Friday, July 24, 2009

The Spirit Of Vatican II iPhone
So warm... so fuzzy

Nothing keeps today's Neo-Protestant slim 'n trim like ducking out of Mass early, dodging Confession, executing profound bows that would make an 18th century French homosexual seethe with envy, and the all time SoV2 fav, giving the heave-ho to 2,000 years of Catholicism. Now you can keep track of exactly how many calories were worked off. Much like the state of their immortal soul -- feel the burn!

So what exactly does it feel like when centuries worth of Saints and Popes turn over in their graves?

What to do, what to do? Sister Mary Bulldyke, Liturgy Czar over at the USCCB has dreamt up a new Mass involving Halloween costumes, macrame, half a dozen banjos, transgendered sock puppets, and a virgin and a mule. Does it meet the strict standards of being labeled SoV2 Worthy? Not to worry. This app will always tilt to the left.

Can't make it to the Celebration of The Eucharist at Sts. Fidel and Che this Sunday? Fret not. This Blood of Christ app satisfies your Sunday obligation. Now available in a refreshing sauvignon blanc!

Reportedly the number one app on Rembie Weakland's iPhone.

Can't dumb down the English language fast enough? Too stupid to understand the meanings of sullied, unfeigned, ineffable, gibbet, wrought or thwart? The Effing The Ineffable app is guaranteed to ensure your Liturgy is understood by 2d Graders. After all, it's written by 2d Graders! Troutperson approved.

Ohhh... just so you can stay current on what The Holy Father is up to.

2 Comments:

Blogger Al said...

If you could actually come out with this, you would make a fortune, sadly. Although, I do think the seismograph reaction is only about 1/2 of what it really is.

6:50 AM  
Blogger TheSeeker said...

LMAO!! Great post.

8:54 AM  

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