Sunday, November 16, 2008

Welcome To Socialist Catholics United For Me-ism!
Preserving self-esteem since 1962

Hey groovy dudes and happenin' chicks. I'm Presider Harry T. Ick, President of the Assembly at Socialist Catholics United for Me-ism (SCUM), an affiliate organization of Don't Out Undeclared Catholic Homos EVER - But Accept Gay Sissies (DOUCHE-BAGS). And we all fall under the big, loving umbrella of the USCCB... or the CCCP... er', somethin' like that.

Anyhow, if you're anything like me, you're fed-up with the intimidation and intolerance of those on the Right. And if you're anything like me, you want them sent to re-education camps so they can fully understand and embrace the true Spirit of Vatican II.

What I'm proposing is that the incoming President, him being the first African-Kenyan-Kansan-Hawaiian-Indonesian-Dumbo-Jug Eared-American President, will grant us $739,000,000,000,000,000,000 (give or take a buck or two) so we can establish government funded Faith Based re-education camps. After all, we put "Social" back in Socialism!

And here's a sneak peek into the curriculum;

Phys Ed 402: STOMP!
Get the cardio workout that would make a running Frenchman envious! Nothing says elevated heart rate like stomping on a Cross... or a 69-year-old woman! Hatred in your heart? Feel the burn!

Pre-Law 305: Freedom From Speech
Activist bishops BEWARE! Learn the fine points of unleashing the IRS on anyone who dares speak against The Obamessiah. Also covered is indicting intolerant preachers who declare the gay lifestyle to be sinful. Nail 'em, then jail 'em!

Automotive Repair Sciences 103: So THAT's What A Differential Looks Like! - The Fine Art Of Being Thrown Under A Bus
Sharp pain between your shoulder blades? Might be a knife... might not be! It very well could be a big-assed mud flap cleaving you in two as your superior gives you the push of your life. Enroll now and learn the difference.


Blogger nypd green said...

I can hear their campaign slogan now, "Let's get the 'Fruits' of Vatican II back in the Seminary where they belong"!

9:45 AM  
Blogger Simplex Vir said...

You forgot a class.

Physc-101: It is all about YOU. God is great, God is in you. Therefore, you are God! Let us worship each other!

9:57 AM  
Blogger Former Altar Boy said...


"Don't Out Undeclared Catholic Homos EVER - But Accept Gay Sissies (DOUCHE-BAGS)" - LOL!!!

11:45 AM  
Blogger Joe of St. Thérèse said...

LOL! classic, unfortunately, there's compelete truth in all of this.

Econ 101: Learn how redistributing money is great for you. (and by you i mean government)

12:57 PM  

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