Monday, May 04, 2009

You. Gotta. Be. Kidding. Me.
Your tax dollars at work

WARNING! Crude humor alert!

The Zero Administration is getting ready to plunk down almost half a million clams to study ---- wait for it ---- the drinking and sex habits of fudge packers in Argentina.

Here's some of the article from CNSnews.com; (Emphasis and comments mine) Feds Will Spend $400,000 to Study Drinking and Sex Habits of Homosexuals in Argentina

(CNSNews.com) – The National Institutes of Health (NIH) is funding a study that seeks to discover a link between drinking and having sex among homosexuals in Argentina.
(Hmmm... let me see what I can do to save the taxpayers almost half a million.)

The study will send researchers to six bars in Buenos Aires to interview both patrons and proprietors in an effort to discover what it is about those bars that may encourage the risky behavior. (OK, I've got my notebook at the ready, and I've arrived at 'The Gay Caballero'. Lot's of fruity drinks with little umbrellas in them. Even more human-generated methane in the air. Between the alcohol and the smell of butt-hole, the ever increasing sexual tension is growing by the minute. Queers are on the hunt tonight.)

The study’s primary focus is to determine the relationship among drinking, bars frequented by homosexuals, and risky sexual behavior to see if certain bars in Argentina might be good targets for HIV-prevention campaigns. (NOTE: Considerable drinking + more sissies than Sodom AND Gomorrah combined = it's all fun and games until rectums are ruptured, and colons are turned inside out.)

Researchers will interview 48 of the men who patronize the bars, as well as the bar staff to gather information on the types of alcohol consumed and sexual behavior engaged in. (Sample interview: Hey queer bait, are you hungover? Check. Is your ass-hole still bleeding? Check. OK, I think I've made a connection here.)

“Venue patrons will also undergo a brief quantitative assessment to gather descriptive data on sexual behavior and substance use.” (Sample interview: Hey gay boy, are you hungover? Check. Is your ass-hole still bleeding? Check. OK, I think I've made a connection here.)

After discovering why men who drink in these bars have homosexual sex, researchers will then try to discover whether it is possible to conduct anti-HIV interventions and how to conduct those interventions. (Well, when your study takes place in a bar named 'The White Swallow', it's a pretty sure bet that sodomy is the watchword of the day.)

The study will “4) assess willingness of venue owners/personnel to partner with HIV prevention organizations in reducing HIV risk in these settings and [what] types of prevention programs they find acceptable.” (Face it, they don't find ANY 'prevention program' acceptable. Simply because anything even remotely resembling prevention means they can't do this.

While the study is being conducted in Argentina, it is being funded with U.S. tax dollars. The grant recipients--who could not be reached for comment--say in the abstract that information gathered in the bars in Argentina might help inform similar efforts in America. (What, they couldn't find any fags in America? Try Capitol Hill.)

The study is among a number funded by the NIAAA to examine the relationship between drinking and the spread of HIV, including a study of tourism, prostitution, and HIV in the Dominican Republic and another study examining drinking and HIV among prostitutes in China. (OK... time for me to save my country a lot of money. Drunk queers love to screw each other. There --- I've just saved the taxpayers $400,000)

2 Comments:

Blogger wildcat_conservative said...

I just don't even have words for this.
I can't say I'm surprised.

I wonder if they'd pay us the $400k? I can tell them the reason they're having drunken gay sex.... uhm... probably because they're gay and they're drunk/horny....
Do they need to know where to send the check now? ;)

2:44 PM  
Blogger Al said...

If this wasn't from CNSnews I would have sworn that it came from the Onion.

I've got a better idea, give the money to me. I can use it. & I'll come up with a totally unPC report that will probably be more truthful about the real problems than this waste of our tax dollars ever would.

1 other thing, Why Argentina? Can't they find enough gay bars in DC to do the same research? Or is someone looking for a change of scenery & is looking for an exotic vacation & some fresh meat as well?

11:08 PM  

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