The Lair of the Catholic Caveman

The Car Crash of Blogs. You Don't Want To, But You Just Can't Help But Look

Saturday, March 18, 2006

What Did Jesus Really Look Like?
Probably not like He's portrayed

Ever notice just how many paintings of Christ make Him look like some anorexic 16 year old, narrow shouldered little girl with a beard? If anything, Jesus was the Hulk Hogan of the Holy Land.

Anthropologists have determined that the average Semite male 2,000 years ago stood at a towering 5' 1" tall and weighed in at a whopping 130 lbs. With that said, I for one firmly believe that the Shroud of Turin is in fact, the burial cloth of Christ. The image shows a Man who was 5' 10" tall and tipped the scales at approximately 190 lbs. When people looked up to Jesus... they looked UP to Jesus!

And let's not forget that He was a carpenter by trade. No power drills, just hand drills. No power saws, just hand saws. No nail guns, just big iron hammers. No pick-up truck to haul around 8"X8"X10' cedar lumber, just two strong shoulders and an exceptionally strong back. Any wonder why they sent a whole slew of soldiers to arrest Him in the garden? He was not a Man to be taken lightly.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I kind of chuckle when I see those rather effeminate paintings of Him. If anything, Jesus was (what they use to call back in the old days) a man's man!

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 5:00 PM

4 Comments:

Blogger Dymphna said...

That's why I love icons. They always show our Lord looking very masculine.

7:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mega dittos dudes, with ND and icons. The best is the "Christ the Pancreator" where he appears to have an evil eye. That image is on the dome of an Orthodox church looking down from the dome. Try making confession looking at THAT image! You'd crap yourself. Don't have a blog myself, but will read here often. I'm a caveman too, albeit an Eastern Orthodox one. LOVE THE QUIET MAN!

8:30 AM  
Blogger Dave said...

I remember my father's father's seldom-used Missal. In it was a picture of Our Saviour which looked like a "consumptive girl with a beard", to borrow from C. S. Lewis.

Then there's a picture my parents have, based on the Shroud of Turin. Strong and masculine.

2:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesus was a carpenter, but at that time carpenters were also stone masons. Jesus more than likely had put down many a foundation stone in His life. I have always thought of Him as not exactly handsome, but compelling and a mesmerizing speaker. I too like icons, and am not fond of the feminine Jesus or the happy surfer Jesus we often find in art.

8:33 AM  

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