The Lair of the Catholic Caveman

The Car Crash of Blogs. You Don't Want To, But You Just Can't Help But Look

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Poor Father Skippy... He's SOOOO Busy!
Aw, bullshit!

WARNING!! Harsh language alert! Oops... too late.

I for one, am fed the hell up with the constant bitchin' and moanin' about the plight of your average hippie-burn-out-wannabe homo-friendly uberliberal Spirit of Vatican II Modernist priest.

Yeah, I know... in many diocese, there is one priest for every 2 or 3 parishes. But oddly enough, in many cases these are the same diocese that:

1. Refuse to allow the FSSP (or any other Traditional Order) to even set foot there.
2. Go out of there way to ordain those who are such flamers, that even the cast of La Cage Aux Folles would say "damn, that dude's a fag".
3. Have members of the laity actually in charge of priests.
4. Propagate the whole Chicks With Pyx/Poncho Lady mentality.
5. Have a healthy and vibrant GLBTQNBAWOWD (Gay Lesbian Bi-Sexual Transgendered Queer Necrophiliac Bestiality Any-Warm-Orifice-Will-Do) Ministry.

With that said, here's why no one will ever see me shed alligator tears for these metzofanooks -- they've surrendered so much of their priestly duties... they're bored. They have absolutely nothing to do. They really are nothing more that Eucharistic sperm donors who flit from parish to parish confecting the Blessed Sacrament. And that's their entire function in life. That is if they even believe in The Real Presence.

Think about it. Does this sound like the parish priests in your diocese?

1. Forget about them teaching catechism. Some DRE in Stretch Pants has that particular bailiwick.
2. They don't make home or hospital calls to the sick. The Eucharistic Monsters manage to screw that up on a daily basis.
3. They don't go to wakes. That abomination called the Bereavement Committee honchos that effort.
4. They sure as hell don't run the parish. The business manager has that authority.
5. Small things, like actually ensuring that everything is set-up and correct for Mass, fuhgedaboudit. Liturgy Committee, baby.
6. Don't count on a whole helluva lot of time set aside for Confession. 30 minutes, max.

So like I said, other than being somewhat busy on Sunday mornings, what exactly do these guys do... other than giving inspid sermons on "luv", defending Luther and attend Gay Pride rallies?

posted by Kevin Whiteman at 7:03 PM

10 Comments:

Blogger PreVat2 said...

Cavey,
You did it again. You damn near made me crap myself! I can't remember reading anything as funny (or on target) as this in a long, long time.

Semper Fi

8:46 AM  
Blogger VSO said...

LOL! You're really going to tick off the enemy with that post Cavey.

11:42 AM  
Blogger Adrienne said...

Hey, Cavey - why don't you tell us what you really think?? I can almost see the froth hitting the computer screen. LOL

3:41 PM  
Blogger Joe of St. Thérèse said...

Hahahaha, I can think of several priests who are like that! LOL! Never have I heard such a quick and accurate assesment of "that 70's priest"

3:46 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

LOL!! Once again, you've managed to sum-up the Archdiocese of LA in on short blog post.

Paul in Long Beach

3:48 PM  
Blogger Fr. Andy said...

Reminds me of that bishop in Oakland, Cali who gave communion to those "dudes" dressed up in drag.

Seriously, try coming to me for communion dressed like that, I double dare you! Adult men should act like adults and adult priests should do likewise. Man I am loaded down with opinions about these things. Ask me in a year what I think about these things. I might give you the full story.

9:36 PM  
Blogger ignorant redneck said...

Just think--

If I read the demographic trends correctly, in a relativly few years all these parasites will be gone, through biological process, except for thosee who finally enter into formal, as opposed to material, schism.

10:18 PM  
Blogger Hail3N1 said...

Ya know, at times I say to myself, "I'm not going to look at the news on a daily basis anymore...it's too darn depressing. So, I'll just stick to the good ole traditional sites. Although its impossible to keep the public abreast of the going-ons inside our Church, without some news of the rodent-infested Vat II churches; we come across a little humor mixed in, like this one, (true as it is), which allows us to have good chuckle. If we were not able to laugh, what a truly sad life we would be living. The time seems closer where laughter and humor may become totally absent, but we remain hopeful, strong soldiers, and never forget the promise of Our Lady, that Her Immaculate Heart will Triumph!

11:11 AM  
Blogger Dymphna said...

Sounds like my old parish. The pastor there wonders why the people in the pews don't give enough. I want to tell him it's because none of them know him or what he does because there is a human wall of gay men or bitter poncho ladies in between him and the pew sitters. If he'd have the courage to get rid of them and start acting like a priest instead of a business man things would turn around.

6:29 AM  
Blogger Clare said...

I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!! Thanks for having some balls. You're on my favorites now.

7:30 PM  

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