doo-dads. Heaven forbid we, the viewing audience, actually see some violence whilst watching a football game.

Ok, now that I've vented, excuse my while I try to figure out the rules to Rugby and Australian Rules Football. I may not understand it... but I know I like it.

5 Comments:

Blogger Fidei Defensor said...

If you want to hear some good NFL news look no furthern than Green Bay, the Packers have a team preist and it is rumored that Brett Favre and head Coach Mike Sherman were daily Mass regulars. Sadly Sherman got fired and Favre's days are numbered.

9:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Any truth the the rumor that Vince Lombardi, another Mass regular, is being considered for beatification? If not, he should be.

10:53 PM  
Blogger Carolina Cannonball said...

When I read the comment about "old fashioned smash mouth football" I was going to suggest Rugby.

Then I read your last line... great minds ya know.

RUGBY: Trample the weak
Hurdle the dead!

You know I played prop for 7 years & I still have all my teeth :)

11:13 AM  
Anonymous Theophane said...

American football: combining two of the worst features of American life--random violence punctuated by committee meetings.

I can go for Rugger or Aussie Rules although I confess that I prefer the Beautiful Game (whose World Cup comes up this June).

2:00 PM  
Blogger hooligan said...

I always thought rugby players ate their dead!

3:10 PM  

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