Friday, July 11, 2008

The Unflappable Unitas
Laser clarity and hilarity!

Bloglodyte extraordinaire, Unitas over at Altare Dei has an absolutely first rate post. What people could prove if they just had the evidence:

1. That aliens really did crash-land in Roswell, New Mexico

2. The Kennedy assassination was really a CIA plot.

3. The masons really are descendants of the Templar knights.

4. The masons really do pre-exist the 18th century.

5. Leonard Nimoy is really a Vulcan.

6. The Catholic Church is the whore of Babylon

7. The Illuminati really are in charge of the United States and want to make a New World Order

8. 9/11 really is just a Zionist plot to attack muslims

9. Democrats really aren't communists and traitors

10. Islam really is a religion of peace

11. The CIA listens in on your juicy phone conversations about what to make for dinner and saying hi to your mom.

12. Hillary really did duck from sniper fire.

13. The early christians really did beleive in sola scriptura.

14. The fruits of Vatican II

15. The Pope really is the richest man on earth

16. The Inquisition killed millions of people.

17. The middle east really does respect Jimmy Carter

18. The pope condemned the Iraq war

19. The crusades were a bad thing

20. Catholic democrats can still be Catholic

21. George Soros really isn't the son of the devil.

22. Darwinism is true

23. Bill really didn't inhale.

24. John Kerry is a war hero

25. Michelle Obama really is proud to be an American

26. Wind and solar power are effective and efficient

27. The legalization and regulation of abortion has kept it safe and rare.

28. The CEO of Exxon/Moblile is the anti-Christ for making 13M dollars by destroying the planet, but Oprah is a saint for making 270m dollars providing the world with a precious resource.

29. AIDS is an equal-opportunity killer

30. Homosexuality is normal

Ok, I'll stop here, I'm having way too much fun.


Blogger Dad29 said...

31. Vatican II was actually the founding of the Church.

2:11 PM  
Blogger Simplex Vir said...

The U.S. Constitution was meant to be a "living" document.

Man-made greenhouse gases are causing Global Warming (insert Global Cooling if it is very cold outside)killing the planet and we are all doomed!

7:05 PM  
Blogger Vir Speluncae Orthodoxae said...


7:34 PM  
Blogger †JMJ† said...

I already knew every one of these except the Oprah one. I am going to use that next time I hear someone complaining about the oil companies.

9:00 PM  

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