News From The Future...
Future... future... future... future

The Da Vinci Code, The Movie is almost upon us. Bet ya didn't know that there are already sequels in the works, did ya?


The Dogs Playing Poker Code
A hidden painting locked away by the Catholic Church. See the large stack of chips center-left? Below them are two other smaller stacks of chips and a glass. They form the letter "J" as in "Jesus". The Wedding Feast for Canines is just one example of what the real Bible should have in it. Albino monks from the Franciscans are assigned to kill anyone who attempts to uncover the truth.

The 3 Stooges Code
A hidden painting locked away by the Catholic Church. Jesus really intended for The 3 Stooges to take on 17th century Dutch personas and lead the world to salvation. Albino monks from Sister Jean Marie's 4th Grade class are assigned to kill any knucklehead or wiseguy who attempts to uncover the truth.

The Seinfeld Code
A hidden painting locked away by the Catholic Church. Jesus actually ran off to the Upper West Side with Elaine, but not until the whole whacky gang had a Last Supper at the Kenny Rogers Roasters across the street from Kramer's apartment. No real Bible actually exists... after all, it would just be a book about nothing. Albino monks from Monk's Restaurant are assigned to kill anyone who attempts to uncover the truth.

The Lugari Code
A hidden painting locked away by the Catholic Church. A chain smoking, exceedingly anorexic, somewhat balding paisano from the Mid-west is the only person to ever have authentic visions. All others are just money-making lies perpetrated by The Catholic Church. Albino monks from Fidei Defensor are assigned to kill anyone who attempts to uncover the truth.