Sunday, February 12, 2006

News From The Future
100 years from now?

Catholic Youth Riot In Eurabia

(Al-Jazeera) Londonibad, Islamic Republic of England - Amid chants of "Gloria in Excelsis Deo!", followers of the Prophet Jesus have rioted again for the ninth straight day in the Caliphate of Bavaria. Following the government ordered shutdown of the pagan Shrine Of St. Benedict XVI, papist troublemakers have clamored for a return to "the Christian roots of old Europe".

Inspector Abu Achmed Al-'Aziz of the Metropolitan Authority for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vices, better known as the Morality Police, has stated that the situation is escalating despite his best efforts. "we've publicly beheaded hundreds and cut the hands off of twice that amount. But the number of infidel Jesus worshippers seem to grow larger by the day".

Inspector Aziz went on to say; "it's bad enough with the homegrown troublemakers, but all the illegal Catholic workers that sneak in here from central and southern Africa just make things worse. We've even had sporadic reports of illegal Mexican Catholics making their way here. Well, we do need the cheap labor."

The leader of the Jesus worshippers, the so-called Pope Marcel III, who is in hiding somewhere in the Sultanate of Rome issued the following statement; "Urged by necessity, I, Marcel, by the permission of God chief bishop and prelate over the whole world, have come with a divine admonition to you, the servants of God. I hoped to find you as faithful and as zealous in the service of God as I had supposed you to be. We must take back what was ours. We must never again become complacent. We must never again quiver at the roar of satan. We must take up the sword and shield of St. Michael and defend Holy Mother The Church. Gloria in Excelsis Deo!"

The Grand Mufti of Belgistan said today; "these Catholics breed like rabbits. If we don't get this situation under control quickly, we just may lose Eurabia one day."

6 Comments:

Blogger Gillibrand said...

I read this at a lunch party in Brussels today. Not a dry eye in the house. A friend pointed out that there have already been two Popes named Marcel in French and Marcellus in Latin.
http://www.catholic-hierarchy.org/bishop/bcervini.html

God willing, it does not come to this. Victory is not in question. The depth of the crisis is.

9:05 AM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Gillibrand,
Thanks for the info on the other Popes named Marcel. I have corrected. And can you guess why I chose the name "Marcel"? ;-)

Also, the quote was borrowed from someone else... well, the first part anyway. Do a google search in the first sentence. You'll be happily suprized!

9:32 AM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Oops, I forgot to add that I'm glad that what I wrote was able to make an impact at your gathering

9:34 AM  
Blogger Tito said...

...The Hammer Martel!

Anyways, great posting. I love alternate history and you may have started a new genre in 'future history'.

8:19 PM  
Blogger Fidei Defensor said...

This is one of your best posts ever! Even under Islamic oppresion the seeds can be sewed for Catholic resurgence, consider Spain, once under the thumb of Muslims, 100's of martyrdoms and years later and you have Spain spreading the faith to every corner of the globe!

In your "future" history scenario I wonder if Irish and Polish troops would intervene, being the only major Catholic majority countries in Europe at that time.

10:34 PM  
Blogger Former Altar Boy said...

Yes, CSM, listen to FD. How about another episode in which the Sons of King Jan Sobieski again stop the Islamic advance?

11:01 PM  

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